evilbob
Adventurer
I think this thread is an excellent example of how the vast majority of people rate themselves as "above average." 
As for myself... Realistically?
Str - 7. I can lift... chairs.
Dex - 11. Years of video games have left me with ok responses and slightly-decent aim.
Con - 8. I never get sick, but I can only run for a couple minutes anymore before I get winded. And I would have very few HP. Seriously, don't hurt me: I crumple.
Int - 13? 14? I have no idea what my IQ is. How do people even find this out? Anyway, like many in this thread I have more than one degree and was top of the class and blah blah blah.
Wis - 10. I feel... wise. Sometimes I'm not. But I am stubborn sometimes. Guessing average.
Cha - 11. Only because I'm a part-time (and fairly bad) actor, not because I turn heads. (Cause I don't.) My mom tells me I'm handsome.
Class: Expert, but only because I can't plow well enough to be a commoner. I craft code sometimes.
Now, stats adjusted for ENWorld boards:
Str - 10. I can lift... CHAIRS!
Dex - 14. CLEARLY those years of video gaming have paid off! THANK YOU PIT FALL!
Con - 12. I NEVER get sick! Also, I can run for literally MINUTES before tiring!
Int - 18. TOP OF MY CLASS! Did I mention MULTIPLE degrees of higher learning? Plus, I often remember things about places and stuff. Vocabulary is good!
Wis - 14. I am so much more patient/wise/discrete/stubborn than anyone I know. Plus, everyone I know is a jerk.
Cha - 16. Did I mention ACT-TORRRR? I've been in probably several community theatre productions that weren't firebombed upon opening. That has to count for SOMETHING!
Class: Wizard. But only because I can throw fireballs once per day after reading about them in a book.

As for myself... Realistically?
Str - 7. I can lift... chairs.
Dex - 11. Years of video games have left me with ok responses and slightly-decent aim.
Con - 8. I never get sick, but I can only run for a couple minutes anymore before I get winded. And I would have very few HP. Seriously, don't hurt me: I crumple.
Int - 13? 14? I have no idea what my IQ is. How do people even find this out? Anyway, like many in this thread I have more than one degree and was top of the class and blah blah blah.
Wis - 10. I feel... wise. Sometimes I'm not. But I am stubborn sometimes. Guessing average.
Cha - 11. Only because I'm a part-time (and fairly bad) actor, not because I turn heads. (Cause I don't.) My mom tells me I'm handsome.
Class: Expert, but only because I can't plow well enough to be a commoner. I craft code sometimes.
Now, stats adjusted for ENWorld boards:
Str - 10. I can lift... CHAIRS!
Dex - 14. CLEARLY those years of video gaming have paid off! THANK YOU PIT FALL!
Con - 12. I NEVER get sick! Also, I can run for literally MINUTES before tiring!
Int - 18. TOP OF MY CLASS! Did I mention MULTIPLE degrees of higher learning? Plus, I often remember things about places and stuff. Vocabulary is good!
Wis - 14. I am so much more patient/wise/discrete/stubborn than anyone I know. Plus, everyone I know is a jerk.
Cha - 16. Did I mention ACT-TORRRR? I've been in probably several community theatre productions that weren't firebombed upon opening. That has to count for SOMETHING!
Class: Wizard. But only because I can throw fireballs once per day after reading about them in a book.