Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

[Lalalei2001]

In a World War 2 game, Hangell was a British special forces paratrooper. He and private MacWel were on a mission to blow up a German munitions train. They saw a guard booth with a sleeping guard in it, and began to discuss what to do. They soon started to argue, and the German guard woke up and shot Hangell with an MP40 smg.

 

[Lalalei2001]

Any more?

 

[ruleslawyer]

Maybe I have really dumb players, but these really don't seem so bad.

My favorite episode still concerns the final encounter with Lolth's avatar in the control room of her spider ship at the end of my (modified) Q1 Queen of the Demonweb Pits. The control room is rife with windowlike portals showing different scenes in radically different-looking environments; the characters have some idea that these are interplanar gates, since they've been using analogous portals in the Demonweb to rest and recover along the way.

Three of the PCs are down, with only three left standing. Though deprived of minions, Lolth is still wiping the floor with them. So, what does the player of the fighter PC do?

Round 1: Walks over to downed fighter companion's body and grabs the girdle of giant strength and hammer of thunderbolts. (Clash of combat in background.)

Round 2: Straps on girdle, winds up, and hurls hammer... at - or in this case *through* - the portal to Arvandor. This over howls by everyone else at the table. (Meanwhile, cleric PC is disintegrated.)

Round 3: Devoid of a useful weapon (wonder whose fault that was?), decides to charge Lolth [in monstrous spider form] and grapple her.

This is the same player who, while the (9th-level) PCs were sitting around a table in Elminster the Sage's library while the Old Sage himself was giving them advice on a quest, openly declared that he wanted to "sneak off and see if this guy has any stuff worth stealing." When it all shook out, I gave the other players extra XP just for having to deal with that guy's stupidity.

 

[werk]

Any more? ^_^

Fine!

My first character, first game ever, (long time ago).
Dwarven cleric, 1st level, party of 5 dwarves.
Went into a cave to eradicate some kobold pests. (this was to teach us how combat worked)
Our tunnel emptied into a larger cavern that was covered with stactites and stalagmites, and we decided to tie a rope and rappel down. He explained that there was no overhang, so we couldn't rappel, we'd have to just shinny down the rope.
One character goes down, the fighter, while the rest of us watch for kobolds.
Another character goes down the rope.
Before he's to the bottom, I decide I'm tired of waiting and start climbing down.
SO we're both dangling and the kobolds can't resist any longer and start ranging us...me.
"What can I do? If I keep climbing, I'll be dead before I hit bottom."
"You could heal yourself or attack."
"I can't really heal myself, because I have to hold on."
"..."
"OK, I attack the kobolds."
"Do you have a ranged weapon?"
"I do, but it's on my back...my mace is on my belt, I'll grab that and wing it at the dogs."

Needless to say, I fell below 0HP after throwing away my mace then fell on the character below me, killing us both.

I didn't even survive one encounter!

 

[Lalalei2001]

We were all at the top of a VERY high cliff, and an evil witch was at the bottom. So the first guy casts Featherfall and floats down. I used my Ring of Featherfall and floated down. The third guy jumped off.

 

[Lalalei2001]

An unfortunate PC decided to charge Darth Vader. He died in 5 seconds.

 

[Chimera]

We were all at the top of a VERY high cliff, and an evil witch was at the bottom. So the first guy casts Featherfall and floats down. I used my Ring of Featherfall and floated down. The third guy jumped off.

Hey, it worked for the first two guys, didn't it?

 

[Emperor Valerian]

I DMed a group of PCs that decided to take on a CR 23 demon, after it was made very apparent to them that the demon was a big badass, and really only wanted to negotiate (they were 18th level at the time, IIRC).

I didn't pull any punches, but they were lucky the demon had an atrocious rolling day. Some people lived.

 

[B9anders]

We were all at the top of a VERY high cliff, and an evil witch was at the bottom. So the first guy casts Featherfall and floats down. I used my Ring of Featherfall and floated down. The third guy jumped off.

hahaha!

 

[Lalalei2001]

My friend read that and it took him a while to get it. When it finally clicked he laughed his head off.