Thanks everyone for the responses.
We're more interested in a board game kind of deal, I think. I mainly don't want us to have to buy a lot of crap, I'd rather just buy a box and maybe some expansions and then be able to roll with it. I think my hierarchy of needs in wargames would probably be simple fun first, followed by simulationism.
I'm thinking about Combat Commander Pacific, because it looks pretty cool. And, if not that maybe Commands and Colors: Ancients. Both of those sound better than my original idea of memoir '44. Really, I'm not interested that much with miniature armymen, tanks an so forth; I don't want to feel like I'm playing with toys.
I'm also kind of looking at the Federation Commander games because... well, because I'm a huge nerd. Does anyone know if they're that great? I'm more interested in having an excellent and fun game than in setting and theme.
Commands and Colors: Ancients is excellent if you want a card driven game like Memoir '44 but want more depth and tactical complexity. It's my favorite of the Borg card driven wargames. Also, war elephants.
Federation Commander is superb. It's SFB lite, which is a good thing. It plays fast, has a good deal of tactical depth, and doesn't require you to memorize a bunch of fiddly rules. I suggest starting with "Klingon Border". It gives you a nice mix of ships, including some classic ones, and in general serves as an excellent introduction to the worlds of FedCom / SFU. And the Klingons are real Klingons: dour Mongolian Communist Klingons. Those are the best kind.