D&D General What Do These People Eat?

[doctorbadwolf]

Gnomes- especially the “tinker”/“artificer” types would be focused more on cooking in innovative ways. A gnomish salamander might actually have a salamander in it. They would experiment with explosives for rapid cooking. Etc.

I don't normally go in for the more comic side of tinker gnomes, but certainly some of that would work even in my games, yeah.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I don't normally go in for the more comic side of tinker gnomes, but certainly some of that would work even in my games, yeah.

“The cook has offered me something he’s calling...‘pepper poppers’ as an appetizer.”

“The cook’s a gnome, right?”

“Yes.”

“Pass. HARD pass. And don’t jostle the plate...”

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Re: lizardfolk and other scaly races

I bet some prefer their meats a little fermented or aged...

Meats fermented in earth will differ in flavor & texture from those fermented in water or hung on racks to dry.

And the appeal of their cuisine to other races may be limited.

 

[doctorbadwolf]

“The cook has offered me something he’s calling...‘pepper poppers’ as an appetizer.”

“The cook’s a gnome, right?”

“Yes.”

“Pass. HARD pass. And don’t jostle the plate...”

Yeah, exactly that. It's funny, and I delight in the puns and such in writing about Dragonlance gnomes. I recall some suppliment or other talked at lenght about a gnomish "inter-net" or "world wide web" or somesuch, that was strings tied to every other gnome, that you could pull on to find a gnome, or some such nonsense. It was hilarious, and every other phrase had at least one pun, building on eachother until there were puns that only made sense having read previous puns that only made sense in the context of Dragonlance Gnomes and their weird mountain home. Brilliant work of comedy.

But it's a kind of comedy that doesn't work for my group and I, in play, so we don't use it. For us to care about a gnomish character, gnomes cannot be just silly pun-vehicles.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

It doesn’t have to be played for slapstick 24/7, for sure. Such things might just be a portion of their cuisine. Not all Scottish food is haggis or pickled earthworms in aspic, after all. Not all Africans eat mopane caterpillars ot termites, and those that do eat other things as well.

 

[MichaelSomething]

It once occurred to me that the average D&D world (edit: forgot to add the word 'world') doesn't have pizza. THE HORROR! THE HORROR!!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

It once occurred to me that the average D&D world (edit: forgot to add the word 'world') doesn't have pizza. THE HORROR! THE HORROR!!

Or nachos,

 

[Minigiant]

Dwarves in one of my settings make food out of spent grain and mash from the beer production process.

 

[MGibster]

For me, Dwarfs love mushrooms and roots, and treat greens, fruit, like we treat spices, rather than thinking of them as food by themselves.

I had my dwarfs eating and drinking German food for the most part. Beer was typically consumed with every mean but hard liquor reserved for special occasions. They had a few farmers who lived on the surface growing grain and they also traded fundaments, precious stones, and metals for food. Cod was an especially popular food since there just weren't many dwarven sailors and they didn't live by the sea.

 

[Tonguez]

IMC I had a gnoll ‘love’ ode which includes the words
“My mate, your stench is like a week old kill that is hung from a tree to rot
Many are those who gather to contend for its meat, but I will strike them all down around me
I will tear out the bellies of our enemies and lay their liver before you
and together we will eat the contents of their stomachs!”

 

[Neonchameleon]

With rare exceptions (shardminds and warforged spring to mind) food is far more cultural than racial other than dietary restrictions; for example I make dragonborn obligate carnivores even if most of their diet can be plant-based (and there are magical supplements available). But a lot of the underground cultures eat mushrooms because mushrooms grow well underground. And almost everyone has a bias towards things that taste like their mother's cooking.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Re: dwarven agriculture
Given how often the bulk of their civilizations are depicted as mountain/subterranean-centric, beer- or for that matter, most spirits- wouldn’t seem like it’s a product they’d invent. Breads would be problematic as well.

Why?

Because most grains aren’t easily grown on mountainsides. (Or in caves, for that matter.)

Rice and grapes, OTOH, can be and often are. Mountains and hills covered with vineyards and terraced gardens with sophisticated irrigation systems might be a hallmark of entering dwarven lands. Potatoes and other root vegetables would be important, too.

So while dwarves may appreciate beers, ales and bread, and even MAKE those, the supplies for making them would largely be acquired via trade.

Beverages like sake, wine and vodka, OTOH, would be right up their alley. Ditto things made from fermented mushrooms. And some of THOSE might be psychoactive. Possibly even DEADLY to other races. Cue “Purple Haze”.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

Daniel Meyer talked about it in a seminar at Origins, if I recall correctly. Thinking about available fuel sources really is an eye-opener.

As for elves, with their long-lives, waiting for the ceviche to do its thing is probably considered fast food for them.

This is a great point.

Also ceviche dovetails nicely with my idea of elves being into foods that require a lot of prep.

Would nom, 10/10.

See also sushi & sashimi!

So, Marmite/Vegemite? Could definitely get behind that.

Dwarves in one of my settings make food out of spent grain and mash from the beer production process.

 

[Tonguez]

Re: dwarven agriculture
Given how often the bulk of their civilizations are depicted as mountain/subterranean-centric, beer- or for that matter, most spirits- wouldn’t seem like it’s a product they’d invent. Breads would be problematic as well.

Why?

Because most grains aren’t easily grown on mountainsides. (Or in caves, for that matter.)

Rice and grapes, OTOH, can be and often are. Mountains and hills covered with vineyards and terraced gardens with sophisticated irrigation systems might be a hallmark of entering dwarven lands. Potatoes and other root vegetables would be important, too.

So while dwarves may appreciate beers, ales and bread, and even MAKE those, the supplies for making them would largely be acquired via trade.

Beverages like sake, wine and vodka, OTOH, would be right up their alley. Ditto things made from fermented mushrooms. And some of THOSE might be psychoactive. Possibly even DEADLY to other races. Cue “Purple Haze”.

there are some grains adapted to Alpine areas though (Spelt, Rice), and there are a few Asian beers around that use a mash that contains a mix of rice sweet potato.

But yeah I tend to agree that Dwarfs are more likely to brew Spirits than beers

 

[Xeviat]

My dwarves are carnivores, and their poison resistance makes them have to drink a lot to get drunk, so they either abstain or they DRINK A LOT. Farming dwarves live on the surface, growing grain to feed their livestock, while subterranean acclimated livestock live underground and eat the grain.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

there are some grains adapted to Alpine areas though (Spelt, Rice), and there are a few Asian beers around that use a mash that contains a mix of rice sweet potato.

But yeah I tend to agree that Dwarfs are more likely to brew Spirits than beers

I did include rice...but I had no idea about spelt! Thanks for that.

Also- technically, despite sake being called rice wine in the West, it’s actually a beer.

 

[Bohandas]

Possibly relevant:

Giant in the Tavern

Do you have ideas for an alcoholic beverage that would be made by a certain race, class, alignment, or extraplanar beings of the D&D world. If so, post them here. Bonus points and a +10 Holy Flaming Longsword to anyone who posts an actual recipe. A few examples from me Elvish Wine: A very...

forums.giantitp.com

 

[Guest 6801328]

So here's the thing about sushi: I think it's a great model to hold up about how extreme care with very simple ingredients can become a culinary work of art. But I wouldn't just have elves making sushi. At least partly because we (or, at least, I) already have really strong cultural associations with sushi, and it's not leven.

What I'd do is take that idea, that aesthetic, and apply it to something more elven. Like, maybe flowers are their thing, and they carefully prepare these beautiful, single-bite delicacies out of flower petals. Or something like that.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

So here's the thing about sushi: I think it's a great model to hold up about how extreme care with very simple ingredients can become a culinary work of art. But I wouldn't just have elves making sushi. At least partly because we (or, at least, I) already have really strong cultural associations with sushi, and it's not leven.

What I'd do is take that idea, that aesthetic, and apply it to something more elven. Like, maybe flowers are their thing, and they carefully prepare these beautiful, single-bite delicacies out of flower petals. Or something like that.

Sushi is just an example. Pick a cuisine or a subspecialty, and you’ll find chefs creating edible artwork.



There was a cooking show episode in which, as a finishing touch to the preparation of the fish, it was encased in a bread crust...which had a fish-scale pattern.

 

[Bohandas]

Over on Giant In the Playground there's a thread that's for coming up with names for books that might appear in an NPC's library. It occurs to me that a lot of the names I've submitted are culinary in nature (usually due to being an obvious food related pun on some real book). Here's a list of the food related ones

Spoiler

The Starving Peasant Diet
Cooking With the Weird Sisters
untitled journal of a bullywug's experiences working double shifts at an icecream parlor for a month
Anatomical Similarities of the Beholder and Potato
The Gold Pullet on the Prairie Grimoire - purports to explain how the "hen that lays the golden eggs" may be conjured and controlled by means of "secret herbs"
The Joy of Cooking People
The Classic Of Filial Cannibalism
Parsley Sage Rosemary and Thyme: Cooking For Elven Knights
Lembas Bread Tiger
A Field Guide to Edible, Inedible, and Bellicose Fungi
They Eat What!? A Cultural Encyclopedia of Bizarre Foods
Codex Nuttella
Eating People
The Mayo On Everything Diet
Eat People, Not Plants
Her Eaten Children
The Lager [sic] Catechism
The Hero With 1000 Sandwiches
The Book of Tasty and Healthy People
Fantastic Beasts And How To Eat Them
The Dark Meat Poultry Grimoire
The Book of the Prophet Jambalaya
The Chicken Florentine Codex
Mysteries of the Tequila Worm
The Frugal Cannibal
The Frugal Cannibal Military Handbook
The Frugal Cannibal Cooks Three Ancient Corpses
The Frugal Cannibal Cooks A Whole Family
The Cook's Guide to Anarchy
The Book of Fatty
Light Crystal Rhymes
Chronicles of the Kings of Albacore
Annals of Salsbury Steak
The Vision of Charles the Morbidly Obese
Ice Without Water
The Book of Curing (a treatise on salted meats)
The Exegesis of Omnomnom
Record of Rumored Recipes for Sushi
The Marmalade Psalter
The Iodized Psalter
The Law Codex of Vindaloo
The Booberry Tales
The Me-Gusta Codex
The Song of Rolaids
The Trip of Tacos
The Book of Crumpet
How to Eat A Child
Quaternion Mathematics in Crop Rotation
Lo Crostini
The Gouda Purana
On Food and Cooking: The Mythos and Lore of the Kitchen
a cookbook aimed at hound archons featuring several recipes for squirrel and imitation squirrel
Ketchup On The Rye
The Madness of King Beer
The Tragedy of McDonalds
The Taming of the Stew
The Book of Ecclescakes
The Mahaburrito
The Queso Service Cross
a diet book that just says "Eat [REDACTED] and die!" over and over and over again
The Frugal Cannibal Cooks A Wino
Magical Cooking and Nutrition
The Book of The Earl Grey Tea
The Hours of Maria de Haricots Vert
Bearnaise Chronicle
The Seasoned Psalter
The Once and Future Burger King
One Fish, Two Fish, Dead Fish, Stew Fish
Discourse on Pasta

Although admittedly the only one there with a clear message on in-world cuisine is the one with the recipes for imitation squirrel for hound archons to eat