Things Said At The Gaming Table - Share Yours!!
- Thread starter Angelsboi
- Start date
Jack Haggerty
First Post
Fenros said:
This reminds me...
The Wizard is out shopping for something to keep the party's pile of coins in. Something he can use Arcane Lock on to keep it safe. He walks into a General Store, and asks:
Wizard: Excuse me, I'm looking for something I can use to transport large amounts of valuable material.
Female Shopkeeper: Certainly, there's a whole stack of burlap bags on that shelf over there. I can give you the lot of them for a silver piece.
Wizard: Well, I was looking for something a bit sturdier... A strongbox perhaps? With a good lock on it?
Female Shopkeeper: Oh, I see... Come on in back, and let me show you my chest.
[Dramatic pause]
Wizard: If you insist.
Dieter
First Post
KYO was a game favorite of our DM.
The inn in which nearly every game started featured the item "KYO Pitbeef" on the menu. Without fail, a newby member of the party would choose it.
KYO Pitbeef was perhaps the first (and often the last) encounter of the game. You see, the KYO stood for Kill-Your-Own and the "beef" was actually was an armed and ornery minotaur at the bottom of a pit...hence, KYO Pitbeef.
Needless to say, regulars stayed away from the KYO.
The inn in which nearly every game started featured the item "KYO Pitbeef" on the menu. Without fail, a newby member of the party would choose it.
KYO Pitbeef was perhaps the first (and often the last) encounter of the game. You see, the KYO stood for Kill-Your-Own and the "beef" was actually was an armed and ornery minotaur at the bottom of a pit...hence, KYO Pitbeef.
Needless to say, regulars stayed away from the KYO.
Glog
First Post
Here are a couple more. We've been keeping a set of rules, sayings and -isms over the last 18 years of gaming and friendship. Many are be amusing, more than a few are offensive but all are tied to a bond developed by four foolish lads in love with RPGs, the annual trek to GenCon and the cultivation of our inner geeks. Really, it's just a good way to lovingly remind each other of the stupid things we do and say everytime we get together. So far we're up to #2047.
"We worship Our Lady of Perpetual Sarcasm" - a couple of clerics in a campaign a number of years back.
A hapless thief character of mine had a proviso, "a small measure of ineptitude invariably leads to success." He stayed alive all the way through 15th level and the original Temple of Elemental Evil through either serendipity or the good graces of the DM in our group.
A rule to live by - Never cast Flesh to Stone on a Flesh Golem
And the ever popular famous last words, "Magic Missile a snake??"
"We worship Our Lady of Perpetual Sarcasm" - a couple of clerics in a campaign a number of years back.
A hapless thief character of mine had a proviso, "a small measure of ineptitude invariably leads to success." He stayed alive all the way through 15th level and the original Temple of Elemental Evil through either serendipity or the good graces of the DM in our group.
A rule to live by - Never cast Flesh to Stone on a Flesh Golem
And the ever popular famous last words, "Magic Missile a snake??"
Last edited:
.
BlackMoria
First Post
This one cracks up our players everytime it is recounted....
At one point, the party came into possession of a massive crossbow, the weapon of a Frost Giant Jarl that they just slew.
The paladin and barbarian were discussing how to use this massive crossbow, which I described as being the size of a small ballista.
After some discussion this was the final commentary (soon to be immortalized amongst my players).
Barbarian: The wheeled idea isn't going to work. Stairs and rough terrain make it impractical.
Paladin: We can strap it to one of us....we both have the strength to carry.
Barbarian: How?
Paladin: I can strap it to my back so it is centred upon my body. Then to use it, I can bend over and you can do the cocking....
That is when the game session erupted into uncontrollable laughter.
At one point, the party came into possession of a massive crossbow, the weapon of a Frost Giant Jarl that they just slew.
The paladin and barbarian were discussing how to use this massive crossbow, which I described as being the size of a small ballista.
After some discussion this was the final commentary (soon to be immortalized amongst my players).
Barbarian: The wheeled idea isn't going to work. Stairs and rough terrain make it impractical.
Paladin: We can strap it to one of us....we both have the strength to carry.
Barbarian: How?
Paladin: I can strap it to my back so it is centred upon my body. Then to use it, I can bend over and you can do the cocking....
That is when the game session erupted into uncontrollable laughter.
blind bard
First Post
here is somthing interesting.
my bard was seeking a way to learn Alter Self
Bard(to sor): i would like to be able to alter my form.
Sor:OK(hit me with a staff), you can turn it to a mole
Bard: no! not that
Sor: oh, how about a mole that can SEE
my bard was seeking a way to learn Alter Self
Bard(to sor): i would like to be able to alter my form.
Sor:OK(hit me with a staff), you can turn it to a mole
Bard: no! not that
Sor: oh, how about a mole that can SEE
Similar Threads
Recent & Upcoming Releases
-
June 16 2026 -
June 16 2026 -
September 16 2026 
Arcana Unleashed(Dungeons & Dragons)
Rulebook featuring "high magic" options, including a host of new spells.
Replies (181) -
September 16 2026 -
October 1 2026 -
October 6 2026 -
January 1 2027
