What's a 'dumpy' tavern like?

[Emirikol]

All: I've been in some modern day dives that would be considered imperial mansions for most fantasy taverns, so what's a 'dumpy' fantasy tavern like?


jh

 

[Kilmore]

Well, first the weather inside is just like the weather outside, only worse. If a gust of wind would be bone chilling and miserable, there would be one. If it would be refreshing, there would be none to be found. All the legs on the bar stools are uneven, or if it uses tree stumps, they feel like they were chewed off by a beaver with lockjaw when you sit on them. The grease that they use for the lamps came straight from the pot the fetid stew was served from, and sputters and stinks filling the tiny little room with acrid smoke. The rude dirt floor sits half a foot away from your boots under a layer of dirt, mud, sawdust, alcohol, blood, vomit and other bodily fluids less wholesome. Five or six sticks dully crackle in the soot and ash entombed fireplace behind a bent and rusty grill producing a garish flickering orange light that is less visible than darkness.

 

[Torm]

Probably one that is run in a small town as one of several businesses in the same site that the "barkeep" has going to make ends meet. He serves passable drinks (many of which are brewed on the premises), poor meals, does light (and poor quality) smithing, knows a little something about horse care, and has a room for let - at too much money for the converted part of a stable that it is. Possibly the barkeep's daughter, wife, and/or mother is for let, too, but whether they are or not, they are certainly "staff" for the "inn". Most likely has a bar that is contained inside, and several tables inside his fence that are not, and are uncovered or have umbrellas or a cloth canopy.

Maybe he even has another job away from the place, and only opens after he is done with that for the day, or for occasions when conditions would seem to warrant it - like if the town has a holiday that draws people, or other circumstances that bring strangers to town.

 

[Torm]

Plus, what Kilmore just said about the furniture (stools, tables, etc.) being homemade and crude.

The rest of what he said would probably depend on whether you envision your barkeep as smart enough to figure out that simply going al fresco would be better than that.

 

[orchid blossom]

Hmmm, a dumpy fanatasy tavern.

Well, I'd say the floor is covered with straw that has probably been there longer than the barkeep has been alive. People would feel free to bring their animals in, dogs, pigs, goats, etc. So that straw, along with holding vomit, and being moldy probably also had animal leavings, and possibly human leavings as well.

And of course dark, smoky... peat fire in a fire pit in the center perhaps. Buffalo chips can also be burned for their own peculiar brand of stink. Not much for windows to air the place out.

Rats in the alcohol vats as well as running around freely inside. Falling apart furniture, rough hewn, maybe termite eaten. That's all I can think of for now.

 

[Torm]

To clarify, do you mean 'dumpy' as in slightly overweight 30-something lounging around in sweatclothes, or 'dumpy' as in literally belongs in a dump?

 

[dungeon blaster]

Wanna make it dumpy? Eating the food forces a check for Filth Fever.

The floor is damp dirt, covered in a thin layer of rotting straw. The ceiling creaks and dust constantly falls through the roofbeams and into your soup as people upstairs walk around. Rats scurry under the tables, leaving droppings everywhere. The window shutters are broken so a freezing breeze gets in, and so do animals at night. The food is disgusting, the beer is watered down. The people on the floor above throw the contents of their chamber pots out the front window and onto the ground in front of the entrance such that it gets tracked in. The tables are rickety and stained with old food and blood. The few lanterns create noxious fumess that somehow manage to remain in the tavern despite the freezing air blowing in.

 

[Kilmore]

The surly inbred diseased patrons have no place on earth that they'd rather be.

 

[dungeon blaster]

Maybe it's the only place where lepers are accepted. Then the PC's would feel bad about destroying it when the lepers cry....

 

[Torm]

Wanna make it dumpy? Eating the food .... despite the freezing air blowing in.

I'll agree that there would be some chances for disease (food, the "chambermaid") or other problems (like going blind from a bad batch of the liquor), but unless the whole world is ignorant of "clean" as a virtue (which is possible, people used to think bathing frequently was sinful) and there's nothing better for even passers-through to compare to, simple market forces would do in a place like this, I would think. Someone else would open something a little nicer and put it out of business. Even criminals who would use such a place to conduct business would either get sick and die, fail in their criminal activities and no longer patronize the place, or do well enough to open a better front to operate out of.

Of course, this all depends on whether Kilmore is going more for realism or to make a literary impression on his players.