"The Marvels" - Teaser

[Homicidal_Squirrel]

I 100% can and I will! < evil laughter >

There is a special place in Hell for people like you. You get to watch Waititi pitch new Marvel movie ideas and are forced to watch them.

Wakanda Forever and Thor 4 are absolutely 5/10 movies at best - I'd go with 4/10 myself. Are they 5/10 in different ways? Sure.

Agreed, if that is a cumulative rating. Wakanda Forever is a 5, and Thor 4 sucks.

Wakanda Forever is reasonably well-edited, has a lot of strong actors, and some good performances, but it's ditchwater-dull, showed up how Ryan Coogler can direct 1-on-1 fight scenes but absolutely not larger-scale ones, and past the genuinely emotional beginning and post-credits scene, didn't really seem to know what the hell it was about, and had a metric ton of unnecessary and boring scenes. An absolutely enervating movie.

Thor 4 was a giant, extremely enthusiastic mess, which was the worst-edited major movie I've seen in decades (I hear there are worse but... it was bad... real bad). It thought it was funny when it wasn't. It thought it was clever when it was extremely dumb. It skipped the most important story to the emotion of the movie in favour of more screaming goats or irrelevant Valkyrie scenes (why was she even in the movie except because she's part of Taika's polycule?

The editing was the least of the crimes committed by Thor 4. They took one of the best Thor comic stories and just wrecked it every possible way. Gorr's origin story was just mangled. His motivation was trashed. Suddenly everyone knew who was killing the gods and with what weapon and why he was doing it. I'm pretty sure there was no actually script, and Waititi told the actors, "Just say something really stupid." I want my money back, plus compensation for the trauma I have suffered!
And those stupid goats. I really hope someone got real goats to kick Waititi repeatedly in the nuts and it was his screams that were used in the movie.

It featured a grotesque cancer subplot, which was pretty insulting to people who've dealt with cancer, IMHO - why not make up a magic disease at least if you want it to behave like magic? But at least it had some actual energy and joi-de-vivre, which Wakanda was completely lacking.

Cancer is a magic disease in Marvel Comics. Of all the diseases in Marvel, none is as deadly as cancer. It has killed every character it touches. It has no cure. Advanced alien technologies are no match for cancer. Magic is no match for cancer. If the One Above All was diagnosed with cancer, he'd die of cancer.Also, as Staffan mentioned, it's a plot taken from the comics. Unfortunately, it's a plot taken from the comics by Waititi and given cancer, so it died an awful death on screan.

 

[Clint_L]

Okay...the film was a definite letdown from Thor 3, but it wasn't that bad. Just kinda dumb. I'd still watch it again over Eternals. At least I kind of remember Love and Thunder. The only thing I remember from Eternals is that there is now supposed to be a Madagascar-sized hand coming out of the Earth that apparently has no effects and will never be mentioned again.

Hey, maybe the Marvels will bring it up, or at least show it from up in orbit.

 

[Enevhar Aldarion]

Okay...the film was a definite letdown from Thor 3, but it wasn't that bad. Just kinda dumb. I'd still watch it again over Eternals. At least I kind of remember Love and Thunder. The only thing I remember from Eternals is that there is now supposed to be a Madagascar-sized hand coming out of the Earth that apparently has no effects and will never be mentioned again.

Hey, maybe the Marvels will bring it up, or at least show it from up in orbit.

It was referenced in a show or movie since then. Something about a source of a new, rare mineral and the impending global fight over it. I will have to Google some to try and find what I read.

But yeah, that was my one major issue with Eternals. The Earth as we know it would have never have survived the cataclysm that should have caused.

 

[Tonguez]

Okay...the film was a definite letdown from Thor 3, but it wasn't that bad. Just kinda dumb. I'd still watch it again over Eternals. At least I kind of remember Love and Thunder. The only thing I remember from Eternals is that there is now supposed to be a Madagascar-sized hand coming out of the Earth that apparently has no effects and will never be mentioned again.

Hey, maybe the Marvels will bring it up, or at least show it from up in orbit.

it was referenced in She-Hulk with news article asking why there is a giant stone statue in the middle of the ocean, it was even discussed by the UN where it is described as a stone formation.

it did cause major tsunami and earthquakes but maybe the Eternals were able to contain the worst effects

 

[Ruin Explorer]

The cancer plot is taken straight from the comics, although it is given some more depth there that I don't recall Love & Thunder giving it.

The idea is that whenever Mjolnir transforms Jane into Thor, it cleanses her of all poisons and other nasty stuff. This includes the medicines used for chemotherapy, so every time she transforms her treatments are nullified. But the cancer itself is Jane's own cells out of control, and as such Mjolnir doesn't recognize them as a threat.

Which is not what happened in the movie - it would have been less cheap if it was, because the problem would have been that she kept deciding to transform, which is more equivalent to intentionally missing your chemo appointments because you're out fighting crime or whatever, which at least tells us something about the character's personality (though not necessarily something as positive as perhaps the writer thinks it does).

But really it's just gross and they just need to not use real-world diseases, especially common ones, unless they're going to take it seriously. What's sick and sad is, one of the few shows that actually did take it seriously was Archer, a literal spy parody and which is intentionally transgressive, and which still did an infinitely better job than 95% of Hollywood on this.

it did cause major tsunami and earthquakes

It would destroyed every coastal city around the Indian ocean. Tens of millions would have died. Maybe more! So yeah a couple of throw-away lines are cheap CYA and "forget about it", not world-building. It was also so large it would have penetrated into near-space (if not actual space) and be trivially visible from space (will we see it in The Marvels inevitable shots of Earth from space? I doubt it - or they'll have made it like 1/10th to 1/100th the size it was in The Eternals). Hell it might have unbalanced the rotation of the planet.

 

[Paul Farquhar]

It would destroyed every coastal city around the Indian ocean.

Unless your world had dozens of superheroes who could work together to prevent that happening.

 

[Ruin Explorer]

Unless your world had dozens of superheroes who could work together to prevent that happening.

Uh huh, except the problem is the MCU has gone to some lengths to establish there aren't a whole bunch of rando high end supers bouncing around. They'd need to be incredibly, staggeringly Superman level powerful to even interfere with the insane energies of a tsunami like that. There are Marvel heroes on that level who may well appear eventually (like the Sentry, who may be in Thunderbolts), but not many, even in the comics. And the MCU has also established the Avengers are basically MIA, and it seems like someone might have noticed if they were involved. Namor could have helped theoretically I guess, but why not mention that? And I'm not sure even he could have stopped that kind of tsunami give it was coming from three angles and visible from space as per Eternals.

This is obviously going to be retcon'd in some way or another.

 

[Clint_L]

Unless your world had dozens of superheroes who could work together to prevent that happening.

Sure, I guess. But hand-waving stuff that should have way bigger consequences with "maybe superheroes fixed it behind the scenes" is basically just saying "magic fixed it (possibly literally)." Which from an audience perspective is kinda lame.

The "snap" has the same problem - the consequences of that should have been utterly transformative. And while they've worked it into plots, the MCU still assumes a world in which nothing really has changed - within months of returning Peter Parker and friends can go on European vacation and it looks pretty normal. F&WS has a terrorist plot related to the snap, but really society has recovered pretty much seamlessly.

In other words, we are being told things, but not shown them. What I saw happen in Eternals would change Earth history for all time. At a fundamental, geological level, never the mind the rampant death and destruction that would have ensued, the consequences to weather, climate...and that's just talking about the hand jutting out of the Indian Ocean - that is just a fraction of the whole eternal that was about to bust the entire planet apart and still exists underground. That should have been a civilization-ending catastrophe!

 

[Stalker0]

Okay...the film was a definite letdown from Thor 3, but it wasn't that bad. Just kinda dumb. I'd still watch it again over Eternals. At least I kind of remember Love and Thunder. The only thing I remember from Eternals is that there is now supposed to be a Madagascar-sized hand coming out of the Earth that apparently has no effects and will never be mentioned again.

Hey, maybe the Marvels will bring it up, or at least show it from up in orbit.

At the end of the day, Thor 4 at least made me laugh. Was the plot stupid, yep. But I at least felt something. Quantum mania had the sin of being a dramatic movie with no real stakes, and a comedy that wasn't funny. I'll take Thor 4 over quantum mania any day.....though at this point we are at the bottom of the garbage bin asking whose refuse pile smells worst.

 

[Henadic Theologian]

I think it looks great! And I also love that it is already causing the tiny minds of sexist men to explode on social media and YouTube. lol

Just because someone doesn't like it, doesn't mean they are sexist. I did like it however, but I've said the Kamala Kahn was the best part of phase 4 except for Spiderman: No Way Home.