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The "who would win" to end all "who would wins"


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After careful consideration I would have to go with.....

"&"

The & sign between Sci-Fi & Fantasy News.

Man, that is one seriously wicked looking & sign. Its got points man, look at it.
Whoever wielded the & sign would be the winner. That thing would easily poke out an eye or two.
 

Hmm...well, the stormtrooper would be out pretty quickly, as he's cannon fodder. The planet Earth is a resilient little bastard, but still can do little to harm uber-powerful beings. Thus, it comes down to Sauron and Superman. It looks like a pretty even battle, unless you count the factors that Superman is a superhero and Sauron is an epic fantasy villain. Thus, after a long and grueling battle, Superman would win.

Superman.
 

This one is easy. No matter who wins Initiative, Sauron goes first.
Superman won't act until there is something to act on.
The Earth is the same way.
And the Stormtrooper will either cower or hold an action to fire on the last opponent standing.

Sauron goes first and conquers the earth with his magic.
Superman flies in to stop him and provokes an AOO.
Saurons magic drops Supes.
The Stormtrooper fires at Sauron.
Stormtrooper wins.
 

Well...

Stormtroopers are clones of Jango Fett.
Jango Fett is supposedly as cool as Boba Fett.
Strangely however, many Stormtroopers all together can't hit a 12 AC Princess Leia (ok maybe she's got the Def bonus of a Noble.. but still)
So, the Ninja Equation (The more Ninjas there are, the Weaker each individual Ninja is) can also apply to Stormtroopers.

Now, consider the heavy sucking sound of a Empire's elite dimwit patrol suddenly changing into the cacophonic cry of Uberness that is the single existing Stormtrooper.

There is no question. One Stormtrooper can do just about anything.
 


I'm gonna go with the king of all monsters, the Big G himself (herself? itself?), Godzilla! He picked up a bus and he threw it back down as he waded through the buildings towards the center of town! They say he's gotta go? Go go Godzilla!

He's also knocked the taste out of other Toho monsters' mouths, came back from the dead a half dozen times at least and even survived a US movie from Fox (with associated merchandise)! He's fought overgrown bugs with drillbits for claws, some funky sunglass wearing bird thing with a buzzsaw in his chest, hyperactive pterodactyls, incompetant ankylosaurs, both robotic and mutant clones, uber gorillas, 3 headed dragons in need of ritalin (and the robotic version) and even a rosebush that OD'd on Miraclegro.

Anyone that gives him lip gets a dose of his nuclear halitosis.
 

The winner is: The Stormtrooper

How did I arrive at that? Well, Superman is vulnerable to magic, so Sauron would take him out. Then Sauron would blow up the planet (the only way you can really "kill" the Earth). Unfortunately, this would leave Sauron with no place to live, so he explodes in the vacuum of space.

Meanwhile, the Stormtrooper, in a galaxy far, far away, is scraping bantha dung off his boots on Tatoonine, blissfully unaware there was even a fight.
 

Superman picks up the One Ring and turns into Dark Superman, who should be King Badass except that Batman's been waiting for this moment for years and wastes Dark Superman with one of his 8 million contingency plans. The Ring plummets to Earth where it is picked up by a Stormtrooper. Why doesn't he go all evil(er)? Stormtroopers are incorruptible! Remember WEG's D6 Star Wars RPG? You couldn't even bribe them!

He tosses the Ring aside. "Cheap junk," he mutters to himself as he radioes for a Death Star attack on this stupid planet.

WINNER: STORMTROOPER
 

Into the Woods

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