To Game or not to Game, that is the BIG question!

[Asheron]

Ok here is the thing:

We have a D&D gaming group of 5-6 members. Before we started playing D&D we were already friends. One day one of us came up with a PHB, a DMguide and a MM for D&D 2nd edition and we liked it. We started playing regularly and so we grouped 1-2 times a week and played D&D, but most of all we just had fun you know. For 2 years know we didn't just play D&D but we had a bit of fun snacking, drinking, laughing and just relaxed. Untill recently that is.

Our regular DM was dissatisfied with playing for the fun of it, and wanted to start a game more focussed on roleplaying instead of our normal 'hack 'n slash' game. Some of us liked the idea of roleplaying, some of us didn't like it. The DM and one of the players in particular got into an argument and the outcome was that they don't wanna game with each other anymore.
The DM now wants to start a game without the one player, but I'm kinda convinced we shouldn't let D&D come between our friendship and let D&D rest for a month or so, even though I really like the game. We can do a bunch of other stuff like we did before D&D right? (take out the ol' RISK game out of the closet f.e !)

What do you guys think we should do?

Tnx for the advise...

 

[Zappo]

I'd suggest to stop gaming for a while, and play Risk. Strengthen the bonds of your friendship, and make it clear that it goes beyond D&D. I've had the roleplaying vs. hack'n'slash problem IMC too, and in the end I found a good solution in splitting the campaign. Now I run two campaigns, one that is primarily RP-oriented and one that is mostly high level hack'n'slash. One of the players just doesn't want to play in the hack'n'slash campaign, while others dislike the RP campaign. But at least, most of the time, I can engineer things so that everyone is satisfied. For example, when the RP player is absent we play hack'n'slash. If your DM truly loathes mastering hack'n'slash again, which I understand, find within your group someone who is willing to DM in his place. He gets to play, which will undoubtedly make him happy if he's been stuck DMing for ages.

 

[Tsyr]

On the other hand, while I do think a break might be called for, I think it's important to realize that not everyone has the same idea of what "gaming" should be. No way is right or wrong (Welllll... wacking yourself upside the head with the PHB all night with Wierd All blaring in the background, sitting naked on a hot leather couch is PROBABLY the wrong way to play the game...), but they are differen't. Gaming groups do eventualy tend to morph a bit.

Yes, by all means, take a break. Play some of that new LotR risk, or Axis and Allies or Catan or something. But when you do come back, understand that things might not have worked themselves out. You don't have to stop being friends anymore because one person no longer games with you... I've had friends quit gaming, and I'm still friends with them. I'm sure each one of you has some things that the others don't like... It's not really any different if you don't like Rap(*shudder*), for example, and your friends do, or that you don't like Gaming, and your friends do. It shouldn't effect your friendship.

 

[Meridian]

Yet another perspective: perhaps the bonds of friendship *aren't" strong enough to keep your group together. Each individual in the group might have quite a different definition and/or perception of friendship, which would in turn affect the depth to which they are tolerant of one another for a situation like this. Groups do indeed evolve over time, but sometimes friendships don't grow stronger; either they exist by force of habit, neither evolving nor degrading in quality; or unresolved resentments make them sour and rot; or they simply fade away for lack of attention.

Make sure that *everyone* involved thinks it's worth it to try to strengthen those bonds if you don't want it to be a waste of time.

 

[Buttercup]

People change over time. If the DM wants a different sort of game, then he's entitled to it. After all, DMing is a great deal of work. Conversely, if a player wants a particular sort of game, he's entitled to it also. You can still be friends. Just split into two gaming groups. Both groups will probably need to find additional members but that's ok too.

It's all about fun. If everyone isn't having fun the way you're doing it, then something needs to change.

 

[Fenes 2]

People change over time. If the DM wants a different sort of game, then he's entitled to it. After all, DMing is a great deal of work. Conversely, if a player wants a particular sort of game, he's entitled to it also. You can still be friends. Just split into two gaming groups. Both groups will probably need to find additional members but that's ok too.

It's all about fun. If everyone isn't having fun the way you're doing it, then something needs to change.

Amen.

 

[smetzger]

If you have two people who want to DM, you can switch off between the two games playing each game every other weak.

One DM can do the RP game one week and the other can do the hack-n-slash the other. People can play in both if they want to or they can only play in one game.

 

[Fenes 2]

Word to the wise: Do not expect a DM that dislikes DMing a hack&slash campaign to like playing in a hack&slash campaign. My own group partially broke up because I was sick of DMing almost all the time and then getting fed hack&slash-"scraps" by part-time DMs when I did get to play.

In my own shamlessly selfish opinion: If you have a regular DM DMing weekly campaigns for you and you want to DM as well, do not chose a style of game that the other DM hates. It was very frustrating for me, and I would not stand it nowadays.

 

[Umbran]

The DM and one of the players in particular got into an argument and the outcome was that they don't wanna game with each other anymore.

Okay, here's a pretty big question for you - do they not want to game together because they don't agree on the type of game, or do they not want to game together because they had an argument? Is the real issue the game, or the fact that they got heated? The solutions will vary for the two cases.

A couple of points to raise:

1) By your description, the player has never played a role-play heavy game. It isn't fair to refuse without ever trying it. SImilarly, the DM hasn't tried to run a role-play heavy game. He may find he doesn't like it, so he shouldn't be making permanent desicisons on how the game will be run for sure yet.

After folks have had a chance to cool down, the solution may be to try a short test campaign first - say a role-play heavy story arc of six sessions or so. While not exactly the same as a full campaign, it may give people a feel for how it's different. If people sincerely approach this with an open mind, then perhaps they can make more informed decisions.

2) Even if it does come to someone leaving the game, that doesn't mean that D&D has to come between friends. You probably shouldn't be making gaming your main scene for social interaction, so the guy who has left the game should not be out of the circle of friends.

 

[Mistwell]

So typical EnWorld. 15 responses, all different.

You would think he was asking a rules question!