What do you think?

[tburdett]

Ok forgive me but I have to ask how did he freak out your wife, what did he do LOL?

When we first met she had the idea that ALL gamers were like this guy. We all dressed up in funny clothes and pretended to be our characters, literally, when we played. I think she confused a lot of Ren Fair and SCA stuff with D&D.

When this guy showed up I think it kind of 'reset' her mental picture of gamers. He seemed to be too into the game, too out of touch with reality for her. I think he reminded her a little too much of my father, who has caused numerous problems in the past because of his mental and personality problems.

 

[Dragongirl]

I think it would be better to take him aside and talk to him about it. One on one, not the whole group and him. See if he is willing to wear normal clothes, etc.

 

[Theuderic]

Well you could always just tell him not to wear the costume stuff anymore. Of course he might freak out. Just how weird is this guy?

 

[tburdett]

I think it would be better to take him aside and talk to him about it. One on one, not the whole group and him. See if he is willing to wear normal clothes, etc.

I tried to explain to him, one on one, that it would be best if he didn't show up wearing all of his gaming 'outfit' after the first session. He apparently didn't, or couldn't, remember that between sessions because he wore the exact same outfit to the session the following week at my house.

 

[tburdett]

Well you could always just tell him not to wear the costume stuff anymore. Of course he might freak out. Just how weird is this guy?

If you read the message to Dragongirl you will see that I did try to do this.

I wouldn't call him weird, just different. He obviously had some difficulty separating fantasy from reality at some level. He didn't give me the 'dangerous' feeling that I've had at times when dealing with my father, but his differences were very obvious.

 

[tburdett]

My main goal in posting this was to find out if any one else has had a similar experience.

I've met some people at conventions who, while not as far removed from reality as this guy, were fairly close and I assumed that others would have had experiences gaming with them.

Maybe conventions are the only place that these people are able to game?

 

[Dragongirl]

I tried to explain to him, one on one, that it would be best if he didn't show up wearing all of his gaming 'outfit' after the first session. He apparently didn't, or couldn't, remember that between sessions because he wore the exact same outfit to the session the following week at my house.

Well that is too bad. Since you have children I can understand your wife not being terribly pleased with him being there. Well at least you know what to ask the next person you want to test out.

1) What do you wear at gaming sessions.
2) Do you own any real magic items?

 

[Buttercup]

OK, wait a minute. I'm perplexed that everyone seems to be acting like this is no big deal. If he had showed up at my door, I wouldn't have let him in at all. Nor, I think, would my husband.

First, he was showing up at the house of *strangers* to game. Dressing up in silly clothing under those circumstances shows extremely poor judgement, if nothing else. Even if someone talks to the guy and gets him to stop wearing armor in future, he's still a bit scary. Second, Tburdett's wife has a right to feel safe and comfortable in her own home. Were I in her shoes, I certainly wouldn't with this guy around.

So maybe he's mentally ill but harmless. Not Tburdett's problem. D&D is not therapy. Besides do you want to take the chance with your wife and kids?

 

[Theuderic]

Buttercup has a point .

 

[Drew]

You know who would be a good source of advice on this topic? Bugaboo. Yup, I'll bet bugaboo would know what to do here.