D&D 5E Survivor Core Classes- Fighter Wins!

[Lanefan]

It was a near-run thing as to which of Ronni or Keyes managed to be the first to facepalm after this latest disaster; but facepalm they both most surely did, in that I-can't-believe-what-I-just-saw-but-boy-am-I-glad-I-saw-it sort of way. Their eyes then met in a minor symphony of greed, and a couple of quick secret-guild-signals sent Ronni darting to the window: "Oh look, is that more goblins coming?!"

All heads turned. Well, all heads turned except Keyes' head, which was busy - along with the rest of her - in quickly removing the Girdle of Giant Strength from a sorcerer who really wasn't going to be needing it any more, thus removing him from the picture entirely. She then went to the window: "Bah, there's nothing there. You must have been seeing things." to which Ronni - knowing from this signal that Keyes had succeeded - replied "Yeah, you're probably right. Sorry folks, false alarm - moonshadows from the trees in the breeze, I guess."

The two sneaks then moved off to one side and carried on a coded conversation mostly revolving around how much they could possibly squeeze out of Foghorn for the Girdle and then how risky it might be to then steal it back from him later....

Bard (Balustrade) 50gp and FIVE—GOLD—RINGS!
Cleric (Sister Jericho) 15gp
Druid (Moss The Mystic) 17gp
Fighter (Foghorn) 51gp and Mr Choppy-Chop the Magic Battleaxe
Gucci & Ze Goblins (12, collectively) 7 gp, 1 pp
Ranger (Granger) 12gp
Rogue (Ronni) 9gp 3pp and see Thief below
Pala-Tavern Keeper-Din (Roland Butter) 13gp
- - - Mimic (Gobblet, hench to P-TK-D) 3gp
Thief (Keyes) 30 gp, a Secret Map, a Handkerchief of Folding, and a Girdle of Giant Strength (Storm; co-owned with Ronni)
Wizard (Book) 5gp

 

[rgoodbb]

Moss the Mystic was still a druid at heart and decided to cast Awaken on Gobblet the Mimic at the very same time as Granger the Stranger Danger Ranger decided to call for his beast companion. In a non-influxation of intra-extra-ultra-mantra-meta-mini-maxi-micro dicota-clasmic existentialism…...........….Nothing happened.

“Buuuuuuuurp!”

Everyone turned towards Gobblet.

“What?” She replied irritably.

“You av jurst eaten ze Ranjer. Eez zat not stronge?” enquired Gucci.

“I’ve had Stranger, luv. Ha! Stra..no? Really?.....Anyone?...............pffffft. C’mere…….sluuuurp.” Replied Gobblet, now awake and very hungry.

Pala-Tavern Keeper-Din was now expressing decidedly edgy signals………..




Bard (Balustrade) 50gp and FIVE—GOLD—RINGS!
Cleric (Sister Jericho) 15gp
Druid (Moss The Mystic) 17gp
Fighter (Foghorn) 51gp and Mr Choppy-Chop the Magic Battleaxe
Gucci & Ze Goblins (STILL AMAZINGLY 12, collectively) 7 gp, 1 pp
Ranger (Granger) 0gp
Rogue (Ronni) 9gp 3pp and see Thief below
Pala-Tavern Keeper-Din (Roland Butter) 13gp
Mimic (Gobblet, NO LONGER hench to P-TK-D, BUT FULLY AWAKENED) 15gp
Thief (Keyes) 30 gp, a Secret Map, a Handkerchief of Folding, and a Girdle of Giant Strength (Storm; co-owned with Ronni)
Wizard (Book) 5gp

 

[Redthistle]

A sigh was heard coming from a ceiling corner on the far side of the room. Long the record holder for overly long, odd terms, the spirit of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious recognized that a new champion had emerged. Intra-extra-ultra-mantra-meta-mini-maxi-micro dicota-clasmic existentialism had claimed that crown. Seeking to drown its sorrows, "Supey" drifted over to the bar, and sank itself into the barrel of cheap lager that Roland kept on hand for the goblins.

This had the unintended consequence of drastically raising the alcoholic content of the lager, and shortly after that, the alcoholic content of Gucci & Ze Goblins.

The goblin quadruplets, Toobids, Forbids, Sickkids, and Dont-holler, the owner-operators of an auction house, had recently acquired a case of cigars of such dubious quality that they had been unable to unload them. After some squabbling, they decided they might as well smoke them, since there was no chance of gaining a profit on them. They were exhaling quite a miasma of spirit-laden fumes, however, and lighting a match set off a fiery explosion in their midst. The blast singed off all of their eye-lashes and eye-brows.

What great fun!

In a moment, they had scattered around the room, lighting matches and belching to "entertain" the other patrons, returning to the bar frequently to refuel until their drinking money was all spent, excluding the platinum piece they couldn't free from Gucci's stubborn grasp.

What could go wrong?

I mean, besides Book's spellbooks? Flammable.

Likewise, the sheets of musical scores that Balustrade had been furiously scribbling on, trying to find some way to crunch "Intra-extra-ultra-mantra-meta-mini-maxi-micro dicota-clasmic existentialism" into the rhyming metric of a certain song from the Mary Poppins musical that had just lost its most iconic primary lyric. Flammable.

Moss's beard. Flammable (and quite a surprise to Moss that was, since that beard was merely a psychic illusion).

Sister Jericho, with an eye to the convent's building fund, solicited "donations" in exchange for healing magic.

Bard (Balustrade) 49gp and FIVE—GOLD—RINGS!
Cleric (Sister Jericho) 18gp
Druid (Moss The Mystic) 16gp
Fighter (Foghorn) 51gp and Mr Choppy-Chop the Magic Battleaxe
Gucci & Ze Goblins (STILL AMAZINGLY 12, collectively) 0 gp, 1 pp
Rogue (Ronni) 9gp 3pp and see Thief below
Pala-Tavern Keeper-Din (Roland Butter) 20gp
Mimic (Gobblet, NO LONGER hench to P-TK-D, BUT FULLY AWAKENED) 15gp
Thief (Keyes) 30 gp, a Secret Map, a Handkerchief of Folding, and a Girdle of Giant Strength (Storm; co-owned with Ronni)
Wizard (Book) 4gp

 

[BoldItalic]

After disgorging the Ranger, Gobblet had retreated to a corner under the bar, disguised herself as a beer barrel and sat there feeling unhappy. She was accustomed to the goblins and they didn't taste too bad even when they set themselves on fire, but she wasn't used to all these other people who were a bit like her former master but not the same and kept doing strange things that she didn't understand yet. Being awakened was horrible. Now she knew she didn't understand things and that was worse than blissful ignorance. One of the strange people was making singing noises and twanging something that made her ears hurt. She knew that one. It was the one who stole her rings. Hunger washed over her in waves. EAT she thought. EAT, EAT.

Gobblet re-arranged herself to look like an accordion and sidled up to Balustrade, looking for all the world as if she was smiling. "Aw, she wants you to play with her, isn't that sweet?" murmured Book.

"Zis is somezing like eet," exclaimed Gucci through a haze of smoke, "la musique de l'accordéon eez tres, 'ow you say, good." All the other goblins stamped their feet, waved their cigars and applauded, encouraging the Bard to play the instrument. Which, of course, he did, because who can resist an appreciative audience?

And while he was playing a jolly jig and everyone was dancing wildly, no-one noticed that Gobblet had extruded a tiny hand and carefully taken the Bard's pouch from his belt. EAT, EAT.

"For my next trick," announced Balustrade while he has the audience's attention, "I shall require the assistance of a young lady with a handherchief." So, of course, Keyes stepped up and provided The Handkerchief, which was currently folding itself into the shape of an origami rabbit. "Watch very carefully," said the Bard, making flourishes with the handkerchief that might have been Somatic but you weren't sure, and Keyes vanished, so they probably were. There was a round of applause, he made another flourish with what had now become an origami elephant, and Keyes re-appeared looking worried. She might well look worried, because Balustrade was now wearing the Girdle of Giant Strength and she wasn't.

"Drinks all round for everyone," called Balustrade, "I'm just stepping outside for a moment," whereupon he did a runner and headed for the next town before anyone caught up with him, taking the Girdle and Handkerchief with him.¹

SMUG thought Gobblet, savouring the taste of gold and the ring-iness of the rings she was digesting. SMUG, SMUG. EAT. As she gradually relaxed into something like a table but not quite, she noticed one of the people-things staring at her fixedly but in a comforting sort of way. She sidled over to Moss and looked hopeful. FRIEND? she asked.

Meanwhile, Foghorn and Book were having a lovers' tiff. "I saw you," shouted Book furiously, "staring at that other woman with your mouth open! Well, she can have you! I'm finished with men!" "But, honey, ..." protested Foghorn. "Don't honey me, you loudmouthed apology for a worm!" she retorted, then cast a Minor Illusion on him to give him a false beard and a bright orange nose, before flouncing out of the tavern screeching "Mother was right!" and flying off into the distance.

"Ah, mon ami, you 'andle zat like a man," nodded Gucci approvingly, "'Ere, zis is yours, I believe," and he handed over the platinum piece that Foghorn had earlier given to Book but which had subsequently changed hands several times. "Ze next time, you keep ze monnaie, hunh?" Then, gathering up the ozzer goblins he declared "Viens, mon frères, ze entairtainmente iz over, let us return to our forêt!"


Cleric (Sister Jericho) 18gp
Druid (Moss The Mystic) 16gp
Fighter (Foghorn) 51gp, 1pp and Mr Choppy-Chop the Magic Battleaxe
Rogue (Ronni) 9gp 3pp
Pala-Tavern Keeper-Din (Roland Butter) 20gp
Mimic (Gobblet) 65gp and the juices of FIVE—GOLD—RINGS!
Thief (Keyes) 30 gp, and a Secret Map


¹ Balustrade prospered as a circus performer, going under the name of Stombolini the Singing Strongman. In later years bought his own tavern which he called the Girdle and Handkerchief but he would never explain to anyone why he chose that name for it. We know, though, don't we?

 

[rgoodbb]

Wow mass murder in one post.

Book
Balustrade
Gucci and 11 goblins

You are merciless.

 

[BoldItalic]

Wow mass murder in one post.

Book
Balustrade
Gucci and 11 goblins

You are merciless.

Merciless? Moi? You know how it is, when characters start writing themselves. All those people thought they were leaving of their own accord, but is that likely? All at once, suddenly? Seems to me that Mystic Moss has been flexing a few mental muscles. And have you noticed how Moss is using Gobblet? Not exactly altruistic, is it?

If anyone can stop Moss, it may have to be the Cleric or possibly the P-T-K-D. See what you can do, eh? Unless you want Druid/Mystic to win. I'm okay with that, if you do.

 

[rgoodbb]

Gobblet was on a roll. She had 5 rings.
2 were golden and lovely, but mundane and had now melded into her. The other three however:
1 Cursed Ring of Invisibility
1 Ring of Three Dishes
1 Ring-garring of Roses

It was time to make this tavern her own thought Gobblet. In fact Gobblet was his name for her. No more. She would now and forever more be feared and known to the world as………............. Brenda.

Brenda activated her ring of Three Dishes. Now unlike a Ring of Three Wishes, once you chose a dish, you could conjure it up any time but that was one of your three choices. She had to choose wisely. Brenda thought about her captor/keeper, nodded in a way only a mimic can, and made her choice: Mephistopheles’ Molten Madras. She conjured a big cooking pot of it and rested it on her table-top self.

The exquisite aroma hit Pala-Tavern Keeper-Din (Roland Butter) first and he had to tuck-in straight away. Being cooked personally by (5 star chef) Mephistopheles, the curry was of course immoral and soon activated a devotion-melt-down within its consumer.

Ronni also had some, but used to the heat, and having a wavy moral compass, she ate the curry and turned a crimson colour. Roni the Rogue changed into Ronni the Rouge, a common mistake for many a PC.

Cleric (Sister Jericho) 18gp
Druid (Moss the Mystic) 16gp
Fighter (Foghorn) 51gp, 1pp and Mr Choppy-Chop the Magic Battleaxe
Rouge (Ronni) 9gp 3pp
Pala-Tavern Keeper-Din (Roland Butter) 0gp
Mimic (Brenda) 85gp and 3 magic rings
Thief (Keyes) 30 gp, and a Secret Map

 

[Lanefan]

Sister Jericho, possessed as she was of about 95% of the room's collective wisdom and also still among the somewhat sober, slowly let go the breath she'd been holding for quite some time as - be it ever so temporarily - the danger level in the room eased off a bit. The goblins had left, as had about half the other unstable occupants of the place, and the smell of danger had been replaced by the smell of curry and spices...all was good. Or at least Neutral.

Except...except...that Ronni person was reacting rather oddly to the curry dish, almost as if the serving had come with its own built-in colour cantrip. "This can't be right", she thought.

Being a perceptive sort, it was also starting to occur to her that there was something strange going on with the furniture in here - beyond its simply being slowly dismantled into kindling as the night went on - in that a table had appeared where no table was before. "This can't be right, either", she thought.

And then, on seeing that the colour-cantrip-curry dish just happened to be on the same table that wasn't there before, in a flash she realized that the danger in the room had not lessened at all; in fact it had increased! Not bothering to try and explain anything (and knowing that to do so would take all night and several dozen thread posts) she grabbed Mr. Choppy-Chop from Foghorn and set about whaling away on the table. Her suspicions were confirmed when instead of simply turning into kindling the "table" soon became a goopy mass; and better yet, a goopy mass exuding coins and rings!

She managed to grab some. Keyes and Ronni, never shy about looting the fallen as well as the still-standing, managed to grab some. And Foghorn, through an alcoholic daze, retrieved Mr. Choppy Chop while wondering how it had got to where it had got to.

And Moss just bided his time, watched, and waited.......

Cleric (Sister Jericho) 47gp and a Cursed Ring of Invisibility
Druid (Moss the Mystic) 16gp
Fighter (Foghorn) 51gp, 1pp and Mr Choppy-Chop the Magic Battleaxe
Rouge (Ronni) 37gp 3pp and a Ring of Three Dishes
Mimic (Brenda) 00gp which in this case would be better spelled g00p
Thief (Keyes) 58 gp, a Secret Map and a Ring-garring of Roses

 

[Redthistle]

Ronni also had some, but used to the heat, and having a wavy moral compass, she ate the curry and turned a crimson colour. Roni the Rogue changed into Ronni the Rouge, a common mistake for many a PC.

OMG - Gobblet rouged the rogue!

Don't you hate it when that happens?

 

[rgoodbb]

OMG - Gobblet rouged the rogue!

Don't you hate it when that happens?

And it's always in the drive-throughs.

They Rouge you in the drive-throughs, They Rouge you in the drive-throughs man!