I’ve seen the etiquette. In tournaments. Never in casual games. Even when both players know the etiquette. Heck, I’ve seen my share of casual tournaments that didn’t take the etiquette too seriously.
The only etiquette we RPGamers need is the normal etiquette that applies to dealing with other people.
Well, ok, each to their own opinions. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, obviously.
I just think that an etiquette - I cannot describe what, exactly, just in generality - is needed, has always been needed, for our Hobby.
In casual chess games? I've seen the etiquette break down, yes. Usually, the result was casual. Sometimes, it was more serious. But chess players always knew how the pieces moved, and I rarely saw arguments over such things.
Too bad, we couldn't have been more congenial in our Hobby! And what do I mean, EXACTLY, by that? I mean:
You are playing a 40th level wizard with 10 Shapechanges memorized? Cheers!
You are playing a 1st level wizard with 1 magic missile readied? Cheers!
You are playing a fighter with a 30 strength (2E 30 strength.) of 50th level? Cheers!
You are playing a fighter of 1st level with a sword? Cheers.
Your rogue can instantly stab dead just about anything with that feat? Cheers!
Your druid can waste just about anything with her special polymorph? Cheers!
etc. That kind of thing, as opposed to ... you know, the opposite ... that *other* reaction we all know so well.
O_O
Seriously?
I could believe this if I took the rhetoric at face value. When it comes to actually breaking out pencils and dice, however, I’ve seen very little of it. The few that actually take hard-line positions about a game soon find themselves without a group.
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I would not have said it, if I did not believe it with all my heart. I saw it happen, and I saw it happen personally. I saw it happen personally, over and over and over. So, I have made the conclusions I've made, which I laid out in detail above.
I finally concluded, as written above, that the whole trouble started due to something very small, very innocuous, something that seemed totally innocent and harmless at that time (the 1970s.) The lack of a basic etiquette regarding how seriously to take the rules, and even more ... how seriously to take any changes in the rules, and how to handle such changes with due respect and gravity.
It seemed so utterly innocent and non-harmful back then, such a natural and normal thing, such a necessary thing, really ... to me and everyone else. I would never have imagined it would have led to ... what happened. Yet it did. Or, at least, that is my take.
Thus I make the point that, from my point of view, if we are granted a second chance we should create a strong and emcompassing etiquette concerning how to approach the rules, how seriously to take any changes in rules, and otherwise an etiquette concerning the basic approach to the conception of roleplaying. Establish a strong etiquette, I believe, and we can ensure that what has happened, never happens again.
You state that you do not see, what I have seen. Fair enough. Each to their own perspection. Each to their own thinking.
But I stand firmly by my perspections and memories.
Which, once more, in simplistic terms (see my posts above for the complicated version) is written out as:
Lack of etiquette leads to: feeling of freedom to change rules
Feeling of freedom to change rules leads to: disrespect for rules
Disrespect for rules leads to: scorn of many rules, disgust and adversion to many rules
Scorn, disgust, adversion to rules leads to: disrespect for players using said rules
Disrespect of players using said rules leads to: disrespect of other players in general
Disrespect of other players in general leads to: institutionalized disrespect for other players (in other words, people start doing it automatically)
Institutionalized disrespect for other players leads to: dissing of other players
Dissing of other players leads to: fighting between players
Fighting between players leads to: broken friendships, game abandoned, groups break up, friendly atmosphere - atmosphere of fun - collapses
Collapse leads to a lot of players angry, hurt, sad, all the fun gone, culture of intolerance, anger, and hatred
Culture of intolerance, anger, and hatred leads to ...
The young see this, and refuse to join the Hobby. And that leads to ...
The death of Dungeons and Dragons.
Nothing like a tiny one inch snowball, started down a mountainside, leading to an avalanche that buries the town of thousands of people below.
Time to go back and set the core etiquette right.
Did the Hobby blow itself to smithereens? If you read what I read, you know I believe it did.
However, by all means, draw your own conclusions here! I merely offer opinions, not facts. All I can do is hope my opinions are helpful to someone.
And hope that there *is* hope, for a permanent future for our Hobby!