"Can I get a grasshopper instead?"
Supply the punchline
- Thread starter Tewligan
- Start date
Marius Delphus
Adventurer
... to which the necromancer replies, waving one of his zombie servitors forward, "Well, all right, but would you mind serving the stiff a drink?"
Kugar
First Post
A little different
A guy wearing black robes and reaking of the grave walks into the tavern. Strangely the man is being strangled by a severed hand.
The bartender mumbles "We don't serve no death mages here..."
The guy in the robes gasps and mangages to wisper, "One drink..."
The bartender looks at the poor guy shakes his head and says "Ok, one. What will you have"
The customer says "Make it a stiff one" As he says stiff the hand seems to squeeze harder.
The bartender puts out a Mug of Ale. "Its pretty strong, made it myself". The guy in robes gasps "Stiffer!".
The barkeep puts out a Elven Wine. "Stiffer!" The guy in robes is starting to pass out.
The barkeep quickly runs to the cellar and gets a flask of dwarven whiskey. When he runs up the guy in the robes is on one knee.
The barkeep wants to honor this guys last request so he pours him a shot and hands it to the guy in robes. The necromancer pours it on the hand and it falls to the ground.
The mage regains his composure, throws some gold on the bar and leaves with the hand following behind him.
The bartender yells after him "That was amazing, what was that all about"
To which the necromancer says, "It takes a potent spirit to control the dead."
A guy wearing black robes and reaking of the grave walks into the tavern. Strangely the man is being strangled by a severed hand.
The bartender mumbles "We don't serve no death mages here..."
The guy in the robes gasps and mangages to wisper, "One drink..."
The bartender looks at the poor guy shakes his head and says "Ok, one. What will you have"
The customer says "Make it a stiff one" As he says stiff the hand seems to squeeze harder.
The bartender puts out a Mug of Ale. "Its pretty strong, made it myself". The guy in robes gasps "Stiffer!".
The barkeep puts out a Elven Wine. "Stiffer!" The guy in robes is starting to pass out.
The barkeep quickly runs to the cellar and gets a flask of dwarven whiskey. When he runs up the guy in the robes is on one knee.
The barkeep wants to honor this guys last request so he pours him a shot and hands it to the guy in robes. The necromancer pours it on the hand and it falls to the ground.
The mage regains his composure, throws some gold on the bar and leaves with the hand following behind him.
The bartender yells after him "That was amazing, what was that all about"
To which the necromancer says, "It takes a potent spirit to control the dead."
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DerianCypher
First Post
Tewligan said:
"Fine." He then proceeds to have his undead minions work 24/7 to construct a new tavern next door. He then proceeds to run the original tavern into the ground. When the old bartender is leaving his tavern for the last time the necromancer approaches him and says, "HA!" and chops off his head.
... I never said it was going to be a good joke.
Pielorinho
Iron Fist of Pelor
"Fine," said the necromancer, "I'll make my own."
He pulled a tiny silver bell, inscribed with eldritch symbols, out of his pocket and rang it. Immediately, a rotting warrior ran into the room at a terrific speed.
"Aaughh!! What're you doing?" the bartender yelled.
"I told you I'd make my own, and I did. I made a wight rush in."
Daniel
He pulled a tiny silver bell, inscribed with eldritch symbols, out of his pocket and rang it. Immediately, a rotting warrior ran into the room at a terrific speed.
"Aaughh!! What're you doing?" the bartender yelled.
"I told you I'd make my own, and I did. I made a wight rush in."
Daniel
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