The Thread In Which We Rant

[Stormonu]

Dear DM: Please take five minutes or more to read the adventure we're going through so you at least know what is going on. And take a moment to say the NPC names out loud before the game so you don't fumble over them like they don't know their own name (if they're that hard to pronounce, just rename them, please. We won't likely remember their names anyways and keep asking for it again and again).

 

[RangerWickett]

Dear GM,

A setting that is silly is not necessarily one that is funny. If you have weird things constantly, we never figure out what the baseline is, so nothing can strike us as unexpected. We're confused, not amused.

 

[Eltab]

To Other Players:
Keep track of what is going on during combat and be thinking about what your character will do on your next turn, before your turn comes up. Nobody wants to stop the game while you decide what to do, review all your spells, recalculate your damage bonus, count range to the enemy, lose track of BBEG's mini, &c.

 

[Jacob Lewis]

Dear Players: I am not your adversary. I am simply responding to the actions and decisions of your characters with appropriate consequences that will make the story/scene/campaign more intriguing. If you are never challenged or asked to consider your choices, then I am not doing my job as a GM.

On the other hand, if your only objective is to succeed at everything and feel entitled to all possible rewards as described in the rules, then you don't need me for anything. Level yourself up and tell everyone how you won at roleplaying games.

 

[hawkeyefan]

Dear DM: Please take five minutes or more to read the adventure we're going through so you at least know what is going on. And take a moment to say the NPC names out loud before the game so you don't fumble over them like they don't know their own name (if they're that hard to pronounce, just rename them, please. We won't likely remember their names anyways and keep asking for it again and again).

Dear Player,
Take a few seconds here and there to jot down the names of people and places so I don’t have to repeat them again and again.

 

[aramis erak]

Dear Magic Players: The schedule is clear that it's RPG night. Please keep your ****ing voices down so we can hear our players.

 

[aramis erak]

Dear fellow players:

No, you may NOT touch my dice, books or other stuff with your greasy/Cheetos-dust covered fingers without wiping your hsnds. Nose-pickers & down the pants junk scratchers must wash or use sanitary wipes.*

* yes. I am thinking of actual players of my personal acquaintance.

Yeah, I've known a few of those.

I had one player who was homeless for a while... his request was that he be allowed to shower before game - and he managed to keep a change of clean clothes somehow, too. If the homeless guy living in the shelter can be clean, you can, too.

 

[Zardnaar]

Recent example.

" Ok guys we're doing Egyptian theme that you guys picked".

"Can I be a Samurai"?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Dear DM: Please take five minutes or more to read the adventure we're going through so you at least know what is going on...

A DM of my acquaintance was in the middle of running a combat encounter, and- after glancing at the monster’s stat block, uttered in surprise, “I didn’t know it could do THAT!”

 

[Zardnaar]

A DM of my acquaintance was in the middle of running a combat encounter, and- after glancing at the monster’s stat block, uttered in surprise, “I didn’t know it could do THAT!”

Sometimes you're in a hurry and just throw in a critter if the right CR for the encounters.

I used a flind for example, quick read right CR then it gets a crit with it's 4d10 flail head rolls high and drops a level 7 fighter type