D&D General What do I do with a Player who doesn't care about the actual game?

[Warpiglet-7]

This is very important. Get a straight answer. What does he actually want from the game?

Yeah. And be ready for what he wants. Sometimes a person just wants to be around and a part of things but doesn’t like the activity.

D&D really wants participants if the have a character. No shame being just a spectator.

my pal used to watch us play shooters but be hesitant to play himself

 

[Mort]

Assuming you are the DM, the easiest thing to do is just kill his character. Then you will avoid the difficult task of confronting the player and explaining how awful he is.

You have to plan it meticulously so it is not obvious though, have a "random' roll to see who the baddie targets, oh my it rolled you. Make your save against disintegration.

Sorry, but this is absolutely what NOT to do!

It's petty and vindictive;
It will almost certainly be completely obvious and will likely just cause offense;
Even if it's somehow not obvious that it was intentional, it won't solve anything because there's still a question of if the person wants to participate and that conversation still needs to be had - but now it's likely even more awkward.

Bottom line : out of game issues (as this clearly is) need out of game resolution, nothing in game is appropriate or will work.

If this person really is a friend then it's perfectly appropriate to have a conversation that 1) do they want to keep coming or not 2) if they do then to please act with courtesy, if not full engagement.

 

[Umbran]

Assuming you are the DM, the easiest thing to do is just kill his character.

Mature adults should not be trying to solve out-of-game interpersonal issues with unannounced in-game actions.

 

[Zardnaar]

Mature adults should not be trying to solve out-of-game interpersonal issues with unannounced in-game actions.

This. I've had 2 misfires in 5E.

First one did the nice approach twice. Canceled campaign rebuilt party around the 3 players who cared.

Latest misfire kept talking over the DM, talking over the other players, didn't listen and went out if his way to be contrary to myself and the other players.

Missed session 0 where I mention the table rules/expectations.

Turns out he has also be banned and booted from multiple groups with words like dark and jokes about murder suicide and getting worse over last few months.

Got spoken to multiple times but pulled the plug on Wednesday. Then I found out about his previous history and current banning from Warhammer store.

I've heard the horror stories online about these types of players but first I've encountered the more extreme version in second example.

 

[fearsomepirate]

"Hey man, if you don't like the game, I won't have my feelings hurt if you ditch it. We don't have to like all the same stuff."

 

[aco175]

I'm stuck on you not allowing him to play the character he wants. You say that he wants to play the best PC and you say no. Not sure if best means most optimized to do damage or spells or such. Many people play optimized characters this way and there are videos and board questions on how to make certain builds. This may mean that he wants to play, but wants to play a certain PC and he may feel like you are trying to force him into something else to play the game your way. This may be a factor in him checking out.

 

[Zardnaar]

I'm stuck on you not allowing him to play the character he wants. You say that he wants to play the best PC and you say no. Not sure if best means most optimized to do damage or spells or such. Many people play optimized characters this way and there are videos and board questions on how to make certain builds. This may mean that he wants to play, but wants to play a certain PC and he may feel like you are trying to force him into something else to play the game your way. This may be a factor in him checking out.

Players like that still a problem.

My recent one was a powergamer, one if the best archetypes and the highest stats and wouldn't listen when I didn't allow an archetype into the game that would break the game.

That was combined with him ordering the other players around, suggestions things to get them killed, being disruptive when there wasn't anything's to hit.

 

[ccs]

Another problem is that I have spoken to him about what he does, but he still doesn't listen. I don't want to kick him out because he is my friend. Is there another way to make him listen?

No, there isn't.
There are friends you can play D&D with, & there are friends you can't. He's one of the latter.
And he's telling you this. So listen.

So play D&D with one group of friends on game night & just do other stuff with him on a different day/evening.

 

[Tiefling Works]

I'm stuck on you not allowing him to play the character he wants. You say that he wants to play the best PC and you say no. Not sure if best means most optimized to do damage or spells or such. Many people play optimized characters this way and there are videos and board questions on how to make certain builds. This may mean that he wants to play, but wants to play a certain PC and he may feel like you are trying to force him into something else to play the game your way. This may be a factor in him checking out.

Let me rephrase. He will steal people's backstories just so his character is the best. He will attempt to kill a character just because they have an evil alignment, even though they haven't done anything. We allow him to be a character he wants, but he tries to persuade the DM to have events go the way he wants. This is for all our campaigns.

 

[Zardnaar]

Let me rephrase. He will steal people's backstories just so his character is the best. He will attempt to kill a character just because they have an evil alignment, even though they haven't done anything. We allow him to be a character he wants, but he tries to persuade the DM to have events go the way he wants. This is for all our campaigns.

That's a cya later type scenario.