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This Is Finland

jonesy

A Wicked Kendragon
I'm told this is old, but I hadn't seen it before. Found it quite funny, and actually quite accurate. :D

"This is Finland
by Volker Weber

+15°C / 59°F
This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here.
People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves.
The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.

+10°C / 50°F
The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.
The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C / 41°F
Italian cars won't start,
The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.

0°C / 32°F
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Vantaa river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.

-5°C / 23°F
People in California almost freeze to death.
The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C / 14°F
The Brits start the heat in their houses.
The Finns start using long sleeves.

-20°C / -4°F
The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations.
Autumn is here.

-30°C / -22°F
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.

-40°C / -40°F
Paris start cracking in the cold.
The Finns stand in line at the hotdog stands.

-50°C / -58°F
Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.
The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

-60°C / -76°F
Korvatunturi (the home for Santa Claus) freezes.
The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.

-70°C / -94°F
The false Santa moves south.
The Finns get frustrated since they can't store their Kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) outdoors.
The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.

-183°C / -297.4°F
Microbes in food don't survive.
The Finnish cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.

-273°C / -459.4°F
ALL atom-based movent halts.
The Finns start saying "Perkele (=damn), it's cold outside today."

-300°C / -508°F
Hell freezes over, Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest."

:p
 

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Finland, Finland, Finland,
The country where I want to be,
Pony trekking or camping,
Or just watching TV.
Finland, Finland, Finland.
It's the country for me.

You're so near to Russia,
So far from Japan,
Quite a long way from Cairo,
Lots of miles from Vietnam.

Finland, Finland, Finland,
The country where I want to be,
Eating breakfast or dinner,
Or snack lunch in the hall.
Finland, Finland, Finland.
Finland has it all.

You're so sadly neglected
And often ignored,
A poor second to Belgium,
When going abroad.

Finland, Finland, Finland,
The country where I quite want to be,
Your mountains so lofty,
Your treetops so tall.
Finland, Finland, Finland.
Finland has it all.

All together, Finland fans!
Finland, Finland, Finland,
The country where I quite want to be,
Your mountains so lofty,
Your treetops so tall.
Finland, Finland, Finland.
Finland has it all.

Finland has it all.
 








Reminds me of one I saw except with a more North American slant:

"Cold" is a relative term. Use the handy list below to overcome the confusion.

Degrees (Fahrenheit)

65 Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night

60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)

50 Miami residents turn on the heat

45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts

40 You can see your breath

--Californians shiver uncontrollably

--Minnesotans go swimming

35 Italian cars don't start

32 Water freezes

30 You plan your vacation to Australia

25 Ohio water freezes

--Californians weep pitiably

--Minnesotans eat ice cream

--Canadians go swimming

20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless

--New York City water freezes

--Miami residents plan vacations further south

15 French cars don't start

--Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

10 You need jumper cables to get the car going

5 American cars don't start

0 Alaskans put on T-shirts

-10 German cars don't start

--Eyes freeze when you blink

-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo

--Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects

--Miami residents cease to exist

-20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you

--Politicians actually do something about the homeless

--Minnesotans shovel snow off roof

--Japanese cars don't start

-25 Too cold to think

--You need jumper cables to get the driver started

-30 You plan a two week hot bath

--Swedish cars don't start

-40 Californians disappear

--Minnesotans button top button

--Canadians put on sweaters

--Your car helps you plan your trip south

-50 Congressional hot air freezes

--Alaskans close the bathroom window

-80 Hell freezes over

--Polar bears move south

--Viking fans order hot cocoa at the game

-90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets
 

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