D&D 5E Spell balance? Abyssal Fury (conversion/homebrew)


My current game is ultimately headed to the Abyss – but I've got some time before then, so I've been writing up some things in preparation, including several converted spells with Abyssal or demonic themes.

One spell that I'd like to include is Abyssal Fury – it will be known by an enemy, written on a scroll which the PCs can acquire, and as a bit of lore building regarding a perpetually "falling" NPC in the Abyss. This 9th level spell originated in the CRPG Planescape Torment which used the AD&D system, and it was pretty much a save or die (or take random amount of damage) spell, so I've more adapted it to occupy an interesting niche rather than doing a strict 1-to-1 conversion.

This spell opens a planar portal beneath a specified victim and drags them down into the Abyss. The portal remains open even after the victim is swallowed in. The only sound bystanders hear is the incessant screaming of the victim as he/she is torn apart by the ruthless Tanar'ri. After what seems like only a few seconds (which is more than an eternity for the victim in the Abyss), the victim (or what's left of him) gets spit back out of the portal.
  • If the victim makes a successful saving throw, he will get spit out of the portal in 'one piece', but while the victim senses nothing at first, after a split-second, all the Wrath of the Tanar'ri will surface. The victim will suffer 5-510 pts. of damage as he suffers multiple 'delayed' attacks and slashes from all angles.
  • If the victim fails the saving throw, it is instant death. All that is left are body parts.

Does this seem like a reasonable and interesting 9th level spell to you?

Well, as much as reason applies when 9th level magic is involved.
A few design notes:
  • Like a magnified hellish rebuke.
  • Like a non-concentration banishment that automatically happens, but requires that the creature damage you for it to work.
  • Like a disintegration "lite" (more like "at 0 hp you die" effects, but you're not disintegrated, so you could still benefit from revivify), and it's not save or die, but damage builds like the delayed blast fireball spell.
  • I set the damage so it would take 3 rounds to be roughly equivalent to a 9th level disintegrate spell.
  • Conceivably a creature unable to reach a high save DC might be hurled forever through the Abyss!
Abyssal Fury
9th level abjuration (sorcerer, warlock, wizard)
Casting Time: Reaction (when you are damaged by a creature within 60 feet that you can see)
Range: 60 feet
Components: V, S, M (earth from the Abyss)
Duration: Special

You utter a curse, and the creature that damaged you vanishes and is hurled across layers of the Abyss where demons tear at it and hostile elements assail it. While being hurled, a creature can still take actions, though any attempt to teleport or planeshift fails and instead the creature immediately return to the space it formerly inhabited or the nearest unoccupied space.

The creature must make a Charisma saving throw at the end of each of its turns. Creatures native to the Abyss have advantage on their saving throw. On a success, the creature returns to the space it formerly inhabited or the nearest unoccupied space.

Upon returning, the creature takes 5d12 damage per round it was hurled through the Abyss. If the creature is reduced to 0 hit points, it is killed outright.

When a creature takes damage from this spell, you decide the damage type of each die of damage from these options: acid, bludgeoning, cold, fire, lightning, piercing, poison, psychic, slashing, or thunder. No more than half the damage dice may be from the same damage type.

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Given the indefinite duration for which the target suffers substantial damage each round, this feels like it should be concentration and have a 1 minute duration.

Also the language needs to be clarified a bit, because talk of turns, rounds, etc. is likely to cause confusion since the target is technically sent to the Abyss on one of their own turns. Do they make a save at the end of that turn the caster sends them there? The possibility of only doing 5d12 damage and wasting part of one of their turn doesn't feel nearly as 9th level as if they don't get a save until the end of their first full turn in the Abyss.

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