What to due about a stubborn DM

[BWP]

Me and my group have started a new campaign and so far the adventures have been both fresh and very fun.

Congratulations!

So the problem is what, exactly?

 

[BSF]

Me and my group have started a new campaign and so far the adventures have been both fresh and very fun. The only down side is that they are also very very hard. Due to combats that are overwhelming or simply runing and adventure for to long (ie: used spells, potions, abilities ect.) twice a PC has lived only by obvious "fudging" of the dice. The other problem is that we are playing very virtuous characters and our DM has givin us no shortedge of bad events but whats wrong is that despite everything we do we still seem to always fail in some way. Our DM is acting as if even if we do stop whatever is wrong he will still make something bad happen anyways. The DM in question is a very old friend of mine and long time gaming pal and was always a PC in my campaign's. But at the slighteset mention of these concerns he became quite offended and is now being stubborn. Me and the other PC's don't know what to due. Please any advice is welcome.

Ask point blank what style of game is being run. Don't be confrontational and don't be passive-aggressive. Just ask what is up. As the DM what his gaming philosophy is. Ask questions.

You mention that no matter what, you seem to fail in some way. Please eleborate. Is it that there are two events happening at the same time and the 'solution' is that the PCs are the deciding factor in success for one of those? I have run scenarios like that. The point is that heroes make a difference and if the PCs are the only heroes around, they are the deciding factor.

Or is that you are trying to be the deciding factor and every single time you just aren't good enough to stop bad things from happening? That would be frustrating.

Or is it that you are successful and by virtue of your success, something new and unexpected crops up? That may or may not be a bad thing. Except if your entire group isn't enjoying the game, then you have a fundamental mismatch between expections of the players and the DM.

Communication is always the first step. One thing the players need to do is understand what kind of game you are expecting and will enjoy. Try to put your expectations into very clear terms. Then realize that your DM might not be able to communicate his expectations as clearly. What he defines as heroic fun might be different than what you define as heroic fun. So don't be ambiguous. Lay out clear examples of what you expect. Also keep an open mind. Allow your DM to explain his side of things without assuming he is wrong. You need to find out where your differences come from and then work on meeting a common ground where everyone is happy with the game. You don't need to degenerate into finger pointing and bad feelings.

 

[LostSoul]

Our DM is acting as if even if we do stop whatever is wrong he will still make something bad happen anyways.

Are these bad things lame, or are they cool? Do they make logical sense, or do they seem like arbitrary smackdowns that the DM pulls out of his ass?

Sometimes you won't have all the information and it'll seem like the DM is just screwing you over because he can. (He only can if you let him.) So if something seems stupid, ask him what's up. "What's going on here? Help me see the big picture so I can enjoy the game more." If (assuming this is the case) he won't tell you what's going on because it will ruin your surprise, tell him that it's no fun because your suspension of disbelief is ruined. If he still won't tell you, leave, because he's on a power trip.

edit: Give us some examples, too. That would help you figure out what's going on, and I like to read them.

 

[Rev. Jesse]

I second what everyone said about communication; you need to talk to the DM. You also need to talk to the other players. If they aren't having fun either, you should itemize your complaints and go to the DM together and express them. Explain what you expected, how you feel you are getting the shaft, and what you think would be more enjoyable. Follow merelycompetent's advice and contact him on some off day.

One option, if this fails to obtain results, is to select a new DM for a short adventure as a breather. Have the group pick someone who is going to play in the style that the majority of players would enjoy and you can then take the results back to DM #1 (who should play in this breather, of course) and show how the two styles are different and explain how and why one is more enjoyable then the other. Hopefully, you can get your friend to DM again and he'll learn a little.

When you say the campaign is too hard, do you mean the encounters or that the goals are too difficult to achieve? If it is the former, you must take action as having 1st level characters getting smashed by trolls is no fun, but if you instead mean that the goals you have been given don't seem achievable, then it is possible that the DM maybe setting you up for some meta-plot. This seems unlikely, however, as he becomes defensive when approached.

I'd hate to tell you to give your friend the boot from the DM seat, but your group may have to if you aren't having any fun.

I bet everyone posting here has had bad DMs at some point. Take heart, a unfun game has a tendency to wind down, but the group will probably stick together and go on with a superior DM.