The Trunk of Useless Items

[Drawmack]

There was a thread recently in the general board that asked what famous people played D&D. Two people cliaming to be Elijah (sp.) Wood and Carrot Top posted to the thread saying that they played. I love Carrot Top and am designing this artifact in his honor. I would like your help designing the 101 items that can be pulled out of the trunk.

The trunk of useless items is an artifact that was created many years ago by an insane wizard. When someone reaches into the trunk they will pull something out but they never know what it will be. The only garentee is that it will be an item that could not possibly help them in their current situation. Below is a list of items that could be pulled from the trunk.

1) Broken Arrows
2) A jar of dead bees
3) Small pieces of yarn
4) Ripped clothes
5) Petrified firewood

 

[Hygric]

6) A stuffed dead mouse, slightly moth eaten.
7) A small paper bag of sweets.
8) Handfulls of sand.

 

[Nifft]

I don't like the "broken item" entries -- IMHO that's just too easy. There should be ONE chance in 100 of getting a "useful" item, but it will be broken.

Anyway...

9) kazoo
10) small jar of shoe polish
11) thin book of bad poetry
12) jar of [bat, pigeon, etc.] guano
13) clay candle holder
14) one sock
15) ordinary, non-magical accessory [bracers, helmet, gloves, boots, belt, etc.]
16) jar of salt

-- Nifft

 

[Anabstercorian]

The bat guano could be used as a magical component.

17) A glob of vegetable oil, not in a container
18) A booger from the Tarrasque
19) A small poop.
20) A jack russell terrier.
21) A bag of snails.
22) A single perfect rose, which will be eaten by a sheep in the next week.

 

[MerakSpielman]

23) A miniature Trunk of Useless Items

 

[Robbert Raets]

24 - A 'magical' scroll with Hastur written on it;
25 - An Intelligent Ring of Invisibility;
26 - Directions to the house of God;
27 - A ripped condom, with the Presidential (or Royal) Seal on it;

 

[MerakSpielman]

no, not the intelligent ring of invis... that might be useful... why not:

25) an intelligent, invisible ring?


PS, do you think they were really who they said they were? Makes you wonder if they're regular posters who usually post under a different user name to take advantage of the anominity of the internet.

 

[Robbert Raets]

Well, it would be useful - if it didn't have the personality and voice of a bored, shallow and annoying high-school girl....

 

[Drawmack]

Honestly I don't know if they were who they said they were. This item was still inspired by carrot top.

 

[GuardianLurker]

28) A singing pebble that only knows "100 bottles of beer"
29) An apple with a bite out of it and one-half a worm
30) A jar of dried petroleum jelly
31) A stone giant's wart (without the giant)
32) A thick book in Draconic titled "Kung Fu Made Easy"
33) A tiny bastard sword of Olive Bane +3
(i.e. it's deadly against the Olive]
34) A box of 31 numbered dates (the fruit), arranged in columns and rows.