Things Said At The Gaming Table - Share Yours!!
- Thread starter Angelsboi
- Start date
One of my favorites was "Don't sass me, boy!" (That was actually said in character 
) Another great one came from a particularly bad (but funny) DM: "It looks like... a water mephit." That's really only funny in the context of the fact that we were running a group of level 1 characters through Sunless Citadel, and so we should have had NO IDEA what the heck a Mephit was. 
) Another great one came from a particularly bad (but funny) DM: "It looks like... a water mephit." That's really only funny in the context of the fact that we were running a group of level 1 characters through Sunless Citadel, and so we should have had NO IDEA what the heck a Mephit was. 
DerianCypher
First Post
Well, my character had been trying to make up with a POed female NPC who had been one of his friends for a decade or so. He was mounted and leaving the city and she followed him to the edge and then shouted his name as he was leaving. He turned and tried to get her to stop by shouting her name but she just kept running. It was so funny because we had been so serious around the game room when I said, "I pull out my bow." Everyone burst into laughter and we couldn't stop.
Aaahh, memories
Aaahh, memories
Angelsboi
First Post
said between a human wizard, dwarven cleric and kobold sorcerer.
Cleric: Aye, you needin' to pray?
Wizard: I dont pray. I study.
Cleric: I dont study. I pray!
Sorcerer: Me just special.
She said this because she swears up and down she belongs to dragons and she can cast her spells without studying or praying!
Cleric: Aye, you needin' to pray?
Wizard: I dont pray. I study.
Cleric: I dont study. I pray!
Sorcerer: Me just special.
She said this because she swears up and down she belongs to dragons and she can cast her spells without studying or praying!
Archangel
First Post
Ok, here is one of the funniest things that was ever said during a game -
"I scream"
The character was played by a newbie (he was the friend and co-worker of one of the players). The character was a half-orc barbarian. The party was being hassled by a group of dopplegangers. One of them had set the party up bad, and at one point while in the guise of an 8 year old girl, the half-orc attempted (and failed) to break her neck (ooh, what a hoot that was).
Well, during a later encounter, three dopplegangers had assumed the form of the half-orc and proceeded to surround him:
Me: "You see three of you".
Player: "I scream".
The mental image of a 20 Str, tough-guy, half-orc Barbarian screaming like a little girl is just wrong.
"I scream"
The character was played by a newbie (he was the friend and co-worker of one of the players). The character was a half-orc barbarian. The party was being hassled by a group of dopplegangers. One of them had set the party up bad, and at one point while in the guise of an 8 year old girl, the half-orc attempted (and failed) to break her neck (ooh, what a hoot that was).
Well, during a later encounter, three dopplegangers had assumed the form of the half-orc and proceeded to surround him:
Me: "You see three of you".
Player: "I scream".
The mental image of a 20 Str, tough-guy, half-orc Barbarian screaming like a little girl is just wrong.
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Buttercup
Princess of Florin
Said by the CN Bard: "Well, I sold that bladder of snake venom."
The NG Fighter: "Did you get alot of gold for it?"
Bard: "Yeah. Well, maybe. Um. Well, I don't really know. I got a kilo of Bezet in trade."
Fighter, Sorcerer and Rogue simultaneously: "What's Bezet?"
Bard: "I don't know. But he acted like it was a good deal."
The party later learned that Bezet is a highly addictive, extremely illegal drug. A day's dose is about one teaspoon.
The NG Fighter: "Did you get alot of gold for it?"
Bard: "Yeah. Well, maybe. Um. Well, I don't really know. I got a kilo of Bezet in trade."
Fighter, Sorcerer and Rogue simultaneously: "What's Bezet?"
Bard: "I don't know. But he acted like it was a good deal."
The party later learned that Bezet is a highly addictive, extremely illegal drug. A day's dose is about one teaspoon.
About 4-5 years ago (playing a 2ed Player's Option game) we were going through White Plume Mountain. We had gotten to the Vampire's room, and were fighting him. One of the party smashed a table or something to get a makeshift wooden stake to kill the thing with. He attacked and hit...or so we thought. Our DM said the roll was a miss.
"How is it a miss?" the player asked.
"Do you have a staking proficiency?" the DM said.
After a stunned silence for a few seconds, we all started rolling on the floor laughing. Jokes of going to Van Helsing's school of Vampire slaying to get a staking proficiency are still told to this day.
"How is it a miss?" the player asked.
"Do you have a staking proficiency?" the DM said.
After a stunned silence for a few seconds, we all started rolling on the floor laughing. Jokes of going to Van Helsing's school of Vampire slaying to get a staking proficiency are still told to this day.
Re things said at the playing table
k last nights game goes as such ( We were playing to groups together Good Vrs. Evil )
John: Ok I hit the evil Female drow with my sword Neckbitter
Ryan: Huzzah, I second that ( OoC) In Character Die foul wench
Anna: (playing evil drow) (OoC) I can't get enough of this hot sex (talking about a type of mixed vodka drink) (In Character): You pathetic crawling worms think that you will kill me Ha Ha Haaa By the desire of my master, Aarien Thorne, you shall fall before my sword ( draws her big nasty poisoned sword) Mankiller taste the blood for which you lust.
DM: moans loadly in frustration
Whinning player: My stats really suck(Brian's good mage)
Distracting player: Can you throw me a soda
Ryan: I'll gut her, and kill her, and oh that the same thing well I'll really try and thwack her ( Profussily wielding his pencil)
Me: Yeah lets knock her up good (preparing to cast a spell)
Brian: (Playing evil half dragon) I gout the the Idiots with my breath, and pray to my god for them to die from it.
Ryan (OoC) breaths that foul huh
Don: (OoC) I shoot lightning bolts from me Arse (In character)
I run up and hit on the evil drow with my sword, If she isn't dead I will froth in rage yaaaaarghh!
k last nights game goes as such ( We were playing to groups together Good Vrs. Evil )
John: Ok I hit the evil Female drow with my sword Neckbitter
Ryan: Huzzah, I second that ( OoC) In Character Die foul wench
Anna: (playing evil drow) (OoC) I can't get enough of this hot sex (talking about a type of mixed vodka drink) (In Character): You pathetic crawling worms think that you will kill me Ha Ha Haaa By the desire of my master, Aarien Thorne, you shall fall before my sword ( draws her big nasty poisoned sword) Mankiller taste the blood for which you lust.
DM: moans loadly in frustration
Whinning player: My stats really suck(Brian's good mage)
Distracting player: Can you throw me a soda
Ryan: I'll gut her, and kill her, and oh that the same thing well I'll really try and thwack her ( Profussily wielding his pencil)
Me: Yeah lets knock her up good (preparing to cast a spell)
Brian: (Playing evil half dragon) I gout the the Idiots with my breath, and pray to my god for them to die from it.
Ryan (OoC) breaths that foul huh
Don: (OoC) I shoot lightning bolts from me Arse (In character)
I run up and hit on the evil drow with my sword, If she isn't dead I will froth in rage yaaaaarghh!
bloodymage
House Ruler
Things said, funny things, stupid stunts
A crusty barge pilot and his crew were poleing upriver with with an NPC fighter, a PC wizard and a PC rogue (thief), all 2nd level, as passengers in orc country. The pilot assures his passengers that this is perfectly safe as long as they stay in the middle of the river because the orcs have yet to figure out a way to get to the trade barges. The pilot spots rapids in the distance where no rapids should be and poles to shore.
The rogue sets out to investigate. He comes upon the cause of the rapids: a bridge composed of kobold bodies piled atop one another and laid end to end! Our intrepid rogue ventures a little farther upriver and encounters a huge encampment of orcs. He sneaks in for a closer look but isn't as silent as he'd like to be. A few of the orcs, alerted, start looking around for the cause of the foreign sound. Rogue backs quickly and quietly out of sight. As soon as this is accomplished, he turns and runs screaming ''ORCS!''. Ever had an entire orc army on your tail because you opened your mouth?
A crusty barge pilot and his crew were poleing upriver with with an NPC fighter, a PC wizard and a PC rogue (thief), all 2nd level, as passengers in orc country. The pilot assures his passengers that this is perfectly safe as long as they stay in the middle of the river because the orcs have yet to figure out a way to get to the trade barges. The pilot spots rapids in the distance where no rapids should be and poles to shore.
The rogue sets out to investigate. He comes upon the cause of the rapids: a bridge composed of kobold bodies piled atop one another and laid end to end! Our intrepid rogue ventures a little farther upriver and encounters a huge encampment of orcs. He sneaks in for a closer look but isn't as silent as he'd like to be. A few of the orcs, alerted, start looking around for the cause of the foreign sound. Rogue backs quickly and quietly out of sight. As soon as this is accomplished, he turns and runs screaming ''ORCS!''. Ever had an entire orc army on your tail because you opened your mouth?
Barendd Nobeard
Explorer
Re: Things said, funny things, stupid stunts
I was recently playing with someone who was running a monk character. He's doing really well in every combat with his Flurry of Blows attack.
We get to the toughest encounter of the session, he tries a flurry and misses horribly. The player just shook his head sadly and said, "The flurry that blows."
I was recently playing with someone who was running a monk character. He's doing really well in every combat with his Flurry of Blows attack.
We get to the toughest encounter of the session, he tries a flurry and misses horribly. The player just shook his head sadly and said, "The flurry that blows."
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