To Con the Con-man

[Axel]

Perhaps he's not as arrogant as his reputation suggests, but he's certainly immature...

"So magic can use a man like men use magic then? That sounds dangerous."

Alden smiled broadly at the mention of Lords playing the fool. He would have laughed loudly had he been in more familiar company. New acquaintances warranted caution. "You're no doubt right about some Lords acting the fool to trap the unwary and stupid. Still, I reckon that the longer anyone plays a role, the harder it is to lose it. Some Lords might be good actors playing the fool. Others are fools pretending to be actors."

"Now, your problem in understanding your job here is the same as almost every other noble I've run into. Please, forgive me for speaking bluntly here but it seems you can't think of any situation where you're not at the centre. Marty over there wears a lot of different hats in the army. He's needed in a lot of places at the same time. This job isn't as important as the others that he has to do, but until you came around nobody else could do it. You're the solution to Dellex getting Marty back into the main camp and doing something useful again. He probably doesn't care much if you do well or not, as long as Marty can do other things. Make sense?"

It was true, Alden thought. Alex didn't seem able to relate to other people without making it all about him. Even if he is a fool, and not pretending to be one, he might still make a useful idiot.

Alden stopped walking near a large and particularly odorous Gnoll, who was lounging on the grass. "This is Poo-Breath."

"Poo-Breath, this is new boss. You listen to new boss now" he added in loud, slow words. Apparently he considers this an appropriate introduction.

 

[Zerith]

Alexander looked to Alden as the man preached unto him. “Spells allowing a caster to understand a Gnoll, are common. So, if Martomum is in such high demand, then explain to me why Dellex can’t spare even one of the lesser mages delegated to irregulars camp to free Martomum of the burden? Even if none of the mages the camp could spare were able to produce such a spell there are other alternatives: has Martomum ever attempted to teach either you or a Gnoll the tongue of the other? Why hasn’t there been an effort to find someone able to speak Gnoll? A locale of this region is more to know Gnoll than those else were; they have had dealings with Gnolls for a long time, and even if the reactions were openly hostile the odds that no human nor Gnoll learnt the language of the other is preposterously low. If it was as you say, this would have been solved before now. The fact that I’m the first here, aside from Martomum, able to speak Gnoll is also preposterous; a noble from the far side of Pesh is the only human available who can talk to Gnolls.” Alexander commented smugly “The idea is utterly preposterous!” he cackled with a mockingly bellowing tone before they neared the Gnoll, and then Alexander had to ponder: what was more fierce, the look Martomum had shot him earlier or the ordure of the Gnoll. Alexander used the reprieve afforded by Alden talking very slowly to allow his nose to recover from the shock.
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Alexander shifted his eyes towards Alden after he approached the Gnoll. “He seems to believe that by talking slowly thou will understand him.” Alexander commented before turning his gaz towards the Gnoll “However, I now inquire to thy name.” he communicated towards the Gnoll with an air of authority subtly bleeding through as he took a proud, unwavering poster.

 

[HolyMan]

The grizzly gnoll looks on as Alexander speaks to him. His body is scarred heavily across the chest and arms. He looks to Alden and in common says. "No boss, just boy."

"You are odd. One so young who speaks as if he was born a gnoll and not a hairless man-child. My name is Starfinder. And what is yours?" Poo-Breath replies in gnollish giving Alexander a good whiff of how he came about his common name.

 

[Zerith]

Alexander grimed as ‘Poo-Breath’ commented towards Alden and flared his right brow, producing a knowing and mocking ‘ha!’ that either Alden or Starfinder could see and obviously at Alden’s expense; he was just saying the odds that neither a Gnoll nor human could speak the other’s tongue was unlikely and then one spoke to Alden that very minute. “My name is ‘Alexander Ravensworth, the fourth’ and I hold the title of ‘Lord’; the literal meaning of my given name is ‘Protector of Mankind’ and while my title is merely a boon of my birthright. but jadedly calling me a boy, and thus assuming I am unable to fulfill my tasks while not knowing what I can do, invites misunderstanding, if nothing else, from all parties.” Alexander answered and then commented while sizing up the Gnoll; Alexander, for the time being he noted the Gnoll as a clan champion or possibly a clan leader. The Gnoll was not partially old and while Starfinder was scared, he talked with a very direct, deliberate and somewhat diplomatic manner, and not like some brut that simply saw some puny twig limbed human standing before it.

“But onto the matters at hand, Starfinder, I don’t know how much time I have to examine this camp so I shall not wast time; what is thy role here?” Alexander asked the gnoll, unflinchingly before its breath, meanwhile if one peered into his mind they would hind him quietly pleading the stench would vanish before his lungs gave out. 'This is not as bad as getting use to horses, it is worse, oh so very worse…' he thought, but at the same time; his glutinous pride would not let him back off, no matter how much his common sense or nose begged otherwise.

 

[HolyMan]

"I am the guide and pathfinder of the clan." Starfinder says looking truly baffled at the question. "If you are the Protector of Mankind have you come here to bring doom to the peoples?"

To Alden he asks, "Where Stonebreaker?"

 

[Axel]

Alden nearly fell over with the shock of hearing Poo-Breath speaking common intelligibly and in a structured and coherent sentence. "Hello. You. Never. Speak. Before. Why. Now?" Alden began in his slow and limited style of speaking to Gnolls. Some habits die harder than others. He's never spoken Common like he knows it well before! I wonder if he knows what Poo-Breath means...

"Stonebreaker. Gone. Away. Boy. New. Boss." Alden smiled to himself as he added his last "sentence. Today was a great day! Insulting Lord High-and-Mighty twice by implication, and not a thing he could do about it!

"Boss, a moment if you please." Alden stepped away from Poo-Breath to have a private word with Alex. "I know some of the dogs can speak a bit of Common. It doesn't mean that they understand what flank attack, or retreat, or any of those other army words means though. I still reckon you're here to translate orders from The Bear into Gnoll for the stinky buggers. You ready to move on?"

 

[Zerith]

Alexander raised a questioning brow to the Gnoll&'s question that was asked in regards to what Alexander name went; Gnoll's seemed to take names much more seriously than most other races. He was then interested in knowing when a Gnoll was named, or if they had to earn their names; he assumed that it was not at birth, at least one the name they used to their graves. But he could ask that latter.

Then Alden made a fool of himself in front of the Gnoll, by talking even more cumbersomely then before, and then taking Alexander along side. Alden then started explaining something he could already gather. "Think carefully for two seconds and ask yourself 'what are Gnolls known for' and then tell me why they would not just wait until after your usefulness to them had ended, and then boil you alive to make stew? Any successful predator can always understand what its prey says; further, it's much easier for a Gnol; to understand common then speak it." Alexander asked while rising a brow before giving Alden a pearl of wisdom.

"Also ponder about when I zapped you; how many spells did I hit you with? How many did I latter dispel? One? Two? Maybe I only dispelled three. Maybe turning your skin pink was just something flashy to hide what I was really doing. Consider that next time you call me 'boy'." Alexander spoke bluntly before adding "So no, I will not tolerate you using implications to 'poke fun at me' when I wish to do so, I do so myself. Further, you labeling me a boy in front of those I am to command under cuts my authority, my ability to issue orders, my ability to fallow my own orders. Not to mention" Alexander gave a brief and blank pause while he leaned towards, over, Alden "it makes us both look expendable. Think back to what Gnolls are known for."

Straitening back up Alexander gave Alden even more to think about. "Also, even if they can't understand every word it's rather easy to teach anything that a distinctive sound means a simple thing: if not, then you would never see a commander with a horn to sound the retreat. Further I could just take a hoop and have it hold many pieces of paper and then write a single word on each piece: the word on each piece would be written twice, once in common and once in Gnoll. I'd make it a note to include 'Poo' and 'Breath' are on this ring: these Gnolls seem to believe that the meaning of a name is very important, at least Starfinder here took interest at the meaning of mine. But personally, I think that yours is rather ironic right about now, oh old and wise one!" Alexander ended with a light chuckle

Alexander turned his gaze back to the Gnoll; he could have commented that he was given the name at birth, or some such, but for his purposes that was unnecessary, and he could always say so latter without losing face if it served his purposes at a future date. "There is no 'the' is the meaning of my name," Alexander corrected Starfinder; while doing so might have been seen as him lowering his own importance, it also definitively conveyed, there was more were he came from. Given what he was about to say, it also implied that revenge was policy. Alexander then answered the Gnoll's question. "and while my goal is to bring doom; it is to bring it down with fullest furry unto the knife ears until I feel the punishment to a long past injustice has been ratified." Alexnader answered with a seething rage flaring within his eyes from the moment he spoke of the knife ears onwards, then he briefly closed his eyes, took a deep breath, through his partly parted mouth, and then out his nostrils as he dispelled the emotion and then reopened his eyes.
"But worry not, thee, nor thy kin, are subject to my wrath; my lands are to the south west, on the other side of the kingdom much less this territory, and I do not presently believe thee nor thy kin are involved." Alexander then told the Gnoll before turning back to face Alden. "Yes, I'm finished with the pathfinder for now; lead on to the next."

[sblock=OoC]every time I edit my posts go crazy, but n a bad way [/sblock]

 

[Axel]

"That went well then, did it boss?" Alden enquired, facetiously. He wasn't sure he could keep a straight face for the next interview. The Gnolls didn't seem smart enough to catch onto the game he was playing. Either that or they didn't care. Alex didn't seem like he'd caught on either, at least. Pompous git sounds like he's howling at the moon when he talks to the dogs...

The two humans left Poo-Breath behind and headed towards a larger gathering of Gnolls. They were standing around in a circle, watching a thin and wiry looking Gnoll bark and act out some sort of story. The onlookers were growling and what could only be described as Gnollish-giggling at intervals. Presumably in line with what the thin and wiry one was saying. Or doing. Alden found it hard to tell.

As they draw closer to the gathering, the thin and wiry one becomes more distinct. He - it was clearly a he - was above average Gnoll height and had a nose so wet it glistened in the afternoon sun. With the movements required for telling his story to the others small drops were flung off at intervals. Neither he nor the onlookers seemed to care.

"This delightful creature is Wet-Nose." Alden advised, rather unnecessarily. "I'm sure you can see why I call him that" he added, before barging his way through the crowd to stand in front of Wet-Nose.

"Wet-nose. Here. New. Boss. Stonebreaker. Gone. Listen. New. Boss."

 

[HolyMan]

Wet Nose looks on confused as if whatever was being said was spoken way past his comprehension.

 

[Zerith]

Alexander looked to the Gnoll as it took its pause before attempting to remove its confusion. “Stonebreaker has been relieved of command, and so I am replacing him,” Alexander commented flatly without emotion to the Gnoll, thus simply that he had just spoke in definitive fact, while he stared directly into its eyes “also; what is thy role here?” he then asked it with a commanding presence seeping into his ‘words’.

[sblock=OoC]Random comment not sure this was an issue last time but “thy” means “your” ^^;
And I’m thinking I’m going to be able tocopy/past this post in a few days XD[/sblock]