[Way OT] Scientists Find World's Funniest Joke
- Thread starter Morrus
- Start date
Clumsy Bob
First Post
Here's a joke.
Mother Superior takes a young nun into a room and tells her that she is to paint the room from top to bottom. However as she has just received a new habit and under garments she is to paint in the nude as not to spoil her cloths.
A few hours later as the nun is up a ladder painting there is a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" asks the nun.
"It's me, the blind man" comes the reply. The nun looks down, aware of her nakedness but decides not to dress as the man will not see her, "come in" she says.
The door opens and a man carrying a package walks in.
"Nice tits sister, now where do you want this blind."
Mother Superior takes a young nun into a room and tells her that she is to paint the room from top to bottom. However as she has just received a new habit and under garments she is to paint in the nude as not to spoil her cloths.
A few hours later as the nun is up a ladder painting there is a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" asks the nun.
"It's me, the blind man" comes the reply. The nun looks down, aware of her nakedness but decides not to dress as the man will not see her, "come in" she says.
The door opens and a man carrying a package walks in.
"Nice tits sister, now where do you want this blind."
d20Dwarf
Explorer
Ferret in his sig said:
Is it me, or does this sound like something Crichton would say to Zhaan in one of his characteristic (at least for 1st season) rants? Maybe it's just the feverish delerium through which I'm reading this thread.
Why am I posting this? Perhaps it's those season 2 DVDs sitting over there taunting me, unable to be watched until the return of The Girlfriend (TM).
Save me!!!!!!
Piratecat said:
I'm completely Polish, myself, and I've never found these types of jokes to be anything but stupid and offensive. Probably because most of the time I've heard them, the person telling them was actually trying to be insulting. So from where I'm standing, you're not helping...
Galactic Hobo
First Post
Here's one for all the mathematicians out there:
There's an Indian chief name Sokatowa. He has three squaws, and he gives them each an animal hide. One of them gets a buffalo hide, one gets a moose hide, and one gets a hippopotamus hide. Now this last squaw was quite large, being twice as heavy as either of the others.
So as you can see, the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the remaining hides.
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Another joke:
So this baby seal walks into a club.
There's an Indian chief name Sokatowa. He has three squaws, and he gives them each an animal hide. One of them gets a buffalo hide, one gets a moose hide, and one gets a hippopotamus hide. Now this last squaw was quite large, being twice as heavy as either of the others.
So as you can see, the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the remaining hides.
------------
Another joke:
So this baby seal walks into a club.
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RangerWickett
Legend
Two lunatics in an asylum downtown decide during a torrential rainstorm they’ve had enough with asylum life. They want to escape! When the guard brings them food, they attack him and steal his flashlight, then run off to the roof. When they get there, in the pouring rain, they see that it’s only about a ten foot jump to the next roof, from which they can run on free.
The first lunatic takes a running start, leaps across, and grabs onto the edge of the other building. He pulls himself up, then waves for his companion to come across.
The second lunatic looks at the ten foot gap and shakes his head. He shouts to his companion, “I don’t think I can make it! It’s too far!”
“Toss me the flashlight,” the first lunatic replies, and when the second lunatic tosses it over, he catches it. Then he shines the light through the rain, creating a bright, wide beam across the alley. “Here. I’ll shine the light to make a bridge, and then you can walk over.”
The second lunatic puffs up his chest, offended. “What do you think I am? Crazy? You’d turn the light off when I was halfway across!”
The first lunatic takes a running start, leaps across, and grabs onto the edge of the other building. He pulls himself up, then waves for his companion to come across.
The second lunatic looks at the ten foot gap and shakes his head. He shouts to his companion, “I don’t think I can make it! It’s too far!”
“Toss me the flashlight,” the first lunatic replies, and when the second lunatic tosses it over, he catches it. Then he shines the light through the rain, creating a bright, wide beam across the alley. “Here. I’ll shine the light to make a bridge, and then you can walk over.”
The second lunatic puffs up his chest, offended. “What do you think I am? Crazy? You’d turn the light off when I was halfway across!”
RangerWickett
Legend
A panda bear walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and orders some food. The bartender shrugs, and gives the panda his food. After all, he's already seen a monkey, a pair of ferrets, a horse, and a huge variety of foreigners in here in the past few days. What's so strange about a panda?
The panda finishes his beer nuts, then stands up, pulls out an uzi, and begins spraying bullets through the pub. The bartender dives behind the bar, and the waitresses scream and hide under tables, while the bullets chew up the walls, shatter bottles, and blast holes in the furniture.
Then, casually, the panda puts the uzi away and starts to walk toward the door. The bartender stands up from behind the bar and screams at the panda, "What the hell did you do that for?!"
The panda shrugs un-apologetically. "I'm a panda. Look it up." Then he walks out the door.
The bartender sighs, and checks to make sure that none of the other weird animals in the bar are going to pull out automatic weapons. He tells the waitresses to start cleaning up, and goes to find a dictionary. There, he looks up pandas.
"Panda, n. Black and white bear-like mammal. Native to Tibet and China. Eats shoots and leaves."
The panda finishes his beer nuts, then stands up, pulls out an uzi, and begins spraying bullets through the pub. The bartender dives behind the bar, and the waitresses scream and hide under tables, while the bullets chew up the walls, shatter bottles, and blast holes in the furniture.
Then, casually, the panda puts the uzi away and starts to walk toward the door. The bartender stands up from behind the bar and screams at the panda, "What the hell did you do that for?!"
The panda shrugs un-apologetically. "I'm a panda. Look it up." Then he walks out the door.
The bartender sighs, and checks to make sure that none of the other weird animals in the bar are going to pull out automatic weapons. He tells the waitresses to start cleaning up, and goes to find a dictionary. There, he looks up pandas.
"Panda, n. Black and white bear-like mammal. Native to Tibet and China. Eats shoots and leaves."
