payn
I don't believe in the no-win scenario
Depending on how you look at it, one of the biggest issues with 3E/PF was taking background, skills, and combat options and putting them all in the same bucket to compete (feats). This put the adventure game and the role playing game against each other instead of allowing them to live in tandem. PF2 separated the buckets, but then turned background and skills into a gamey system like combat so it might work better for some than others as an answer to the perceived problem.The groups I run are much more on the Roleplaying side rather than the Adventure side because I find character comes out of personality, needs, wants, desires, rather than numbers. That's part of the reason why 3E and Pathfinder's "options" are to me the biggest misnomer there is. "Options" I can select to make my numbers bigger are not helping me to "define" my character or "play" my character.
My Pathfinder character I'm currently playing has selected as his last four feats Dodge, Toughness, Iron Will, and Arcane Strike. Thus... my ability to "create the character I wanted" raised my AC by 1, my HP by a half-dozen, my Fortitude save by 2, and my weapon damage by 1. That's it. A bunch of numbers got bumped up. But now that I've written these numbers down on my sheet... I completely forget while I'm playing that my character is supposedly tougher and can dodge, and his weapon is slightly magical. Why? Because all of those bigger numbers could have come from dozens of different sources, so there's literally no difference between me taking the Dodge feat or me just using a larger shield. No matter which way I went, my "character" is in no ways different as a person, just the number is higher.
And since so much of the Adventure part of the game is just adding and subtracting numbers, that "board game" aspect of D&D certainly has a place, but I just don't hang my hat on it. Because I find there to be dozens of better "board games" out there that I could play instead if the Adventure was all I cared about... and it's only the Roleplaying layered on top of the board game that makes D&D what it is.
This is what I was getting at as to the impact of system on the gamers at the table. I know some folks have been at this for a very long time and their group all gets exactly what they want, but in my experience thats rare and you should be super thankful.