She is not at all antagonistic, but sometimes I feel that there is a sort of disconnect between her very real-world simulationist approach, which takes joy in the anthropological details of language, clothing etc, and my heavily pulp-fantasy approach, which is aiming more at the mood and feel of swords & sorcery, fantasy and myth, rather than reality.
Coming at it from an angle as a person who LOVES the anthropological details of everything, here's a fairly simple fix:
Make them clearly supernatural monsters.
Things that are basically humans in funny clothes can be hard to suspend disbelief for -- even many other humanoids fall into the camp of "well, they have a culture!" It's kind of like asking a doctor to suspend disbelief while you describe how magic heals wounds instantly -- it's going to be hard to do.
But the less recognizably human they are, the easier it is to say "Oh!
FANTASY!"
Make them unnatural. Fangs and bestial animal heads and obviously supernatural powers. Tentacles. Eyestalks. Demons or devils. Extraplanar. Alien. The only thing "humanoid" about them is their shape.
OR, just use actual monsters. This is D&D, a raiding group of savage barbarians can just as easily be a raiding group of savage...I dunno...beholders.
The less recognizably human these things are, the easier it will be to resist the impulse to say "Ah! The fact that they are wearing wolf pelts means they use the wolf culturally and symbolically to signify their ferocity! The wolf is an honored animal among them!" and such like.
And, of course, throw her a bone when dealing with other cities. Think about the clothing and language of people from another kingdom, or orcs or dwarves or whatever.
Give her stuff to work on, and make sure to keep her away from the stuff you don't want her working on, and you should be able to have the kind of psychological effect you want. Keep them horrific, alien, and bizarre, and make them less linked to the logic of humanity.