The difficulties of finding a game

[Shadowslayer]

I personally think that the Internet is a great tool for finding potential games, but using that method pretty much opens you up to the magical world of "Meeting Strangers over the Internet", which has an even money chance into turning into a horror story as it does of succeeding.

Well yes, but "even money" means 50/50. So its just as likely to be a success as a nightmare.

When someone responds, invite him out for a coffee and see if anything clicks. (and try to find something in common besides gaming) If he's the sort of guy you could see yourself hanging out with then great. If not, you blew a buck for a coffee and a half hour's time. Yeah you'll meet some oddballs, but so what? No one said you have to game with everyone who responds.

So yes, it really IS like running a singles ad. Just remember that there's lots of stories about people who were successful going that route. "Meeting strangers over the internet" sometimes DOES have a happy ending.

I know it sounds hokey, but really, if you take the attitude that you just want to meet some new friends, (friends first, game later) then you'll be successful if you keep at it.

 

[takasi]

When someone responds, invite him out for a coffee

Or preferably invite him to a tavern for some ale. Hey, it works in game, right?

 

[Hussar]

Another option is always programs like Fantasy Grounds or OpenRPG. Finding an online chat game isn't all that difficult either as a player or as a DM.

So speaks the guy who's the only native English speaker for about 50 kilometers.

 

[delericho]

Yeah, finding a game is a problem.

Part of the problem is that a lot of groups are a bunch of friends who have gamed together for years, play in one of their homes, have no web presence, and are not particularly looking for new members. So, there might be a group meeting in your neighbours' house, and you might not even know (okay, that's a bit extreme). This is part of the reason why I think chat-based games will gradually supplant face-to-face as the norm.

Sadly, I have no advice on how to solve your problem. If you hit on a strategy that's sure to succeed, let me know.

 

[3catcircus]

Be Flexible...

The best advice I have is to be flexible.

As my own personal example, I played in a fairly long (2+ yrs) game thursday nights (7:30pm ~ midnightish). I was willing to get home at 1am and put up with a lack of sleep on friday going in to saturday. Then we (the wife and I) had a child.

For a few months, I didn't game at all. I also realized that coming home at 1am was no longer an option - I wanted to be home to play with my son, participate in bath/bottle/bedtime, etc. I also realized how much I didn't like being exhausted friday and sleeping in on saturday mornings, wasting half the morning.

So, I compromised - I found a new group and we play tuesday nights until 9pm. Granted, I miss one day of not playing with my son, but I also get home at a decent hour and am not tired on the weekends. I also found a way to not feel guilty about spending time *preparing* for the weekly game. Immediately after we put the boy in his crib for the night, I stay upstairs in the computer room with the baby monitor until he is asleep - I can get game-related stuff done and my wife doesn't have to rush upstairs to calm my son if he fusses while trying to fall asleep.

Figure out what is the most important thing to you in regards to gaming. Work around it. Do you have to play on a particular day? At a particular time? At a particular location? With a particular game system? Put out ads here on ENWorld, on the WotC website, in your local FLGS. Attend RPGA gamedays or conventions if you can. Heck, even just hanging out at your FLGS can work - I once ran a game for over a year at my FLGS - I got to DM, people got to play, and the store got more business.

If you are meeting a "stranger" - meet in a non-game situation. Maybe meet at the FLGS, or meet for lunch. Make sure you discuss outside interests. Yeah, this sounds like internet dating rules, but you'll be much happier knowing that someone you want to play an rpg with isn't an unwashed 38-yr old mouth-breather living in his mom's basement and working at the local kwik-ee-mart.

Be flexible - my current game consists of me and 6 other guys ranging in age from early 20s to early 30s, blue-collar and white-collar.

Be flexible - try a PBEM or online game.

 

[Barak]

It took me a while to realize I had lucked out. Within 2 months of moving to an area in which I knew virtually no one (my wife and her family was it), I found a group willing to take on an extra player. And I've been playing with 'em for.. Of, 4-5 years now? Of course, they lucked out to, I guess, since their DM moved away 6 months after I joined, and I've been "saddled" with DMing ever since..

But experience has taught me that they are one of the very, very few gaming groups in the area in my age group.. And, really, I don't think I -could- play with a group of teenagers, so I really lucked out.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

Have you tried Meetup.com?

According to the site, there are 71 D&D players in Ottawa with Meetup accounts:

http://dnd.meetup.com/cities/ca/on/ottawa/

You beat me to it. Someone earlier also made a good point about gaming styles. I can find gamers, but when we meet, I'm always immediately turned off by their styles, and I'm sure they feel the same about mine.

 

[ColonelHardisson]

"Meeting strangers over the internet" sometimes DOES have a happy ending.

Yup, like my girlfriend and myself. Been together over two years now.

 

[Whimsical]

RPGIndex has a site registry of the various player finder sites around the web. I have had good success with AccessDenied.net, but that was back in the Seattle region. Check these sites out, then add yourself to the relevant ones.

 

[DethStryke]

Lord Zardoz, and anyone else looking for a group or more people, should do everything that has been mentioned here.

Also, try putting your *actual* location in your profile so it shows up under your name on EVERY post. The "Ninth Circle of Hell" as a location may be funny, but doesn't help you find a group at all. Think about the utility of that information before you use it as a chuckle generator or, worse yet, cliche holder. People may be laughing at your wit, but that doesn't prompt the lazy people from emailing you asking where you live. Let's face it, if you're the one looking for an opening, it's like job hunting. Make it as easy as possible for everyone else, and you'll likely get some calls.

Consider for example: LZ has his location in only Two of his five posts in this thread alone. Do you think that helps his chances? Having it in your signature, but not having your signature come up on every post does not help you

I'm the one who contacted Agent Oracle through the boards, and you know why? He had "looking for a group" in his message and had Baltimore, MD as his location. I knew everything I needed to know in that one second without sending any information.

Just my 2 cp.