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The words of the prophets are written on the restroom walls...

Greater Deity (Neutral)

Though few recognize the fact, almost all peoples give reverence in some way or another to the great god Porcelain. When the feel ill, when bodily needs must be met, it is Porcelain who they kneel before. Even the most pios follower of the other deities will give offering numerous times a day.

Porcelain appears as a great white being of smooth, glowing stone. He most often takes the odd shape of a mounted bowl, his lips raised in song.

Porcelain's favorite weapon is the plunger. His symbol is of sparkling water twirling down a dark hole set onto a tiled background.

Portfolio: Refuse, secretions, purification

Domains: City, Commode (see below), Gluttony, Water

Cleric Training: The training of clerics is normally done by other holy men who partake of blessed spirits until they feel the call of Porcelain. A call so strong that the truly dedicated will rush to him and deposit their offering within the holy bowl.

Quests: Clerics of Porcelain tend not to travel extensively, but when they do they seek to convert the disbelievers and heretics, particularly those that instead give their devotions and offerings to Tree, or even Wall.
Those that will not convert in spite of all wisdom will be shown the true holiness of Porcelain. The infidel will be held within so that the swirling waters may cool his brow and fill his ears until he hears the calling.

Prayers: Communion with Porcelain usually takes place about the shrine and are usually lowly muttered and simple. "Oh please, oh please, come on!" or even a groaning of 'Oh god...' are standard and well respected prayers. Fervent followers in the throes of worship may even begin to speak in high pitched whines and gurgles.

Temples: Temples of Porcelain are located most often in cities and towns, though most homes anywhere have at least one small temple. Public temples are usually tiled and usually contain numerous private shrines for individual devotions. Here they may sit in meditation, reading the holy magazines or papers. One can easily detect the particularly devout as the bowl it runneths over with their offerings.

Rites: The rites of Porcelain often include great feasts of food and strong drink, with holy legumes served in plenty. One is encouraged to embibe as much as one can so that their offerings to Porcelain will be of great abundance.


Commode Domain
Granted Ability: You gain immunity to poison.

Commode Domain Spells
1. Grease
2. Whispering Wind
3. Stinking Cloud
4. Control Water
5. Cloudkill
6. Repulsion
7. Prismatic Spray
8. Clenched Fist
9. Wish
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That is truly hilariious! Latrinalia finally used in D&D--although really the clerics should be required to writer their moniker on the walls [Killroy was here]. I applaud your use of poetic license.