GREETINGS AND RECRIMINATIONS!
It's been a minute .... That's right, it's time for another in the occasional series of Snarf Lays Down the Law by Presenting an Inarguable List of Greatest Things That People Will Argue With Anyway!
You might be thinking to yourself, "Self, why should I care about this list? Apple II? What is that, anyway? Is that, like, a pre-Mac?" Well, the answer to that is ... you don't have to care. I'm not the Boss of You. YET. But when I am .... MUAHAHAHAHAHA .... you'll wish you read this list. Anyway, I'm a little out of practice, but if I recall correctly, I usually post some sort of rules here.
Rules for the TOP TEN GREATEST APPLE II GAMES OF ALL TIME THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE PLAYED AND YOU WILL FEEL MOAR STUPIDER IF YOU HAVEN'T.
A. This is a list of games for the Apple II (Apple 2). Not the IBM PC. Not the Atari. Not the Commodore 64. Not the Apple IIgs. Not the Mac. Do I mean the Apple II, II+, IIc, or IIe? Yes. Yes I do.
B. By that, I mean that if the game was originally for the IBM PC, it is considered a PC game, not an Apple II game. Not eligible. But many, if not most, of these games were released on multiple platforms and that's fine.
C. I had to have played it. If a game was super awesome but I never experienced it, it just wasn't that awesome, was it?
D. When it was released counts. The heyday of the Apple II was from 1977 until the beginning of 1987 (approximately the release of the Apple IIgs). So while there were come great game released for the platform after that, I am only considering games released in the years 1978 - 1986 (inclusive). I will give a bonus to games released earlier as being "groundbreaking."
E. The list is not in order- this is just the top 10, and being #1 is not more important than being #10.
1. Karateka (1984). Words cannot explain how game-changing Karateka was for the time. This was the first game on the home computer to marry fluid animation and good (if simple) combat. Most importantly, it told a story in its game. Anyone who played it remembers it- and, like many, you likely remember what happened the first time you finally triumphed and approached the princess. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! What?
2. Beyond Castle Wolfenstein (1984). Before games went FPS, there was this gem of a game that invited you to try to win through stealth.
3. Wizardry (1981). Was Bard's Tale better? Sure. Was Might & Magic more fun? Indubitably. But Wizardry was first. It was the proof of a concept that people keep returning to- What if D&D, but on a computer?
4. Star Blazer (1981). Like Wizardry, this game pioneered a format that would be re-used and improved upon in the next few years. Choplifter might have been a better execution (and I do mean execution ... you know what happens when the hostages meet the rotors), but Star Blazer burned the trail.
5. Trinity (1986). Okay, this is a bit of a cheat. A style of game that had its greatest moments back then was the text-based adventure game, aka the Infocom game. I could have picked anything from Zork to Planetfall to Mind Forever Voyaging to Hickhicker's Guide, but I'll go with Trinity as representative of the best in the genre.
6. Aztec (1982). A stunningly original, and mostly forgotten game, from the time, it pushed the Apple 2 to the limits, and often past it, resulting in the occasional maddening glitch along with the exciting gameplay.
7. Taipan! (1982). Hey kids, do you like capitalism? Do you enjoy learning about basic economics while also absorbing some less savory lessons (.... opium always trades well, right)? A game that was both enthralling and, in retrospect, had some elements that might not be considered so savory today, it was still remarkable at the time.
8. The Bilestoad (1982). When anyone tries to sell you the ol', "Things are so much more violent today," just remember that people used to play a game where victory was achieved by chopping off the limbs of your opponent. You know, for kids!
9. Ultima I (1981). Did I like Ultima II better because time travel and humor? Do you know me ... of course I liked it better! Was Ultima III, with multiple characters, a massively better game and evolution? Yep. Is Ultima IV generally considered the best of the early games? Uh huh. But there wouldn't be any of them without Ultima I, and its success. (But Ultima II will always be tops in my heart)
10. Autoduel (1985). Fight me.
Honorable Mentions-
Archon. I LOVED this game. But it was a port from the Atari 8 bit computers.
Lode Runner. Everyone else loved it. I ... thought it was fine. Whatever.
King's Quest. Really, any of the Sierra On-Line games. I was always really meh about these.
Winter Games. Originally a C64 game.
Wasteland. 1988.
