[Vile? Mature] Going Too Far.

[Xarlen]

Last session, I upset one of my players.

I had created a druid who was working with some Blight Magic users. The reason she was working with them, is because she was insane. The blight magic user 'took her under his wing', after nursing her back to health.

The reason she went insane is this: she was an elven druid, who was pregnant with twins. There was an accident; I never spesified, but along the lines of a rock slide, and she had a miscarriage.

Because elves are so intune with nature and life, some Druids regard the beginninf of life as an important event, a part of the cycle, and she was so intune with the child that... She snapped.

(I will note this was an Online game, so I wasn't actually yelling at the PC)

So she was doing rather horrible things when the PCs found her; removing the heart from a living Drow, paticularly. During the fight, she was shrieking at the female PC (female player), calling her sister life. Accusing her of betrayal, holding the scar on her stomach. She came after the PC, paticularly. She called the plants and her animal companion her 'children'.

When it was all over, the female PC held the druid, after the druid accused her of taking her children. The PC talked her down, and held her, and carried her around (Because she really didnt' trust the druid for one thing), and they needed info out of her.

After the game, the player told me they were very bothered by this. That they wished I had chosen a different reason for the Druid's madness. That they were reminded of just how young I am.

I thought this would make the NPC seem more Real. That it would not make them seem like someone else, but that it was a Reasonable thing, and it made that all the more compelling. I wanted sympathy for the druid, I wanted pity, instead of 'Kill her, put her down, she's a threat'.

But I didn't want to hurt anyone.

I feel really bad about that, that I touched a nerve that I didn't think about. That I should have thought about. Did I do the wrong thing? Where are the lines that we aren't supposed to cross?

Anyways, I just had to get that off my chest.

 

[LGodamus]

Sounds very compelling , and I believe just because something is disturbing does not make it a bad thing.

 

[Xarlen]

Sounds very compelling , and I believe just because something is disturbing does not make it a bad thing.

This isn't the disturbing like the 'feel cool you unnerved the players' type that you get from a CoC. This is the disturbing like you really touched a cord that the person doesn't want to hear about sort.

Another player repremanded me that I should have been more careful with this, that I should have forseen the fact this could happen, that it would have bothered the player because, for one, she's closer to it (I have no idea if it's happened in to anyone she's known, but still). Though he said it was an appropriate reason for madness.

All the players are older then me, and it really struck home, when it was commented how really young I am sometimes. That I surprise them sometimes, despite the maturity I show.

That makes me think. Think about what, I don't know. But it just... doesn't feel good.

 

[Dareoon Dalandrove]

What was the problem? You explained the situation but not what the problem was. How old are you? and why does this matter?

 

[Xarlen]

I'm 19. The player is 30.

The Problem is that the subject matter Bothered her. And it bothers me that I touched a nerve for her, and unnerved her.

And I'm wondering if I'm approaching things childishly. Or not thinking of them right, if I should take in the concequences. If I don't know what lines I should cross, and if I'm doing the right thing.

 

[hong]

So how old _are_ you, Xarlen? [edit: nevermind this]

First, note that you succeeded in your aim. The players didn't kill the druid, they kept her alive, talked to her and so on. The very fact that they felt disturbed indicates that you connected with them on a deep, emotional level, and that's not something that's always easy to do.

Let me tell you about the time I DMed a D&D game where the party was investigating the disappearance of a couple of young kids. After some legwork (which included some rollicking moments of comic relief) they tracked them down to a hill in the forest, inhabited by pixies. They were under the impression that the children had been kidnapped, so they were rather surprised when it turned out they'd run away. So they asked the kids what was going on.

It turned out that the kids' father, the baron who owned the local lands, had tried taking on a high-level lich/evil d00d type. All his friends got killed, and the lich got him possessed by a demon as punishment. The demon took control, and forced the baron to molest his children. You could have heard a pin drop when I took on the persona of the six-year-old girl describing how her father had been "touching" her.

Needless to say, they dropped their plan of taking the children back to their father, and returned to confront the father ASAP. In hindsight, this was a damn foolhardy thing for me to do, and it could have blown up completely in my face. But in that particular instance, things worked out well.

Now, I wouldn't make a habit of this. Playing around with players' emotions works now and then, but doing it too much is not only tasteless, but also no fun. People generally play D&D for the chance to get some escapist fun, and introducing real-life nightmares isn't usually what they're looking for.

I'd talk to your player and say that you weren't setting out to screw with their head. If they were really upset, then reassure them that you're not going to do it again in a hurry. In the meantime, you can turn this into an opportunity for the party to put things right. Helping the druid recover from her insanity would be a great way to continue things from here.

Finally, if it's something that disturbs _you_, then needless to say, you shouldn't touch it.

 

[Dragongirl]

I don't think you did anything wrong. Your story sounded like it could happen to me and seemed well thought out. Everyone has things that set them off. I have lost someone I loved to a drunk driver and a brother because of drugs. I know I am sensative to these subjects and sometimes when I hear or read someone just comment oh I got drunk it was a blast, or lets go get drunk I almost want to yell a them. But then I have to sit back and realize this is my problem, not theirs. I think maybe the same thing happened here. Your player has gone through it or knows someone that has and as you said it touched a nerve. Bottomline is, I don't think you did anything wrong and I don't think it had anything to do with your age.

 

[Elf Witch]

I am forty five and in the campaign our group just finished with my character went mad for awhile. Her lover was killed and before we could find someone to raise him his soul was destroyed by an evil wizard which prevented him from being raised. Her familiar died and Lolth caused her to miscarry her baby. It was actually some pretty intense role playing. I played with by seeing and hearing my dead companions.

From what you have said it sounds like you did a bang up job of some good role playing. Sounds to me like the other player has a problem that she needs to deal with. She is the one who is behaving rather childishly. If something happened in real life and she cannot distinguish it from the game then it sounds like she needs to either take a break from gaming or seek some help.

 

[Oni]

Based on what you posted I don't believe that you have done anything wrong. You evidently touched a nerve, but that isn't your fault. Assuming you descriptions of the things that transpired is more or less accurate I would think the accusations of immaturity where a knee-jerk reaction from being placed in an uncomfortable situation.


You do take a risk when you explore more mature ideas (like the death of unborn children) that things may become too tense, or that you may strike a nerve. I think it is a good idea if you want to use stuff like this in your game that you should talk with the players first and be up front and honest with each other about the maturity level and how "intense" you want things to be.


I feel like I have more to say on this, but I'm not quite sure what yet. I'll come back later when/if my thoughts gell.

 

[Xarlen]

Thanks DG, Hong.

The night of the game, those age comments really struck hard. I know they wern't ment nastily, but I try to be as mature as possible, and I thinkt hey were saying I just wasn't Thinking. That I shouldn't have been so careless, insensitive.

I know that Gaming is an excape, but fantasy has a lot of Realism IN it, because it is Still people, doing people things. I just wanted to step aside and not do the bland old 'evil person' act, and make them insane, and give a GOOD reason for that insanity. Because I didn't want the PCs to just kill them. I wanted a little emotion. Just not a disturbing.

But I'm repeating myself.

Dragongirl, I think your little name-picture hologram thingie is neat.