Sultans of Defensive Smack

[strongbow]

HEAR YE HEAR YE!

In honor of the Sultans of Smack, this is a proclamation calling for the greatest hero (or villian) in the land to give battle to the hideous creations of those offensive creatures. May those who think themselves worthy to do battle address the following:

1)AC
2)Damage Reduction
3)Spell Resistance (SR)
4)Fortitude, Reflex, and Will Saves
5)Immunities and Resistances
-Elemental (Acid, Cold, Electricity, Fire, Sonic)
-Mental (Mind-Affecting, Compulsion, Enchantment, Fear,
Illusions)
-Conditions (Blindness, Deafness, Disease, Exhaustion, Fatigue,
Nausea, Poison, Paralysis, Sleep, Stunning)
-Everything Else (Ability Damage, Banishment, Death, Dispelling,
Energy Drain, Flat-footedness, Magic, Petrification,
Polymorphing, Scrying, Sneak Attack, Subdual Damage,
Turning, Weapons [Non-Magical and Magical Melee and
Ranged] )


Creativity is welcomed. Candidates are encouraged to stay at CR 16 or lower for an equal , but may go all the way to CR 20 or Character Level 20 if truly audacious and trained in the defensive arts. Candidates from other competitions are welcome.

Let all candidates come forward and answer the challenge!

 

[Jeremy]

Eh? Sure why not.

<posts his old version of Ziggy's invincible pudding snack>

Pudding Smack! --Yes, pudding.
Originally posted by Ziggy

This is a smacked monster that will probably challenge most of those sultans of smack: (BTW - If someone have questions regarding the legality of this monster - please tell me) The CR12 smackdown monster is a: half-celestial, half-dragon (gold), axiomatic black pudding !

It is immune to:
- acid (half-celestial)
- cold (half-celestial)
- electricity (half-celestial)
- fire (half-dragon)

It has

sonic resistance 15 (axiomatic)
Spell resistance 20 (axiomatic)

[Note: If you increase the HD of the pudding slightly to 13, it will get sonic resistance 20 and SR 25.]

It is also immune to mind-influencing effects, poison, sleep, paralysis, stunning, and polymorping [Note: Some of these might disappear when it gets Intelligent, it is AFAIK not covered by the rules] It has wings and can fly, and breathe a 6D10 (DC20) cone of fire (1/day). It has bite and 2 claws, each doing 2D6 (2D4 claw) + 9 + 2D6 acid damage. And it will destroy weapons and armor with acid.

It's also reasonably intelligent (INT 5, WIS 5). But the real killer is the black puddings immunity to weapons, if it is damaged by any weapon it will instead split into two identical creatures, each with half the original's hit points, but with all special abilities.
It's going to be a bitch to damage, only a few spells work on it (e.g. force and death), and those must beat SR. And it doesn't matter how much melee damage you do, its only going to split it into two monsters. If you want to be nasty you could slap a Beast of Xvim onto it, then it will be CR13, but can feed on humanoids to increase HD.

Let one out in a farming community, and watch it split and grow, split and grow ..... .Ziggy

Muwa ha ha! Yay Ziggy!

 

[Magus_Jerel]

1. Defensive smackdown - Return to Sender - address unknown.

ye needed magic item
Rod of maximization from T&B

ye needed spell - cast any one of several ways
Spell turning

add together -
smacketh downeth all offensive magic combinations that are cast directly at ye from range back at their caster...

particularly bad with "I suggest you take your best shot you idiot"


2. ye olde instant survival trick - works on all spells that do not use fire or acid.

Polymorph self or comrade - into troll. This allows said person to regenerate over a fairly brief period of time. It is perhaps best that this trick is used when not in a city or other civilized area unless absolutely necessary. Combine this with any item or items that render one immune to fire or acid damage - and survival is nearly assured.

best - is to use this as a "persistent" spell... but stay in your natural form until such a defense is needed.

3. Ye best defense of all - no be seen.

Ring of Invisibility - goeth a long way to avoiding the eye of thine enemy.

 

[CRGreathouse]

Well, I don't like this more than any ione else does, but someone had to post it.

Rod of security + Astral form.

 

[The Sigil]

Never, ever...

Never, ever forget the importance of this one.

3. Ye best defense of all - no be seen.

Ring of Invisibility - goeth a long way to avoiding the eye of thine enemy.

(Caption on screen: 'HM GOVERNMENT, PUBLIC SERVICE FILM NO. 42 PARA 6. 'HOW NOT TO BE SEEN'')

Voice Over: In this film we hope to show how not to be seen. This is Mr. E.R. Bradshaw of Napier Court, Black Lion Road London SE5. He can not be seen. Now I am going to ask him to stand up. Mr. Bradshaw will you stand up please

(In the distance Mr Bradshaw stands up. There is a loud gunshot as Mr Bradshaw is shot in the stomach. He crumples to the ground)

Voice Over: This demonstrates the value of not being seen.

(Cut to another location - an empty area of scrubland)

Voice Over: In this picture we canot see Mrs. B.J. Smegma of 13, The Cresent, Belmont. Mrs Smegma will you stand up please.

(To the right of the area Mrs Smegma stands up. A gunshot rings out, and Mrs. Smegma leaps into the air, and falls to the ground dead. Cut to another area, however this time there is a bush in the middle)

Voice Over: This is Mr Nesbitt of Harlow New Town. Mr Nesbit would you stand up please. (after a pause - nothing happens) Mr Nesbitt has learnt the value of not being seen. However he has chosen a very obvious piece of cover.

(The bush explodes and you hear a muffled scream. Cut to another scene with three bushes)

Voice Over: Mr. E.V. Lambert of Homeleigh, The Burrows, Oswestly, has presented us with a poser. We do not know which bush he is behind, but we can soon find out. (the left-hand bush explodes, then the right-hand bush explodes, and then the middle bush explodes. There is a muffled scream as Mr. Lambert is blown up) Yes it was the middle one.

(Cut to a shot of a farmland area with a water barrel, a wall, a pile of leaves, a bushy tree, a parked car, and lots of bushes in the distance)

Voice Over: Mr Ken Andrews, of Leighton Road, Slough has concealed himself extremely well. He could be almost anywhere. He could be behind the wall, inside the water barrel, beneath a pile of leaves, up in the tree, squatting down behind the car, concealed in a hollow, or crouched behind any one of a hundred bushes. However we happen to know he's in the water barrel.

(The water barrel just blows up in a huge explosion. Cut to a panning shot from the beach huts to beach accross the sea)

Voice Over: Mr. and Mrs. Watson of Ivy Cottage, Worplesdon Road, Hull, chose a very cunning way of not being seen. When we called at their house, we found that they had gone away on two weeks holiday. They had not left any forwading address, and they had bolted and barred the house to prevent us from getting in. However a neighbour told us where there were.

(The camera pans around and stops on a obvious looking hut, which blows up. Cut to a house with a gumby standing out front)

Voice Over: And here is the neighbour (he blows up, leaving just his boots. Cut to a shack in the desert) Here is where he lived (shack blows up - cut to a building) And this is where Lord Langdin lived who refused to speak to us (it blows up). So did the gentleman who lived here....(shot of a house - it blows up) and here.....(another building blows up) and of course here.....(a series of various atom and hydrogen bombs at the moment of impact)

======
Come on, you knew SOMEONE was going to do it...

--The Sigil

 

[reapersaurus]

ROFL!

The It's Man from Nutkinland would be proud...

And just for a quick SR Smackdown, off the top of my head.

Drow Fighter4/Forsaker10
SR = 11+14 from Drow
11+10 from Forsaker (stacks)

SR = 46

 

[Archer]

I don't know where axiomatic is from but ooze qualify for neither half celestial nor the half dragon template.

A pudding is an ooze and therefore cannot have said immunities..

Spell turning is not a smackdown by itself. So it reflects 10 levels of ranged spells that directly target you. That's great against a magic missile smackdown but so is shield.

See invisible is a 2nd level spell, some items give this as a permanent effect.

Regeneration isn't granted by polymorph self.

 

[Jeremy]

From the SRD.

"Half-dragon" is a template that can be added to any corporeal creature (referred to hereafter as the "base creature"). The creature’s type becomes "dragon." It uses all the base creature’s statistics and special abilities except as noted here.

A black pudding is a corporeal creature. How does it not qualify?

Where in the description of ooze do you see "cannot have other immunities granted by templates"?

There are polymorph clarifications that implicitly list a troll's regeneration as an example of a biological function that polymorph grants. But as I cannot find that text in either Tome & Blood, the D&D FAQ, or the SRD, you may be right about polymorph and regeneration.

Axiomatic is from the manual of planes. It is a being from a lawful plane. A half-gold dragon pudding could very well be found on a lawful plane as any half-gold dragon creature is likely to be lawful.

 

[Magus_Jerel]

Spell turning is not a smackdown by itself. So it reflects 10 levels of ranged spells that directly target you. That's great against a magic missile smackdown but so is shield.

ah - you forget - one just blocks a spell - this sends it back at the jerk... all of those nice cute "save vs this insane DC tricks that are up in sultans of smack"... return to sender - you make that saving throw.

oh - there be ways to foil see invis...

 

[Magus_Jerel]

The troll's regeneration is an extraordinary - not supernatural - ability.

This is why polymorph grants the regeneration.