The Rules of Character Engagement

[Andion Isurand]

598. Travel and Fitness
With all the portals lying around to make travel pathetically easy... I'm surprised that there aren't very many fat people... none really at all, actually.

599. Tavern Activity Summary
Much talking, drinking, flirting and fighting.
Some reading, writing and music.
Very little chess, cards or darts.
...unless the darts are being used for fighting.

600. Maintaining appearences.
God forbid anyone be seen with a weapon, shield or set of armor of less than Masterwork quality.

601. Description shortcuts.
Those lacking imagination or ashamed of their atrocious spelling and/or grammer, are in luck. Concealing your character in full plate, a hooded cloak or simply describing him/her/it as an entity beyond description will always work just fine and never disrupt the ability to socialize at all.

602. Eluding to greater powers.
No 'good' description is complete without eluding to some partially concealed source of greater power.

( some actual examples )
"Evil cannot begin to describe the figure before you. He is something much, much worse." // "His soft red eyes can sometimes be seen with a strange flicker of malicious flame burning in them but not often." // "She possesses no visible weapon, but some can sense an overwhelming aura of magical power about her, that is beyond what anyone can imagine." // "The breadth of his shoulders deludes you to think he is a simple fighter, but again, something in the assurity with which he moves, betrays him." // "His true form is thus far known only to a select few who have been sworn to secrecy and charmed in order to prevent others from forcably extracting the information as well as to help those so sworn to keep from accidentally divulging said info......"

603. If I want your opinion, I will give it to you.
Memorable descriptions will take the opportunity to tell other readers what their characters think and how they react.

( some actual examples )
"As you finish your inventory, you may feel a chill -- her eyes are watching you, taking their own inventory and finding you wanting" // "The breadth of his shoulders deludes you to think he is a simple fighter, but again, something in the assurity with which he moves, betrays him."

...come on, this can't end here guys... ...there has to be more water in this sponge...

 

[melynxt]

Wowser, ok after reading through this, granted i breezed by some because well, its cold its late and wow thats a lot of reading Anyway, heh, after reading through most of this, i have to say I have a lot to..well, say

So here goes:

604. If you die, in a clearing, with only the murderer there, and no one else, and you aren't evil, there will be seven clerics with the high level power to bring you back to life, at your side in .06 seconds.

604.5 Everyone has a hidden ability that when they do die, something on them, or some inate power, will bring them back, OR you just can't bloody die. Characters live forever, even evil ones that have fifty bazillion people trying to kill them and plot against them.

605. If you look pure/innocent and you are female, chances are, you are in fact evil/deadly, and sometimes male.

606. Having no weopons visible, means you have at least a half dozen weopons on your person, at the ready, should anything or anyone even begin a thought about hurting you. You are the master of every weopon you have, and can react perfectly and quickly, after being in a bar and consuming countless alcoholic beverages, and talking to three people at once and being relaxed with your feet up on the table and just about hanging off the chair.

607. If you are a demon/succubus/incubus/just plain evil creature, some joe shmoe that loves you after you tried to kill him/her, will show you the right path and you will be 'enlightened' and no longer be evil, yet still be classified as demon/succubus/incubus/ect ..and have all those evil powers at your disposal, plus good ones too.

608. To enter the tavern you have several options:

1. through the window, and you completely shatter it and come out of the entrance, unscathed.

2. appear in a flurry of feathers/flower petals/electricity/fire/ice/some other outrageous "look at my arse" special effects. (You know, Sigfreid and Roy have patents on alot of those...careful )

3. You must materialize as if you were always there. Yes, everyone in the tavern just automatically feels like, wow, he's always been there, ok then. (I hate auto-anything basically)

4. You can use that thing called: the front door! ...yes ..i saved the text, someone used the front door *Smiles* lets see more of that?

609. If you want to be liked, you must make out with the man you just met in the tavern, within five minutes, or he won't like you.

610. An intelligent sword can get you pregnant (*sigh* i know i know..i should have used a sheath)

611. You can agree to a storyline OOC and then decide you'd much rather muck things up a week later, and instead of telling the other player, just lie to them, it makes for better RP that way.

612. Evil is classified thusly:

1. I look normal, but i kill and main squirrels at home, but you won't know about this until after you're married to me.

2. I wear human heads as hair peices, if you look at me, blood will fill your eyes, and you will burst into flames, for I am evil incarnate.

3. I'm possessed, please help me....help...me.

4. DIE!

5. I might be evil, i might not, do you dare trust me? oops, yeah im evil, and now you're mine *grins* (*sniffle* i miss Faeryln)

Which brings me into my next # here

613. If you have a storyline that involved over 30 characters, and has been set up months in advance, it's okay for a random character that has never even been in juxta/oerth when your character has been, to know every last detail about you, and what your evil plan is, and how to stop you ect ect ect, and after near 6 months of 30+ characters trying to defeat your evil character, the random good guy comes along with god-info, and solves the problem within 5 minutes, because he's just a nice guy and wants to help. (and yes, i refer to Faeryln).

If a knife, dagger, any sort of attack is launched at someone by another character, across the emporium or tavern, your character, whom was discussing about how he dislikes apples, will leap from his chair and deflect and or diffuse any such attack, just because he's that nice.

[ii] he or she will then develop a personal vendetta against the attacking character.

[iii] he or she will also develop an instant friendship with the victim character.

[iv] If you ask them ooc to not interfere, they call you a godmoder for not wanting a 'challenge', or they develop a nice 'stalker' personality (thats always fun)

614. Drink forever, eat a whole cow. Never have to relieve yourself.

615. When you get bored, animate a fruit and give it god like powers. Or perhaps a pie, or a pastry, or other foodstuffs. And then get upset when something or someone tries to eat you.

616. gods forbid if you are creative enough to invent your own creation. Such as a hybrid or mutation of something. You will be ridiculed and accused of snertation (ooh i made up a word i think ) and within one weeks time, 12 people will rip you off.

617. Wizo's are out to get you. They seek to destroy all of your characters, and that is why they are here as a person. They haven't any other goals or reason to be alive. They want to see your paladin go down! *cough*paranoid*cough*

618. If you can't type a sentance in english, without spelling half the words like total crap, perhaps roleplaying on a computer where you have to describe everything in text, isn't your forte? spellcheck, dictionary.com...ect

619. Acuse someone you know nothing about, that they are godmoding, because they don't wish to go along with your storyline or interactions, because you believe everyone should stop what they are in the middle of, and look at you, and give you all their attention.

620. If you are a new character, you must, simply must develop a crush or find a mate within 2 hours of being onsite.

621. Play your characters because you get upset as a player, and put that form of thinking into your characters, and don't think about how hard it is on other players when your character suddenly disappears from memory, or suddenly remembers he has a first wife he loves.

OOC ....IC ....note, the differences please

622. Be a veritable CoC angel during the day, and skirt and tred the borders of it at night. After all, it's not like no one will report you, and as if they keep those logs, right?

623. Everything leads to sex. Your characters need love and sex. Sex ends every RP. Sex.

if sex doesnt end an rp, you have a right to hate that player for being a poor sport.

[ii] if said sex does occur, it must be viscious and brutal and violent, and thats okay.

[iii] talking about said sex onsite, casually, in front of an entire tavern, as if you were discussing tea flavors, is acceptable.

[iv] children are miraculously either NEVER conceived, or they are conceived and always are perfectly healthy/are birthed in a week/going to grad school next saturday

[v] its a bar where demons and masochists enjoy. Let's bring Jr. in and let him crawl on the floor while we have a nice cup o' joe.

624. No matter how much blood and damage and carnage and killing and maiming and gods only know what else takes place in the clearing and Arena, when you go back out there, its spotless and shiny And thieves can't possibly find ANYTHING of value out there, and if they do, it magically is teleported back to the owner miraculously.

625. If you have sick twisted fantasies, its okay to play them out on wizards, just so long as you don't get caught by a wizo. (seriously, this will be reported, we don't come here to see disgusting roleplay involving children/animals/and adult men. Little thing called CoC...only wish these newbies would actually READ it)

626. Your description is longer than my arm, and that's ok, because in it, you tell us everything from how they speak and what they act like and who their great aunt Uma is and how great her cookies were on the holidays. Descrips are for physical visualizations, not histories!

because you put in your description that everyone will cower at your glance/will be in love with you at your glance ..blah blah blah at your glance, it should happen.

[ii] but if you have a legit charm ability, it will never work. A five year old child will have resistance. The chipmunk with the lazy eye will have resistance.

627. If you are a new character, a complimentary cloak of invisibility will be issued until some one acknowledges your existance, and then its rocky sailing still. Hold on tight boys, its rough 'see's' ahead.

628. This one is about the Thief comments. Thieves are my favorite type to play, and its very frustrating. This is why:

1. you play your thief once and you suddenly have a beacon of 'im a pickpocket' over your head, no matter how great your char' skill is, or how well you can sneak ect.

2. Apathy is highly underrated (yay apathy )

3. A thief can now wear full plate and be a paladin as well, apparently, and move swiftly, and pick locks and blah blah blah

4. there are way more, but i believe my post is rambling now

629. There is a difference between being creative, and being bloody annoying. It's great to make a character for comedic purposes, but let's have it in moderation?

yes i have a vampiric chicken.

[ii] yes he wears a monicle.

[iii] yes he speaks with an austrian accent.

[iv] yes, his name is Count Von Cluck and he wears a cape.

[v] yes, he's an undead chicken with a single fang.

[vi] yes, i know, he's a chicken.

[vii] but yes, he can be killed, and has vampiric weaknesses, and chicky weaknesses too

[viii] *sighs and hangs head* yes, there was plans to make a duck paladin in full plate with a sword and everything.

I'm so ashamed *sniffles* yet amused hehe

And finally, because frankly i think this is way too long even for my replies:

630. You have 75 different personalities, you are 1/20th elf/fae/human/demon/celestial/goat/drow/kender/dragon/succubus/ect ect ect, and taking off your hat requires 16 lines of description, when you sit down, powers make that "neh neh" noise around you, and you summon your own liquor, and never get drunk and you have perfect hair everyday and everything about you is just perfect and superior and blah-di-blah-di da....and your bloody name is "FRED, or GEORGE, or BOB, or, your name is so confusing and looks more like "sdaflkjsadlkdfjasdf" than a name. mmmm nonsense...*drools*

Ok ok, im stopping really...but ...you know...this thread....i should have never seen it...im going to reply and reply and reply..heh.......anyway.

And before i go, as others have commented before me, this thread would be alot easier if there was no finger pointing ect. After all, this is all supposed to be fun.

Fun....fun....fun....remember that

Ooh one more,

631. Characters need to die, and stay dead. I'd quite frankly like to see the olddddd characters kick the bucket, and new ones get built up and made ect ect....it'd bring more event into the rp i think, but thats just me.

 

[melynxt]

632. If your character is used and abused by a good dozen different characters, it's considered not acceptable for your character to become a bit 'iffy' in the mental department. And then when the character regains the sanity feature, you're forever disliked and look upon as the evil one.

Its not all gumdrops and rosepetals...good rp means all aspects and all emotions, not just the happy smiley face ones

(had to chuck that in there ...heh..i know..go to bed, right? ok ok dont push, im going..yeesh)

 

[Ladyshade]

Ok...now that's funny.

633. Melynxt wins. :rofl:

 

[melynxt]

634. If a centaur walks into the tavern, followed by a cleric, followed by a drow, this is NOT grounds for a joke.

635. If you are a bard performing in the tavern, expect someone to try to kill you, just because.

If no one is available to kill you, expect to be ridiculed, no matter how many years and how much training as a bard and how much skill and talent your character has..ie, you suck!

[ii] Contracts on your life can and will be used against you in an offsite "Hi, my character got a party together, and they hunted down your character and followed her to her home and killed her, ok?" fasion. This is law.

[iii] After performing an award winning performance and spending near 4 hours entertaining, don't expect anymore more than a copper peice from any one individual. What, you think that guy with 30000pp is going to give you a silver?! Don't be greedy or anything!

[iv] If someone is generous enough to give you a small pouch of money for your performance, it will hold seven ba-trillzion white gold coins with an insignia of bahamut himself on them, each being able to grant a wish and cause happiness and make a nice cup of tea too.

636. If your character has a flaw, there will be someone, within 2.4 seconds of your character thinking about the flaw, that shows up, with the custom magical blah blah that cures said flaw, and they will give it to you for free because they are in the boyscouts and are helping humanity.

If your character is missing an eye, arm, tongue, sanity, happiness, normal bodily function, or belly button, said custom magical blah blah, will fit like a glove, and all trauma caused by said flaw, disappears with out a trace.

637. Gods forbid if you bring in a cat-type person now. Lycanthropy is considered fun now, and not a disease. Cat-people are happy to be such, and never give the disease to others, even with blood on open wounds. It's not a disease, its a fasion statement.

If you actually do have a cat-type person and try to play them correctly, you are shunned for being either a ****/*****/annoying, or you're completely ignored because its become a fad and heavens forbid if you werent one of those 'ooh look that looks fun lets make 20 of them' people.

Ok well thats all for now, but there's more to come i assure you *laughs maniacally and runs away*

 

[Jardel_Karabella]

638. Should you happen to have a group of friends you tend to associate with this will automatically make you an elitist club which everyone wants to join.

Denial of the knowledge of a such a non-existant club will only reaffirm people's belief in it and make them redouble their efforts to join.

[ii] Refusal to accept these people as full bonofide members (ie. friends you've known for years) on meeting them will guarantee to result in either stalking, a suicide attempt or them attacking you.

639. Don't be alarmed by absolute strangers or people you actively dislike calling your "my friend", they don't really mean it, they just want to sound nice so you'll do something for them.

640. Now just because you have no interest in participating in someone's plot doesn't give you the right to avoid it. Failure to comply with joining in people's plots will frequently result in punishment by stalking and/or hissy fit.

 

[Lace]

more and more

641. Only truely good players that walk through the doors, have a different description each and every time. Never mind the typo ridden descript in their urging to be characteristically different each and every time.

642. Obviously the less inclined people are to be ridiculed or mocked because
A. They simply do not feel like it
B. Do not have time
C. Too excited to RP to bother
Or D. Have the creativity of a goat.

643. It's not a normal day if someone isn't complaining about the deader's, the fingies that tend to like making typos, or even more special, the in and out of love and the ISRP of our Lives special of children mastering weaponry, class arts a few months after their born, oooh and yes, they are grown up by now btw. (thinks somewhere down the line LS might have covered it, but it's important around here, so its covered again hehe)

644. It's expected that everyone can TP simply because One other omnipotent being can. Sheez, even young girls, boys can nowadays, just what are they putting in breastmilk nowadays?


655. Someone always has to walk in and complain about being bored, or about that illusive group of players, groan about popularity, blah blah, Oocishly and ICishly while someone else doesn't respond with a nice, Oocishly response of, "Hey, this is a type and respond type of atmosphere." IC'ishly of course there's no response to person climbing walls, banging head against the barcounter, sticking themselves with knives, because usually others are being reasonable and rp'ing to environment. Example. Tavern, drinking, conversing and more drinking. Heh. Wait drinking and banging head against the barcounter, probably can be considered reasonable.

That's about it for now.. : P Simply because, well refer back to 642. (b)

 

[WizO_Pounamu]

*wonders what happened to 645 - 654...*


-

Pounamu

 

[Lace]

Gripes

blast these awful typos, I could have sworn....645

chuckles as she walks away muttering a string of curses

645

Or wait, I know there's some good honourable person out there, who will rescue this error, lol

 

[Arathil]

646, etc.

646, Part One...

Anybody who is playing a 1,000 year old character with at least 20 class levels... and two or three templates besides... will invariably, upon being accused of godmoding or snerting, respond with something along the lines of "Well, geeze, anything above 2nd level, and you call it snerting."

646, Part Deux...

Anybody playing an unlikely and rather ridiculous tavern occupant... such as an ancient and mighty outsider, a drow vampire, an ancient and powerful dragon, a Sailor Moon ripoff, or whatever... upon being accused of snerting, will respond with something similar to the response in Part One. Change "...above 2nd level," to "...other than a human," and you've got it.

646, Part Yeah...

Loosely tied to the other two... If there is a character present who is twelve feet tall, has wings, breathes fire, has four arms, and possesses the knowledge of all the multiverse... it immediately follows that any character who is also present who has only three or four of those qualities is not a snert.

647

The less capable the player, the more outlandish the character. Anybody who spells every single word in a given sentence wrong is guaranteed to be a celestial, or a great dragon, or a unicorn, etc... something old and ancient enough to most likely have a grammatical grasp higher than a 2nd grader. The good spellers are almost universally at least mortal... if not mundane humans.

648

Everybody has unblinking, 360 degree vision. It is impossible to look, gaze briefly, even glance sidelong at somebody... regardless of how many people are in the tavern... without them immediately noticing. In addition, the merest sidelong glance is enough to invoke grievous, even mortal offense, 98% of the time.

649, Part One...

What happens in the tavern, dictates the behavior of the entire world of Greyhawk. Players old enough to have families and hold down jobs will dictate their opinion of elves, owlbears, undead, etc. off of the behavior of a single thirteen-year-old who couldn't even spell the name of the creature he was trying to portray.

649, Part Deux...

Said individuals will also, unfailingly, loudly complain at the abundance of poor roleplayers on sight, and encourage other people to ignore them in the hopes that they might go away.

650

Assassins are completely open and honest about their occupation, to the extent that those intimately familiar with them are as well without fear of retribution. "Yeah, he's an assassin... won't leave me alone... now he's going after my lover... who's also an assassin, by the way." Also, despite the fact that historical assassins are pretty unanimously poor fighters... focused specifically upon stealth and deception, to the near-exclusion of, say, swordsmanship (you don't have to be good when you're going to surprise and kill with your first hit anyway)... the assassins on-site are all universally concerned with touting their combat ability.

651

Nobody, anywhere, has any freakin' clue as to the reality of ninja... what they were, what they did, how they did it, etc. Despite this, see...

652

Anything Oriental is inexplicably, totally cool.