Three Characteristic Behaviors Per Monster

Bards:
- Blow their Leadership feat on a 4-piece band and backing singers
- Are masters of the air guitar
- Boast about their amp that goes up to eleven, if you know what I mean, and I think you do, BAY-BEE

Paladins:
- Slay a dozen foul monsters before breakfast
- Take fair maidens out to tea
- Slay two dozen foul monsters after tea

Rangers:
- Got teh shaft
- Got teh shaft
- Got teh shaft
 

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Since my summaries are so popular... :rolleyes:

Trolls -- Hunch over and stomp their feet like sumo wrestlers before they attack.

Orcs -- Beat great drums before they go on a raid. These drums can be heard over a very long distance, making the villagers panic days in advance.

Goblins -- Insult humans in broken Common, make rude gestures, throw filth on them, etc. -- but only from out of reach. Break fences, steal livestock, etc. to extort cookies from human farmers.

Hobgoblins -- Goose step. Always march in order with magnificent battle standards and symbols of power. Shout a battle cry in unison before charging.

Gnolls -- Cackle eerily. Females dress like males, may be chieftains. Hate lions, even heraldric designs thereof.

Ogres -- Slam their clubs into the ground before battle (to challenge and scare the opponent). When charging, throw around stuff laying about (overturning tables, throwing pots and pans, etc.).

Minotaurs -- Throw their heads back, roaring in defiance. Before charging, scrape their hooves along the floor (like bulls). Chase their prey at leisure, their loud footsteps echoing through their mazelike lair -- since they dont have to rush; they already know where to turn.

Hill Giants -- Lick boulders before throwing them. Love to throw with their mates in waves. Wear multicoloured kilts. Clap their hands after hitting and holding up their fingers to give a rating of their throw.

Kobolds -- Never stand still (except when they're lying in ambush, of course). Even in melee combat, they're continually taking 5' steps at the very minimum.

Displacer Beasts -- Usually napping. Watch birds, squirrels, and other game. Try to scare off enemies after making a kill (to eat safely).

Giant Owls -- Eat Were-Rats and Ratmen. Regurgitate giant pellets (maybe with treasure). Always looking around -- turning their heads 180 degrees.

Treants -- (In tradition of Tolkien's Ents...) Live in geologic time. Speak slowly and laboriously, never succinctly. Remember ancient history.

Blink Dogs - Wag their tails before 'blinking'; like to stand on their hind legs; love to drive normal dogs crazy by blinking in and out.

Hags -- Offer tasty treats. Very maternal and sweet -- until upset. Hate beauty.

Celestials -- Speak in riddles. Only make formal declarations, no small talk. Look through people.

Centaurs -- Always talk in terms of astrology. View any suggestion of riding them as deserving death. Eat both horse and human food for their two stomachs.

Medusa -- Hire models to "pose for a statue", keep cages of mice to feed their hair, decorate their lair with real statues as well as victims.

Ettins -- Argue between heads. Play "good cop, bad cop" (if they parlay at all). Heads fight over food like two dogs.

Ratlings (Nezumi, Skaven, etc.) -- Always sniffing, especially in a new place. Gnaw on wooden objects (spear shafts, staves, etc.) when bored. Attracted to glittering objects.

Yuan-Ti -- Taste air with tongue. Stare -- without blinking -- at people. Bob their heads.

Troglodytes -- Move around a lot when angry or frightened; it helps spread the stench from their musk. If parlaying, attribute the most authority to the worst-smelling member of a group. Change skin color in order to express feelings.

Otyughs -- Willing to trade choice items from pile for disgusting pieces of trash. Cultivate fungi on self - such gardens often contain rare fungi unable to survive in the local area. Territorial but willing to share lair in symbiotic relationship (certain undead are a favorite as they tend not to consume their prey).
 


Red dragons:
- Eat the hottest curries with gusto
- Accept payment in virgins, souls or livestock
- Get annoyed when bothered by adventurers, who are typically not virgins, have already sold their souls, and have too many spiky bits to be livestock

Green dragons:
- Are really very concerned about the environment, and only despoil enough to meet their immediate needs
- Bottle their chlorine gas and sell it to arms merchants <--- I like this one!
- Try to walk on tree branches like the guys in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon; fail miserably; and are very bitter as a result

Blue dragons:
- Use Van de Graaf generators like lava lamps
- Rub their feet on plush carpet and zap people with static electricity
- Get into high-speed chases with brass dragons that usually end up like the Road Runner vs Wile E. Coyote

Black dragons:
- Are bad-ass to the max
- Talk in gangsta-speak
- Wield two magic missile wands, one in each hand, John Woo-style

White dragons:
- Talk like Ali G
- Wear baggy pants and point their baseball caps backwards
- Try to be "cool" like black dragons but look faintly silly instead
 

Casts Resurrect on the thread...

Might as well keep this going. Though I'd rather serious items than silly, those are fun too. :)

Gnolls
- Gnolls style their mane. Longer manes mean higher rank within their pack. Often color or braid their manes, either to show off rank or perhaps their family/military association (eg. three bright yellow 'tails' in the mane for Clan Tallowfang).

- Gnolls usually address the female of an encountered group as if she were in command (natural assumption for a matriarchial race).

- Gnolls always gnaw on and crack any bones in their meal. Not only is marrow tasty, it really squicks any lesser humanoids present. :D
 

hong said:
Now while it's true that undead don't _need_ to have sex, we're not talking about behaviours that are absolutely necessary to survival here. It's entirely conceivable that undead, being appreciative of the finer things in life, would want to have sex for its own sake. For example, consider the aforesaid Count Dracula, who seems to have had a thing for cute young English chyxx0rs, in spite of being one of the living dead. Or consider any recent Anne Rice novel. 'nuff said, wouldn't you think?

This boils down to the "Eros & Thanatos" thingie, those sexual deads like Vampire. However, I'd like to say that I would really want to see how skeletons may have sex with each others. Zombies as well. Although more fleshy, the fact that they're so slow and that they fall apart is probably a massive inconvenience to harmonious, fulfilling sexual relationships. Finally, I wonder if any of the incorporeal undead may know an union of the flesh.

And devourers, are they gangbangs ?
 

I'll play too:

Hongs:
- Troll on forums
- Get beaten with a stick
- Avenge themselves with signature quotes
 

Re: Casts Resurrect on the thread...

Gnolls
- Gnolls style their mane. Longer manes mean higher rank within their pack. Often color or braid their manes, either to show off rank or perhaps their family/military association (eg. three bright yellow 'tails' in the mane for Clan Tallowfang).

- Gnolls usually address the female of an encountered group as if she were in command (natural assumption for a matriarchial race).

- Gnolls always gnaw on and crack any bones in their meal. Not only is marrow tasty, it really squicks any lesser humanoids present. :D
Excellent, Kesh! Good stuff. Your second point, about always addressing the female, points to a cool meta-trait. Ogres might always address the largest member of a group, intelligent birds or bird-men might always address the most colorful, etc.
 

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