The difficulties of finding a game

Lord Zardoz

Explorer
I have found that it is very difficult to find a game lately, at least for myself. This is not a new state of being, but it has persisted for some time. I already have a post in the gamers seeking gamers thread, but it has resulted in nothing thus far. There are a number of reasons for this, I think, which I have decided are worth making a thread here out of.

First, my situation is about the least ideal situation possible for finding a new game. I recrently moved from B.C. to Ottawa for a new job. It turns out (unsurprisingly to myself), that I know no one in this city (total distance of move is given as 5 119 kilometers or 3 181 miles according to google maps for those who are curious). It helps to know people who are gamers when seeking a game, so I am at a marked disadvantage. And while I could be mistaken, it appears to me that the new workplace is an exceedingly unlikely source of gamers. I will probably find out as time passes and I get to know my coworkers. But for now, I consider hunting for players at work non-viable.

However, I do not think that my situation would be signifigantly better if I were located in a city where I knew people. My difficulties with finding a stable D&D game have been rather persistant for the last 7 years or so. And I have had plenty of time to consider why this might be.

The first reason, is that having a stable D&D game has some very hard requirements. First is that you have to have about 5 people or so intrested in playing such a game. People who are intrested in this sort of activity are a minority. Part of it is just personal intrest. A larger part is the preceived social stigma (OMG GEEKS!). However, this is not a fatal requirement. Personal experience has revealed that such people do exist in sufficient numbers.

The second reason is that these people must want to play the game. Being intrested in the game is not the same as wanting to play it. Not all players are intrested enough in the game to go out of their way to play it, to the point that they may suffer some personal inconvenience. There are a large number of people who would play if it was not for the inconvenience of playing in a live game. Casual gamers ususally end up not playing the game, and they cease playing simply because of the inconvenience. For some, they play just to hang out. They would be equally happy catching a movie, or a few drinks at the bar, or playing poker as they would be in playing D&D. So while these players often join a game for a short time, they usually leave after a few games.

Now lets say you have a group of 5 people who are intrested enough in playing D&D that they are willing to suffer some measure of inconvenience. The third reason its hard to find a game is that the game is time intensive. You still need to have a large block of time to play a game. Its not because its hard to find 4 or more hours to play the game. Its because it gets very difficult for 5 players to be able to free up the 4 or more hour block of time on a regular basis.

The 2nd and 3rd reasons are the game killers, and they are a huge obstacle for people, once you are out of high school and / or university. Its easy to run a game in a school setting. Students are usually chronically broke, and have loads of free time. They are also unlikley to have any external demands on their time. Not everyone will have a girlfriend, and almost no one will have a wife and children. And when the weekend rolls around, you have no money and not much to do. So you can run a game, and the casual gamer types actually make pretty reliable gamers. They will still miss gamers, but not often enough to matter.

Now fast forward a few years. As an adult, you have a job, which is a demand on your time, and with it comes a paycheque, so you can afford to do stuff. As a starving student, you could not afford to catch a movie, so you stay in, and you can often get away with staying up late to play a game. Showing up late to class is not a huge deal, since you cannot get fired from class. But with a job, showing up late is not a reasonable thing to do. And you have a car and money, so you can go and catch a movie whenever you want. This is what makes casual gamers unreliable as regular players. They only play for entertainment, and quite often, its more entertaining to do something else at any given moment.

And for the dedicated gamers, the job factor simply pushes games to the weekend. But now you may also have a signifigant other / wife, and maybe children. These present demands on your time that cannot rationally be put off. In fact, I dont think I want to play with a gamer who lets his gaming destroy his personal relationships, since it shows a lack of basic sanity. (Yes, there are more important things then D&D. Family is one. The use of soap is another. There are plenty more).

Now, its not that family and work will keep you from gaming. Even with those factors, its not hard to free up a 4 or more hour block of time. The problem is that all 5 players need to free up the exact same block of time. For 5 people who hold different jobs, this is a feat that is difficult to pull off. But being able to do so on a regular basis is very difficult.

In the past 7 years, I was able to get 2 games running, and both lasted for a few months. Both games consisted mostly of co-workers. But when crunch time hit at work, the game ground to a halt, and then it never got going again. The same thing happened at the second job, with the only difference being that the game was even harder to get going.

Anyway, I would be intrested in finding out how many people on this board are in my situation, of wanting to play regularly but being unable to do so for whatever reason.

END COMMUNICATION
 

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I probably missed that part, but are you actually running the game, or do you want to play exclusively? Did you try to introduce your friends to D&D? And if you don't have friends, perhaps here is what you need: find friends you can enjoy things with, and then introduce them to the game?

That's what I did when I arrived to Canada. Took me two years to get there, with the friends I met almost as soon as I arrived, but ultimately they tried the game out and we are now ending our second year of campaigning. :)
 

Finding other players is, in my opinion, the #1 challenge of the hobby. The most successful technique I used was to post notices at game shops, and likewise read notices posted there. Good luck in your search!
 

Odhanan said:
I probably missed that part, but are you actually running the game, or do you want to play exclusively? Did you try to introduce your friends to D&D? And if you don't have friends, perhaps here is what you need: find friends you can enjoy things with, and then introduce them to the game?

That's what I did when I arrived to Canada. Took me two years to get there, with the friends I met almost as soon as I arrived, but ultimately they tried the game out and we are now ending our second year of campaigning. :)

I tend to end up as the DM for my games. Turns out that when your the only one who owns the books, people expect you to DM for some reason. However, I enjoy it, so being the DM is not the problem.

The finding friends who are willing to play has never been the problem. The problem is finding friends who are both willing to play and able to consistenly do so. Since I am a video game deveoper, finding people who like the game is never the problem. My current job though is at a company that does casual games mostly for the purposes of advertising. So as a result, there are not quite as many programmers, and so far no one I have gotten to know is likley to be intrested in D&D. As I said though, I could be wrong. I just need to get to know my co-workers to see if a game can take root there.

For the moment though, I have been unable to play at all for quite a while, and I think my best chances for finding a game are outside of work.

END COMMUNICATION
 

I am in a situtation similar to yours. I live in Los Angeles, a city with several million people and lots of gamers. However, I cannotblock out 6 hours every Saturday night.

I prefer my old group and our style. Three players and 1 DM meeting for three to four hours every two weeks on a Sunday afternoon. We played quickly, efficiently, and kept in touch during the downtime via e-mail and campaign logs.

I wish us both luck in finding the kind of group we need.
 

Well, i think my method of trawling for new gamers has worked quite nicely! I got myself a new gaming group in he region that i live through my siggy.
 

Well, I have a .sig noting that I am seeking a game, and a link to the relevant post in the Games seeking Gamers forum.

However, no hits so far. For the .sig thing to work, you need to post somewhat more frequently than I tend to.

Also, this thread is a pretty naked attempt at fishing for a new group also.

END COMMUNICATION
 

Lord Zardoz said:
The finding friends who are willing to play has never been the problem. The problem is finding friends who are both willing to play and able to consistenly do so.

(...) I just need to get to know my co-workers to see if a game can take root there.

For the moment though, I have been unable to play at all for quite a while, and I think my best chances for finding a game are outside of work.

END COMMUNICATION

I see better. What do you say to your coworkers when you invite them to play D&D? Do you explain you'd like to run a campaign for them, and then what a campaign is? What happens if/when you do explain? They just can't, or they don't show up to the next game?

I guess having friends outside of work that share your interests (which is a bit of a pleonasm really) would be the starting point. After a few weeks/months of socializing or more, you could approach the subject of RPG and propose a game. The difference here is that you propose the game to people who already like to socialize with you, which makes it all the easier to get them to come back every two weeks or so.
 

It took me nine months to find a D&D game in Seattle. It just means that when you finally do you'll make sure to enjoy yourself. The game I found is located 40 minutes from where I'm living so I make it a point to get the most out of the game. I can't remember the last time playing D&D I truly enjoyed myself until this.
 

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