Specific person issue

[Umbran]

In such cases I think it behooves the mod to read back over the past few pages of a thread before taking action on the basis of a single response post that has been reported to them.

And, in general, we do. That doesn't mean we will agree with your assessment, and act as you would.

 

[S'mon]

And, in general, we do. That doesn't mean we will agree with your assessment, and act as you would.

Well, that's good. Your first sentence obviously, not your second. You should always act as I would.

 

[pawsplay]

Well, that's good. Your first sentence obviously, not your second. You should always act as I would.

All beings should strive to achieve the apotheos'mon.

 

[pawsplay]

IThe poster I mentioned seems apolitical but enjoys making outrageous statements and getting a rise out of people for the sake of it.

More seriously, outrageous statements are often the product of an immature, and perhaps inconsistent viewpoint. Asking such a person to behave may be asking them to adopt a viewpoint they don't understand. As Umbran said, sometimes it takes time and experience for some people to learn to get along with others. Not only do we gain the benefit from their inclusion, but by seeking understanding and compassion for others, we benefit through our own transformation.

Human beings react to emotional annoyance as though it were physical pain. It's how we have managed to adapt and adapt in complex social situations over the millenia. But it is important to recognize that this sensation is an illusion. When we are annoyed with someone, it is really more accurate to say we make ourselves annoyed in response to their behavior. By recognizing that the annoyance resides within ourselves, we achieve greater control of our emotions and our inner world.

In the words of Kahlil Gibran:

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from those unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.

 

[aurance]

[snip]

Can't give you more xp yet so I'll just say you rule.

 

[Bullgrit]

When we are annoyed with someone, it is really more accurate to say we make ourselves annoyed in response to their behavior. By recognizing that the annoyance resides within ourselves, we achieve greater control of our emotions and our inner world.

I'm sorry, but this is baloney. A person's annoying behavior is annoying *behavior*, not someone else's emotion.

If you are at a cocktail party, having enjoyable conversations, and there's this one guy who just keeps blowing cigar smoke in your face, it is not your internal lack of emotion control that is the problem. It is the jackhole who's performing the annoying *action*.

If you are participating in an online discussion forum about a game, and someone keeps making little comments to insult your game preference, it is not your internal lack of emotion control that is the problem. It is the jackhole who's making the unnecessary comments.

Bullgrit

 

[El Mahdi]

I'm sorry, but this is baloney. A person's annoying behavior is annoying *behavior*, not someone else's emotion.

If you are at a cocktail party, having enjoyable conversations, and there's this one guy who just keeps blowing cigar smoke in your face, it is not your internal lack of emotion control that is the problem. It is the jackhole who's performing the annoying *action*.

If you are participating in an online discussion forum about a game, and someone keeps making little comments to insult your game preference, it is not your internal lack of emotion control that is the problem. It is the jackhole who's making the unnecessary comments.

Bullgrit

I understand what you're saying, but I agree with Pawsplay. (That's been happening a lot lately...Damn you Paws!)

In the first example (the Cigar Smoke), you're not talking about percieved or self-generated pain/discomfort - you're talking about very real, physical pain/discomfort triggered by a very real and physical, external irritant.

Someone on the internet posting in an annoying way is not an external physical irritant, it's mental. That's not to say that it isn't also "real", but it can be ignored. In most cases a physical external irritant can't. Reacting to the bad behavior (the internet jerk) is normal and instinctive (and as Pawsplay said, our mind and bodies reaction to it is as if it was physical, even though it isn't), but unlike a physical reaction to a physical irritant, a mental one can be controlled and ignored.

I'm not saying that if one doesn't control it, they are somehow less than or inferior to someone who does - but someone who has learned to control it definitely has advantages. They are able to respond rationally rather than emotionally - more effectively and efficiently. They are better able to judge whether a response is even worthwhile in the first place. In a face to face encounter (rather than the internet), one is better able to deal with a real threat if emotions are kept in check. In a fight, an emotional mind is a hammer - a rational mind is a laser.

As much as I understand what Pawsplay was saying though, I find that I am far from the maturity needed to put it into regular practice.

Maybe someday...

 

[pawsplay]

I'm sorry, but this is baloney. A person's annoying behavior is annoying *behavior*, not someone else's emotion.

Albert Ellis says you're wrong.

Think of it this way: if it were the behavior that were annoying, wouldn't everyone get annoyed at the same things?

 

[Bullgrit]

You are saying, then, that there is no way a person can be intentionally annoying. Didn't have a brother or sister when you were growing up? Don't have two or more children now?

You are absolving trolls of all responsibility for riling up a message board.

Think of it this way: if it were the behavior that were annoying, wouldn't everyone get annoyed at the same things?

Even viruses and bacteria don't make everyone equally sick.

Bullgrit

 

[Scott DeWar]

Think of it this way: if it were the behavior that were annoying, wouldn't everyone get annoyed at the same things?

Just as twins will find different things to be found annoying. So wil lno two people who are not twins find things not the same level of annoyance. Sorry for all the negatives there, but i was not sure how else to discuss a negative.