The Derp Snake

[mellored]

No no no no... Your suggestion affects the character.

DERPED is a condition that affects *the player*. What are you going to do, give your players a concussion? I don't know about you, but where I live, that's assault! But you can make your player roll a d12 without going to jail

The player cannot cast spells, activate magic items, look at any dice rolls, and can only communicate by saying 'derp'.

 

[Eltab]

The player cannot cast spells, activate magic items, look at any dice rolls, and can only communicate by saying 'derp'.

Since the player has his INT back, he can find a Morse Code chart, and communicate by repeating "derp" in the proper rhythm and with properly-spaced pauses.

To Save: Compose a very long discussion you want to have with the DM (perhaps about finding a cure for the condition) and launch into it when he would rather be doing something else - like eating pizza or getting a refill on his drink.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Since the player has his INT back, he can find a Morse Code chart, and communicate by repeating "derp" in the proper rhythm and with properly-spaced pauses.

Sounds like exactly the kind of skilled, concentration-requiring activity that being derped would interfere with...

 

[mellored]

Since the player has his INT back, he can find a Morse Code chart, and communicate by repeating "derp" in the proper rhythm and with properly-spaced pauses.

To Save: Compose a very long discussion you want to have with the DM (perhaps about finding a cure for the condition) and launch into it when he would rather be doing something else - like eating pizza or getting a refill on his drink.

I would consider cellphones, laptops, and cars to be magical devices.

So that's a plot hook to go on a quest to the library and find the right book out of hundreds or possibly thousands. (can't ask the librarian or use their computer). Could be pretty tricky.

 

[CM]

Permanently crossed eyes, and general clumsiness, giving disadvantage on Perception checks and Dex checks.

Edit: Didn't read the OP, oops.

Player re-rolls secret initiative each round, but doesn't know when they go until their turn comes up.

 

[Ancalagon]

... I don't know if I should have posted this on april's fools or not