Three Characteristic Behaviors Per Monster
- Thread starter mmadsen
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Trolls -- Hunch over and stomp their feet like sumo wrestlers before they attack.
Orcs -- Beat great drums before they go on a raid. These drums can be heard over a very long distance, making the villagers panic days in advance.
Goblins -- Insult humans in broken Common, make rude gestures, throw filth on them, etc. -- but only from out of reach. Break fences, steal livestock, etc. to extort cookies from human farmers.
Hobgoblins -- Goose step. Always march in order with magnificent battle standards and symbols of power. Shout a battle cry in unison before charging.
Gnolls -- Cackle eerily. Females dress like males, may be chieftains. Hate lions, even heraldric designs thereof.
Ogres -- Slam their clubs into the ground before battle (to challenge and scare the opponent). When charging, throw around stuff laying about (overturning tables, throwing pots and pans, etc.).
Minotaurs -- Throw their heads back, roaring in defiance. Before charging, scrape their hooves along the floor (like bulls). Chase their prey at leisure, their loud footsteps echoing through their mazelike lair -- since they dont have to rush; they already know where to turn.
Hill Giants -- Lick boulders before throwing them. Love to throw with their mates in waves. Wear multicoloured kilts. Clap their hands after hitting and holding up their fingers to give a rating of their throw.
Kobolds -- Never stand still (except when they're lying in ambush, of course). Even in melee combat, they're continually taking 5' steps at the very minimum.
Displacer Beasts -- Usually napping. Watch birds, squirrels, and other game. Try to scare off enemies after making a kill (to eat safely).
Giant Owls -- Eat Were-Rats and Ratmen. Regurgitate giant pellets (maybe with treasure). Always looking around -- turning their heads 180 degrees.
Treants -- (In tradition of Tolkien's Ents...) Live in geologic time. Speak slowly and laboriously, never succinctly. Remember ancient history.
Blink Dogs - Wag their tails before 'blinking'; like to stand on their hind legs; love to drive normal dogs crazy by blinking in and out.
Hags -- Offer tasty treats. Very maternal and sweet -- until upset. Hate beauty.
Celestials -- Speak in riddles. Only make formal declarations, no small talk. Look through people.
Centaurs -- Always talk in terms of astrology. View any suggestion of riding them as deserving death. Eat both horse and human food for their two stomachs.
Medusa -- Hire models to "pose for a statue", keep cages of mice to feed their hair, decorate their lair with real statues as well as victims.
Ettins -- Argue between heads. Play "good cop, bad cop" (if they parlay at all). Heads fight over food like two dogs.
Ratlings (Nezumi, Skaven, etc.) -- Always sniffing, especially in a new place. Gnaw on wooden objects (spear shafts, staves, etc.) when bored. Attracted to glittering objects.
Yuan-Ti -- Taste air with tongue. Stare -- without blinking -- at people. Bob their heads.
Troglodytes -- Move around a lot when angry or frightened; it helps spread the stench from their musk. If parlaying, attribute the most authority to the worst-smelling member of a group. Change skin color in order to express feelings.
Orcs -- Beat great drums before they go on a raid. These drums can be heard over a very long distance, making the villagers panic days in advance.
Goblins -- Insult humans in broken Common, make rude gestures, throw filth on them, etc. -- but only from out of reach. Break fences, steal livestock, etc. to extort cookies from human farmers.
Hobgoblins -- Goose step. Always march in order with magnificent battle standards and symbols of power. Shout a battle cry in unison before charging.
Gnolls -- Cackle eerily. Females dress like males, may be chieftains. Hate lions, even heraldric designs thereof.
Ogres -- Slam their clubs into the ground before battle (to challenge and scare the opponent). When charging, throw around stuff laying about (overturning tables, throwing pots and pans, etc.).
Minotaurs -- Throw their heads back, roaring in defiance. Before charging, scrape their hooves along the floor (like bulls). Chase their prey at leisure, their loud footsteps echoing through their mazelike lair -- since they dont have to rush; they already know where to turn.
Hill Giants -- Lick boulders before throwing them. Love to throw with their mates in waves. Wear multicoloured kilts. Clap their hands after hitting and holding up their fingers to give a rating of their throw.
Kobolds -- Never stand still (except when they're lying in ambush, of course). Even in melee combat, they're continually taking 5' steps at the very minimum.
Displacer Beasts -- Usually napping. Watch birds, squirrels, and other game. Try to scare off enemies after making a kill (to eat safely).
Giant Owls -- Eat Were-Rats and Ratmen. Regurgitate giant pellets (maybe with treasure). Always looking around -- turning their heads 180 degrees.
Treants -- (In tradition of Tolkien's Ents...) Live in geologic time. Speak slowly and laboriously, never succinctly. Remember ancient history.
Blink Dogs - Wag their tails before 'blinking'; like to stand on their hind legs; love to drive normal dogs crazy by blinking in and out.
Hags -- Offer tasty treats. Very maternal and sweet -- until upset. Hate beauty.
Celestials -- Speak in riddles. Only make formal declarations, no small talk. Look through people.
Centaurs -- Always talk in terms of astrology. View any suggestion of riding them as deserving death. Eat both horse and human food for their two stomachs.
Medusa -- Hire models to "pose for a statue", keep cages of mice to feed their hair, decorate their lair with real statues as well as victims.
Ettins -- Argue between heads. Play "good cop, bad cop" (if they parlay at all). Heads fight over food like two dogs.
Ratlings (Nezumi, Skaven, etc.) -- Always sniffing, especially in a new place. Gnaw on wooden objects (spear shafts, staves, etc.) when bored. Attracted to glittering objects.
Yuan-Ti -- Taste air with tongue. Stare -- without blinking -- at people. Bob their heads.
Troglodytes -- Move around a lot when angry or frightened; it helps spread the stench from their musk. If parlaying, attribute the most authority to the worst-smelling member of a group. Change skin color in order to express feelings.
mmadsen said:
D00d, didn't you post this before? Are you trying to up your post count, or what?
Anyway:
Elves:
- Hate being told their ears look like antennae
- Hate being mistaken for greys
- Hate being mistaken for giant halflings
Forgotten Realms characters:
- Spell their names with Y's instead of I's
- Harbour a secret psychotic desire to kill Drizzt and drink his blood
- Get defensive whenever Greyhawk is mentioned
Greyhawk characters:
- Have names that are anagrams of the players' names
- Run away screaming at Vecna's name
- Get defensive whenever the Forgotten Realms are mentioned
More!
Iron golems:
- Transform into either motor vehicles or dinosaurs, depending on their alignment
- Shoot terrible death rays that lay waste to the city of Tokyo
- Make racist jokes about clay golems
Clay golems:
- Make a wacky "BOINGGG!!" sound whenever someone hits them with a slashing or piercing weapon
- Melt like the Wicked Witch of the West if you pour water on them
- Make racist jokes about flesh golems
Flesh golems:
- Dream of electric sheep
- Live for 30 years and then switch off
- Make origami unicorns and leave them lying around the place
Iron golems:
- Transform into either motor vehicles or dinosaurs, depending on their alignment
- Shoot terrible death rays that lay waste to the city of Tokyo
- Make racist jokes about clay golems
Clay golems:
- Make a wacky "BOINGGG!!" sound whenever someone hits them with a slashing or piercing weapon
- Melt like the Wicked Witch of the West if you pour water on them
- Make racist jokes about flesh golems
Flesh golems:
- Dream of electric sheep
- Live for 30 years and then switch off
- Make origami unicorns and leave them lying around the place
mmadsen said:
Terrible! Must fix that immediately.
Orcs:
- Remind themselves that being a faceless mook is better than not having a job at all (important in these tough economic times)
- Are really quite sensitive and agonise for HOURS after slaughtering a village full of innocents
- Are sick and tired of that damn pie
Trolls:
- Lurk under bridges and chase goats
- Lurk around villages and chase sheep
- Lurk around forums and chase posts
Saeviomagy
Adventurer
Otyugh - will occasionally be willing to trade choice items from its pile for appropriately disgusting pieces of trash. May cultivate a small fungus garden on itself - such gardens often contain rare fungi unable to survive in the local area. Quite territorial, but occasionally willing to share it's lair in some form of symbiotic relationship (certain undead are a favourite as they tend not to consume their prey).
Hong - Accuses posters of posting just to increase their post count, while at the same time posting 4 times in a row. Occasionally capable of making adventurers snicker, but usually makes feeble attempts at jokes which miss the mark or are just plain wierd. Knows elitespeak, but is unwilling to use any of it beyond D00d for fear of being ridiculed.
Hong - Accuses posters of posting just to increase their post count, while at the same time posting 4 times in a row. Occasionally capable of making adventurers snicker, but usually makes feeble attempts at jokes which miss the mark or are just plain wierd. Knows elitespeak, but is unwilling to use any of it beyond D00d for fear of being ridiculed.
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