Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

[Dordledum]

from our previouis session, succubus encounter, during combat:

DM: "The succubus tries to grab you and leans over to you pouting her lips. [touch attack hits, roll opposed grapple]"

Our rogue: "I drop my weapons, voluntairily fail my grapple and kiss her on the mouth."

Rest of the party: "Huh?" [Facepalm!]

After the combat, the rogue comes too (having been drained a few levels): "Did I get lucky or what?"

Suffice to say my character (party healer) slapped him senseless and refused to heal him that day.

 

[Dordledum]

Another one which I would categorize under "lost in translation". Wasn't as much a stupid action per se, but I feel I have to share.

English isn't our party's first language, but as all books are in English, we tend to use that anyway. My friend's ex played with us for a while and she DM-ed a short story in a city setting.

The party was captured by a group of thugs. And we were about to be "questioned" on the whereabouts of an artifact we had found. A half-orc in leather armor took our elven mage apart and said:

"Talk or I'll have at you with my raper!"

We were all ROFL-ing, while our DM looked confounded. Finally we explained that the item we hoped she was referring to was called a rapier.

 

[imurphy943]

This one time, I was playing an OD&D game with original monsters. A huge thing starts coming up out of the sand, and the entire party says "run away!" The DM asks if anyone wants to look back. I said "yeah, and I flip it off."

Then he had me roll a saving throw, which I flubbed but had no noticable effect. I decided it was probably a fear effect, which wouldn't be noticed if I was already running away.

Later that night, the guys on watch noticed thousands of tiny fibers growing out of my sleeping halfling body. I don't know if you've ever played in an old-school game where the DM throws encounters of 5x your hit dice at you regularly, but these guys had.

A *CLERIC* specifically said that he kept hitting the corpse long after it was hamburger meat. The mage woke up and started shooting the corpse with a phaser (I swear to God, he had a laser gun). They threw burning oil all over the corpse AND my riding goat.

 

[Lalalei2001]

I started hyperventilating from laughter at this. The rest of the thread's pretty good too, as is this one.

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=9915783&postcount=19

http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?88960-Funny-D-amp-D-Stories

 

[Ziltrox]

We once had a mage that wanted to use his shrink spell on the barbarian gnome so he could catapult him to the other side of the bridge (which had collapsed).. It didnt end well haha