The ultimate defensive spell

[Aleolus]

OK, this is quite obviously the most broken spell for anyone to ever come up with, but I feel I need to post it for sheer comedic value.

Can't Touch This
Abjuration
Level: Bard 2, Sorc/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, XP
Casting time: 3 rounds
Range: Touch
Target: One ally
Duration: One round/level
Effect: Any creature affected by this spell gains a deflection modifier to their AC equal to one half their Hit Die, rounded up. However, any damage dealt by a creature affected by this spell is treated as subdual damage, regardless of the source of damage.
XP: To cast this spell, you must expend 100 XP
Special: For the Somatic component, each round you must succeed on a Perform (Dance) check DC 15.

 

[Derren]

I guess a player of yours wanted to create this spell?

 

[Nifft]

Yeah, bad mechanics.
It's even more broken for NPCs, though. Check the stats on a Dragon or some of the big Outsiders.

Cheers, -- N

 

[Aleolus]

Actually, I've just had a lot of MC Hammer stuff going through my head recently, and I decided to stat up his song as a spell (hence the note I added about the somatic component). This isn't meant to be taken seriously, nor do I expect any character or DM to actually use it.

 

[Angel Tarragon]

Change the bonus to just half HDand drop the spell level by 2.

 

[Aleolus]

You mean like that?

 

[Felnar]

is the 3 round casting time legit?

instead of automatic subdual damage, require a DC 15 dance check (DC 10 if wearing chain parachute pants)

 

[Angel Tarragon]

You mean like that?

Looks good. A casting time of 1 standard action would be a good change as well.

 

[Aleolus]

But one standard action isn't enough time to get through the song!

 

[domino]

Make the casting one standard action, but then make the duration the length of the song/as long as it's sung.