Team Baldy's Tales From The OBO-ESRD Tavern! (Calling Hypersmurf)

[Hypersmurf]

Hamm whips his harmonica back out, and leaps straight into the rousing chorus of the popular reel, 'Gonna Gut Me a Goblin', hopping up on a nearby table for greater visibility.

DM:
[sblock]Inspire Courage, for +1 to attack and weapon damage rolls for all the inn's patron's, thanks.[/sblock]

 

[Lazlow]

Round one - FIGHT!

Pure chaos erupts in the tavern as one of the goblin inflitrators (G6) callously clubs an unarmed patron with the pommel of his sword and laughs as this person crumples to the ground with a cry. The goblin (g1) standing in front of the seated half-orc lunges forward with a cackle, but his blade is turned aside by the steel plates of the gruff warrior's armor.

Karjanga, drawing out her greataxe, lets loose a battle cry and, miraculously finding a beeline through the patrons and tables to the larger group of goblins (OOC: Good eye!), separates that same goblin's (G1) torso from his pesky legs; the upper half of his body falls to the ground with a sickening thud, his lifeless eyes wide in surprise.

A bellowing roar erupts from the bar and suddenly Sunderkeg is standing on top of the bar with a well-worn ugrosh in his hands. "You picked the wrong bar, you filthy mongrels!" he yells as he leaps from the bar to the table directly in front of him and raises his weapon above his head. Upon seeing this, two of the goblins on the east side of the bar (G5 & G7) give each other worried looks and back away momentarily.

The filthy conspiracy-minded dwarf leaps from his seat at the table and, seemingly without regard for his own safety, charges straight at one of the villians (G6). Shocked, the goblin lands a feeble blow, nicking the dwarf's hand, but, being blocked by tables, chairs, and patrons, has nowhere to go and is summarily knocked to the ground as the dwarf barrels over him.

The cleaner, previously insulted dwarf charges into the fray: Pulling out a huge waraxe of dwarven make, he rounds the table between him and the nearest goblin (G7) and with a finely executed upstroke, quickly relieves the vile creature of its left arm and head.

Overturning the table in front of him, the heavily-armored half-orc steps backward out of his seat, a litany of vulgar oaths dripping off his lips. Drawing himself up to his full height, he draws his longsword and stares down the back-stabbing goblin (G2) - who responds by immediately soiling himself and the floor beneath him.

At this time, one of the goblins (G4) decides he's had enough and bolts for the door, knocking over patrons and tables as he makes his way over there. The soiled goblin (G2) tries to take a step backwards, but slips on his own filth and falls over backward, his sword falling from his hands with a clatter. Seeing his comrade split in half, another goblin (G3) curses in his native tongue and slashes at Karjanga but misses by a country mile. On the other side of the room, an altogether braver goblin (G5) thinks he can go toe-to-toe with Sunderkeg and moves in to strike - but as he closes, the burly tavernkeeper's foot shoots out like a bolt of leathery lightning and snaps the goblin's head back with a sickening crack. The goblin crumples to the floor in an ignominious heap.

At the door, Hamm pulls out his trusty harmonica as he leaps to a nearby table, and, bursting into song, imbues his erstwhile companions with courage and valor courtesy of an old arse-whoopin' tune.

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OOC: Agrajag, take 1 pt of damage. Karjanga gets the Awesome Overkill award, doing 3.6 times more damage than necessary... Nice way to start out an adventure, eh? Jarlaxale comes in a close second, doing 3.2 times more damage than was needed.

Of course... They're just goblins.

 

[Hypersmurf]

"Might I point out," Hamm calls from atop his table, "the goblin threatened the town, not merely the inn. Ought we perhaps to check if there are more scattered throughout the rest of the settlement?"

 

[DrZombie]

The half-orc savagely hacks at the nearest goblin. At the words of the bard he looks up.
"Hextors' Rod up my Backside. A bard who talks sense. Amazing."
He brushes of his fallen cigar, relights it, straps on his shield, puts on his helmet and starts to get out of the tavern. He picks up the scattered weapons of the goblins, handing 'em out to random villagers. "This is the pointy end. Try to stick it in a goblin. Pull yourself together, man, we won't be around forever. Grow a spine, will you."

 

[Lazlow]

Not over yet... Round two!

OOC: (There are still four goblins left...) T=Tim; sorry Agrajag, I forgot that you had already revealed your character's name.

Here are everyone's positions for this round:


- Karjanga didn't make it up onto the table because she was busy cleaving the goblin in front of it in twain (but that's okay, since DrZombie's character flipped the table over anyway); the goblin next to you (G3) attacked you last round (and missed).
- DrZombie, your guy is looming next a prone (and befouled) goblin (G2) who is basically stunned for the round. (Per your last post, you'll attack him this round. And sorry, but I don't have an icon for an overturned table, so we'll have to use our imagination...)
- Goblin G4 is trying to run away.
- Tim is standing over the goblin he knocked down - he's either going to try and get up or scoot away, which will give you an attack of opportunity, let me know what you want to do (either grapple, punch him, or draw your weapon to attack).
- Jarlaxale, you're standing in front of the goblin you sliced in two.
- Hamm, you're up on that table singing.

Actions?

 

[DrZombie]

The half-orc stabs at the prone and stunned goblin, then, snatching a flagon of ale on the way, walks over to the next stil-standin gobbo to give some justice

 

[Isida Kep'Tukari]

Karjanga continues to lay about her with her axe, slashing furiously at the goblin in front of her.

OOC - G3 goin' down!

 

[Agrajag]

Tim revels in his furious kick to the goblin flat on the ground cackling maniacally in great bliss that one of many of the goblins spread throughout the land will be beaten to a pulp by the all mighty dwarf "Bwahahahaha, taste the fury of my extremity you degenerarte little demon"

 

[Jarlaxale]

I look at the fallen goblin and smile, but was cut short when I see a tiny drop of goblin blood inching torwards my boots. I scurry to get away from the goblin blood and join Tim, and tell him "Well what are you waiting for!"

 

[Lazlow]

Round Two - FIGHT!

One of the fallen goblins (G6) tries to scurry away, but a quick foot to the back of the head from the filthy Dwarf looming over it sends it back to the ground with a thud. A dark ichor rushes out from its nose, but it turns over to look at you and pathetically beg for mercy.

Karjanga sends her huge blade through another deadly arc and suddenly the goblin in front of her (G3) is a foot shorter. Or a head shorter, as the case may be.

Leaping down from the table, Sunderkeg swings his ugrosh down with the full power of his leap, burying it at least half a foot into the wooden floor below. Unfortunately for the goblin that was laying there (G6), that part of the floor was directly below his throat, and it expires without further ado.

Tim stands startled as he sees a large Dwarven blade whiz a hair's breadth past his head and land in the goblin's neck, mere inches from his own foot.

The remaining Dwarf scurries away from the goblin gore on the ground and yells, "Well, what are you waiting for?"

Almost as an afterthought, the grizzly half-orc skewers his opponent (G2) with little effort as he picks up a flagon of ale and starts to make his way over toward the last remaining beast (G4), shaking the now-dead goblin off of his blade with a deft twist of his wrist.

...And the last standing goblin (G4), seeing what has become of his companions, continues to panic. Seeing Hamm close by the door, he knocks aside a patron, scampers up on top of the table nearest him and dives out the nearby window.

That is to say, he would have dove out the window, had it not been for the bars across it. He collapses to the ground in a filthy, stinking heap, unconcious.

"Heh-hey!" Sunderkeg says with a slap on his knee. "I knew those bars were worth the investment." He tosses his weapon back to Muirna behind the bar (who catches it easily) and makes his way over to the unconcious creature.

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OOC: Note to self - stronger monsters...