The difficulties of finding a game
- Thread starter Lord Zardoz
- Start date
Undoubtedly, finding the right people (or, sometimes, even any people) can be challenging.
However, in order to actually get a game together, you may need to change your expectation on "playing regularly." I too, recall, being in high school and college, and being able to play on a weekly (or more) basis. For a lot of people in the "real world", a weekly game just isn't realistically possible, even if they're dedicated to the game.
I'm in my early 40s; most of the players in my two regular groups are in their 30s to 50s. Great players all, and all of them dedicated to good, ongoing games. Nonetheless, getting schedules to mesh more frequently than once a month or so (and sometimes even less, especially during the summer) just doesn't happen. Families, kids, jobs, and other hobbies all have to be scheduled around. Even so, when we do play, we have a blast, and our games have been going on for quite a while (one group for over a decade, the other for over three years).
The other thing I've noted, reading these boards, and threads like yours, for a while now, is that one of the hardest groups to get to "commit" to a game are 20-somethings. When you're young, single, and have some money, there's just a lot of other (and, frankly, more exciting) things you can spend your evenings and weekends doing. You might have better luck trying to find some gamers who are a little older than yourself, and a little less interested in spending their Saturday nights out at the singles bars.
However, in order to actually get a game together, you may need to change your expectation on "playing regularly." I too, recall, being in high school and college, and being able to play on a weekly (or more) basis. For a lot of people in the "real world", a weekly game just isn't realistically possible, even if they're dedicated to the game.
I'm in my early 40s; most of the players in my two regular groups are in their 30s to 50s. Great players all, and all of them dedicated to good, ongoing games. Nonetheless, getting schedules to mesh more frequently than once a month or so (and sometimes even less, especially during the summer) just doesn't happen. Families, kids, jobs, and other hobbies all have to be scheduled around. Even so, when we do play, we have a blast, and our games have been going on for quite a while (one group for over a decade, the other for over three years).
The other thing I've noted, reading these boards, and threads like yours, for a while now, is that one of the hardest groups to get to "commit" to a game are 20-somethings. When you're young, single, and have some money, there's just a lot of other (and, frankly, more exciting) things you can spend your evenings and weekends doing. You might have better luck trying to find some gamers who are a little older than yourself, and a little less interested in spending their Saturday nights out at the singles bars.
JRRNeiklot
First Post
I, too, find it hard to find a game. Our current group consists of 3 people. Not much fun there. I cannot imagine why people can't find 4 hours out of a week to play a game. I saw the same thing when I was playing competitive softball. Every game, someone wouldn't show for some reason or other. Usually irrelevant crap, too. I know emergencies come up, but blowing off the game, whether it's D&D, Softball, Monopoly, or Hide and Seek just to watch Buffy or defrag your hard drive is just plain inconsiderate. You're not only ruining your fun, but everyone elses, too.
Lord Zardoz
Explorer
Kenobi65, I agree with pretty much everything you have said. Thats why I stated my observations on this topic as the first post in this thread I more than aware of the reasons for my current set of difficulties in finding and maintaining a game.
I know as well as anyone that being dedicated to playing in a game does not mean you can continue to do so. Both of my previous games were killed by stretches of overtime at work. And I am very much a realist, and acknoweldge that other people are very likley to have demands on their time that prevent them from playing in a game, even if they want to.
While I have no objection to playing with gamers in their 30's and 40's, the problem there is the same for me as playing with gamers in their 20's. In my last game, my boss was one of the players, and he was in his early 40's.
My own problem at the moment is quite specific. The first part is that I have recently moved, and essentially do not know anyone. That problem will eventually solve its self. The second problem is that I am impatient, and really craving a game. That is a problem ceated entirely by my own state of mind.
At the moment, I think that my best chance for finding a game will be to keep my eyes open for the next gamer convention that takes place in Ottawa, and simply show up and play. At the worst case scenario, at least I will get a couple nights of one shot gaming in.
Of course, none of the above changes the fact that I am fixing for a game right now, and utterly lack the means to make one come to pass.
END COMMUNICATION
I more than aware of the reasons for my current set of difficulties in finding and maintaining a game.I know as well as anyone that being dedicated to playing in a game does not mean you can continue to do so. Both of my previous games were killed by stretches of overtime at work. And I am very much a realist, and acknoweldge that other people are very likley to have demands on their time that prevent them from playing in a game, even if they want to.
While I have no objection to playing with gamers in their 30's and 40's, the problem there is the same for me as playing with gamers in their 20's. In my last game, my boss was one of the players, and he was in his early 40's.
My own problem at the moment is quite specific. The first part is that I have recently moved, and essentially do not know anyone. That problem will eventually solve its self. The second problem is that I am impatient, and really craving a game. That is a problem ceated entirely by my own state of mind.
At the moment, I think that my best chance for finding a game will be to keep my eyes open for the next gamer convention that takes place in Ottawa, and simply show up and play. At the worst case scenario, at least I will get a couple nights of one shot gaming in.
Of course, none of the above changes the fact that I am fixing for a game right now, and utterly lack the means to make one come to pass.
END COMMUNICATION
Shadowslayer
Explorer
I had a hard time for quite a while. Posted here as a couple others mentioned, and also on the WOTC site. Only advice I'll add is to stay at it. Work on your game world, or flesh out one of your favorite areas, or create NPCs. Keep checking back on your want ads, even beyond the first week. (or make it so you're notified by email whenever someone responds) Guys will reply sooner or later.
I was feeling pretty hopeless, (about this time last year actually) I'd been trying for so long and had really only met a couple of weirdos. But sooner or later the responses will come. I have a pretty good group now! (actually it was the WOTC board that nailed it)
Also, if you're having a hard time finding players, then finally get some, it kind of helps to lower your expectations a bit with regard to playing style. Let the group find its own groove, and don't artificially force anything. (I've never seen that actually work anyway)
Thats it for now.
Good luck
I was feeling pretty hopeless, (about this time last year actually) I'd been trying for so long and had really only met a couple of weirdos. But sooner or later the responses will come. I have a pretty good group now! (actually it was the WOTC board that nailed it)
Also, if you're having a hard time finding players, then finally get some, it kind of helps to lower your expectations a bit with regard to playing style. Let the group find its own groove, and don't artificially force anything. (I've never seen that actually work anyway)
Thats it for now.
Good luck
Treebore
First Post
I'm lucky. Even though i live in the middle of no where with the closest playing group about 54 miles away, my family plays. My wife and daughter even DM as well. So I run Castles and Crusades and Traveller and my wife and daughter run 3E. My 12 year old son wants to DM, and he has really good ideas, but I told him he had to learn a lot about DMing before I would let him.
I'll be glad when he is finally ready, though. He wants to run Rokugan, L5R, and BESM Tri-Stat. He is intimidated with all the rules he needs to learn. Maybe in a year or two.
But outside of that, I know what your saying. I would like to find a group outside of my family, just for the "break" and getting to know others. I know there has got to be players in Douglas, Bisby, Tombstone, Sunsites, etc... but they don't exactly fly flags out their front doors saying they are gamers, and apparently none of them go on line to this site or WOTC's to see if anyone is looking for a game.
So I'm not going to find anyone anytime soon, if ever. At least I do have my family, and we are racking up a lot of good memories, especially now that it is summer. We've been gaming about every other day since May 5th.
Still wish I could find another group for me, and then another one for my kids. My wife isn't interested in playing outside our family. She only games for two reasons: she enjoys writing stories, and she enjoys the family time. Mostly the family time.
Maybe I'll get lucky soon. Hope you do to.
I'll be glad when he is finally ready, though. He wants to run Rokugan, L5R, and BESM Tri-Stat. He is intimidated with all the rules he needs to learn. Maybe in a year or two.
But outside of that, I know what your saying. I would like to find a group outside of my family, just for the "break" and getting to know others. I know there has got to be players in Douglas, Bisby, Tombstone, Sunsites, etc... but they don't exactly fly flags out their front doors saying they are gamers, and apparently none of them go on line to this site or WOTC's to see if anyone is looking for a game.
So I'm not going to find anyone anytime soon, if ever. At least I do have my family, and we are racking up a lot of good memories, especially now that it is summer. We've been gaming about every other day since May 5th.
Still wish I could find another group for me, and then another one for my kids. My wife isn't interested in playing outside our family. She only games for two reasons: she enjoys writing stories, and she enjoys the family time. Mostly the family time.
Maybe I'll get lucky soon. Hope you do to.
The_Gunslinger658
First Post
Hi-
If you do form a group, and lose players over time, look for players yourself, do not allow the other players to bring their buddies into the game. I made that mistake and ended up losing the group to another guy who just wanted to DM and his freinds whom had different views of how to RP.
Never thought I would expaireince a coup in an RPG group.
Scott
If you do form a group, and lose players over time, look for players yourself, do not allow the other players to bring their buddies into the game. I made that mistake and ended up losing the group to another guy who just wanted to DM and his freinds whom had different views of how to RP.
Never thought I would expaireince a coup in an RPG group.
Scott
takasi
First Post
Have you tried Meetup.com?
According to the site, there are 71 D&D players in Ottawa with Meetup accounts:
http://dnd.meetup.com/cities/ca/on/ottawa/
According to the site, there are 71 D&D players in Ottawa with Meetup accounts:
http://dnd.meetup.com/cities/ca/on/ottawa/
Lord Zardoz
Explorer
Intresting link
I will give this link a shot. Thanks.
END COMMUNICATION
takasi said:
I will give this link a shot. Thanks.
END COMMUNICATION
Similar Threads
