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Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done
- Thread starter Lalalei2001
- Start date
SkredlitheOgre
Explorer
A while ago, during a GURPS Supers campaign, my character had five levels of Super Flight, which I had figured out was faster than the speed of sound, though I don't remember the calculation off the top of my head. Anyway, another character was off the ship and called for help, as her location was under attack. I immediately run to the deck and take off, full speed. A minute later:
GM: Full speed, huh?
Me: Um. Yeah?
GM: Where are you going?
Me: To Chammie's place. She needs help.
GM: Right, but where IS that?
Me: ...Crap.
I had no idea where the place was, and after a full minute, I was several jillion miles away from anything. Thus, my character earned the quirk of not knowing which direction was which.
From the same campaign, another player had had personal issues with the GM (they lived in the same apartment), but things hadn't been too bad. Until this. The other player and I enter this mystic cave to meet an information source, which turned out to be a dragon. I was properly cowed. The other player was not.
GM: *gives information as dragon*
Me: Thank you.
Other Player: Is that everything?
GM: *as dragon* Yes.
OP: I shoot the dragon in the eye.
I slowly turn and look at the other player and then back at the GM.
Me: So, how fast do I reach top speed?
GM: *livid beyond anything I've seen from him since* Almost instantly.
Me: *nods* I punch (OP's character) in the head as hard as I can and fly like Hell.
The GM and OP get into a huge argument, since the OP was trying to ruin the campaign due to their personal issues. The rest of the players thanked the GM and walked out. When we reconvened two weeks later, there was no sign of OP and we learned he had moved out and none of us have seen him since.
In my current Pathfinder campaign, I have a player who recently quit because he "wasn't having fun anymore." I am totally willing to accept that as a reason for not wanting to play. The problem *I* had with him was that he would come up with these complex (usually) plans, but not share them with the rest of the party, including me, the DM, so the party was forced to react to not only enemies, but also these seemingly random plans. Case in point:
This player, playing a Elven rogue/sorcerer, and the rest of the group were making their way through this giant underground mausoleum/cave system. They had been following the trail of a wizard who seemed to have a thing for minotaurs. By that, I mean he used minotaurs as henchmen. I created the 'final showdown' thinking that there was the wizard, his two goblin cronies, the minotaur with a template, and a snake-thingie. There were five party members and the two goblins were considered unimportant in the grand scheme. So, I built this minotaur with the thought that the fighter (the only melee class in the group) and the rouge/sorcerer would team up on the minotaur and the other three (a bard, a cleric, and a cleric/wizard) would handle the wizard and the snake-thingie. Instead, the the rogue/sorcerer backs himself into a corner of the room, casts some spell or the other to let him see in magical darkness, and then casts darkness centered on himself, effectively cutting the room in half. None of the other characters can see in magical darkness. The fighter and the minotaur are slugging it out, with the one of the two clerics keeping by her in order to keep her up and moving and flanking the minotaur. The bard is moving toward melee combat with the wizard, and the snake-thingie is being vaguely assaulted by the cleric/wizard. Instead of helping out, the rogue/sorcerer sits in his corner of darkness, ineffectually firing arrows.
This character is the same guy who will laugh evilly when he comes up with a plan, refuses to tell us about it, and then because most everyone else goes before him in combat, is pissed because his beautiful plan is ruined. I tried to explain to him that if he told us what the plan was, we could make it work, but he just moved on to the next plan that he wouldn't tell us about.
He finally quit the group after out last encounter (same group, different DM), which was the barbarian and the monk (me), valiantly trying to kill some ogres/ogrekin (we're playing Rise of the Runelords), while the rogue is tumbling around and flanking/backstabbing whenever possible. This guy is playing a 6th level halfling druid who rides a tiger (or something) and instead of turning into a bear (or something) or moving into melee or summoning some assistance, sat well away from the building using a wand of magic missle. Needless to say, we weren't that broken up about him leaving.
GM: Full speed, huh?
Me: Um. Yeah?
GM: Where are you going?
Me: To Chammie's place. She needs help.
GM: Right, but where IS that?
Me: ...Crap.
I had no idea where the place was, and after a full minute, I was several jillion miles away from anything. Thus, my character earned the quirk of not knowing which direction was which.
From the same campaign, another player had had personal issues with the GM (they lived in the same apartment), but things hadn't been too bad. Until this. The other player and I enter this mystic cave to meet an information source, which turned out to be a dragon. I was properly cowed. The other player was not.
GM: *gives information as dragon*
Me: Thank you.
Other Player: Is that everything?
GM: *as dragon* Yes.
OP: I shoot the dragon in the eye.
I slowly turn and look at the other player and then back at the GM.
Me: So, how fast do I reach top speed?
GM: *livid beyond anything I've seen from him since* Almost instantly.
Me: *nods* I punch (OP's character) in the head as hard as I can and fly like Hell.
The GM and OP get into a huge argument, since the OP was trying to ruin the campaign due to their personal issues. The rest of the players thanked the GM and walked out. When we reconvened two weeks later, there was no sign of OP and we learned he had moved out and none of us have seen him since.
In my current Pathfinder campaign, I have a player who recently quit because he "wasn't having fun anymore." I am totally willing to accept that as a reason for not wanting to play. The problem *I* had with him was that he would come up with these complex (usually) plans, but not share them with the rest of the party, including me, the DM, so the party was forced to react to not only enemies, but also these seemingly random plans. Case in point:
This player, playing a Elven rogue/sorcerer, and the rest of the group were making their way through this giant underground mausoleum/cave system. They had been following the trail of a wizard who seemed to have a thing for minotaurs. By that, I mean he used minotaurs as henchmen. I created the 'final showdown' thinking that there was the wizard, his two goblin cronies, the minotaur with a template, and a snake-thingie. There were five party members and the two goblins were considered unimportant in the grand scheme. So, I built this minotaur with the thought that the fighter (the only melee class in the group) and the rouge/sorcerer would team up on the minotaur and the other three (a bard, a cleric, and a cleric/wizard) would handle the wizard and the snake-thingie. Instead, the the rogue/sorcerer backs himself into a corner of the room, casts some spell or the other to let him see in magical darkness, and then casts darkness centered on himself, effectively cutting the room in half. None of the other characters can see in magical darkness. The fighter and the minotaur are slugging it out, with the one of the two clerics keeping by her in order to keep her up and moving and flanking the minotaur. The bard is moving toward melee combat with the wizard, and the snake-thingie is being vaguely assaulted by the cleric/wizard. Instead of helping out, the rogue/sorcerer sits in his corner of darkness, ineffectually firing arrows.
This character is the same guy who will laugh evilly when he comes up with a plan, refuses to tell us about it, and then because most everyone else goes before him in combat, is pissed because his beautiful plan is ruined. I tried to explain to him that if he told us what the plan was, we could make it work, but he just moved on to the next plan that he wouldn't tell us about.
He finally quit the group after out last encounter (same group, different DM), which was the barbarian and the monk (me), valiantly trying to kill some ogres/ogrekin (we're playing Rise of the Runelords), while the rogue is tumbling around and flanking/backstabbing whenever possible. This guy is playing a 6th level halfling druid who rides a tiger (or something) and instead of turning into a bear (or something) or moving into melee or summoning some assistance, sat well away from the building using a wand of magic missle. Needless to say, we weren't that broken up about him leaving.
SkredlitheOgre
Explorer
This isn't so much stupid as it was fun. At least for me. This is a D&D 3.5 group I'm DM'ing for.
The group has finished their mission in some dimension or the other and they find, conveniently, a Scroll of Wish. Since this is a break in the action, I take the time to figure out the XP for the first have of this night's session.
PC1: We wish to go back to Melinir. (From the Thunder Rift Setting)
Me: *distracted by figuring out XP and not really paying attention* Okay. (I figured that would be it and there would be a break for food/drinks/bathroom/whatever. I hadn't been planning any treachery with the wish.)
PC2: Wait. That would be too easy.
PC1: You're right. We wish to go back to Melinir, but just outside the city, so we're not caught in walls or anything.
Me: *still distracted* Okay. That's fine.
At this point, the entire group of 7 players start making very exact additions to the wish. Things like "inside the castle wall, but not in the castle wall" and even "No, no. We want to appear in the throne room (since one of the characters was the king's step-son) but off to the south side of the throne, so we're not going to appear inside anyone else."
This went on for close to half an hour. Eventually, I decided to send them to an alternate version of their home, complete with a "Mirror, Mirror" goatee on the king. Nobody got it.
The group has finished their mission in some dimension or the other and they find, conveniently, a Scroll of Wish. Since this is a break in the action, I take the time to figure out the XP for the first have of this night's session.
PC1: We wish to go back to Melinir. (From the Thunder Rift Setting)
Me: *distracted by figuring out XP and not really paying attention* Okay. (I figured that would be it and there would be a break for food/drinks/bathroom/whatever. I hadn't been planning any treachery with the wish.)
PC2: Wait. That would be too easy.
PC1: You're right. We wish to go back to Melinir, but just outside the city, so we're not caught in walls or anything.
Me: *still distracted* Okay. That's fine.
At this point, the entire group of 7 players start making very exact additions to the wish. Things like "inside the castle wall, but not in the castle wall" and even "No, no. We want to appear in the throne room (since one of the characters was the king's step-son) but off to the south side of the throne, so we're not going to appear inside anyone else."
This went on for close to half an hour. Eventually, I decided to send them to an alternate version of their home, complete with a "Mirror, Mirror" goatee on the king. Nobody got it.
Lalalei2001
Explorer
These're all great XD
Had a Paladin try to convert a Bulleywug to Pelor by slamming him down on the alter it just tried to sacrifice a innocent boy on. The Paladin raised up his Holy Symbol and and brought it down on the poor creature while telling him to repent.
When I asked him to make a religion check he fumbled.
Apparently Pelor didn't want some stupid Bulleywug in his services, so he shined down his golden rays, and made it explode.
EDIT: Just noticed this was a grave dug. Sorry.
When I asked him to make a religion check he fumbled.
Apparently Pelor didn't want some stupid Bulleywug in his services, so he shined down his golden rays, and made it explode.
EDIT: Just noticed this was a grave dug. Sorry.
Lalalei2001
Explorer
Bacon's story is one I read every week or so. it's that funny. XD
Chairman7w
First Post
Chairman7w
First Post
THIS is the kind of stuff that makes D&D so fun!
Living Legend
First Post
I have never been a fan of dungeon crawls, but in highschool I had a DM run a very long Undermountain campaign that was awesome. At one point we come upon a long hallway that appears to be covered in grease and we can't see the end of it. Our party was a little over done, so my psuedodragon decides to challenge the ranger to a race to see who can get to the end of the hallway. My character flys along at full speed, the wemic fighter with 25 strength shoves the ranger with all his force, sending him sliding along the slick floor.
I was winning, so I plunged headfirst into the gelantinous cube, promptly followed by the ranger. The ranger died before they could get him out, my character barely made it.
I was winning, so I plunged headfirst into the gelantinous cube, promptly followed by the ranger. The ranger died before they could get him out, my character barely made it.
to name three from a long list:
- trying to sneak up to a shadow dragon with a party of level 2 heavily armoured fighters and clerics (2nd edition)
- Dwarven Fighter/Cleric casting the "Fly" spell, and proceeding to charge the ancient red dragon which is just flying by. (3.5 edition)
- Picking up a red gem... pulsating...with an overwhelming evil aura... (you know what I'm talking about!)
- trying to sneak up to a shadow dragon with a party of level 2 heavily armoured fighters and clerics (2nd edition)
- Dwarven Fighter/Cleric casting the "Fly" spell, and proceeding to charge the ancient red dragon which is just flying by. (3.5 edition)
- Picking up a red gem... pulsating...with an overwhelming evil aura... (you know what I'm talking about!)
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