When Bob wants to play a female PC

[Gez]

Let me second BelenUmeria's remarks here. If people don't shape up, I'll start answering S'mon's question. To quote Trailer Park Boys, "when you're being pelted with s**t balls, deputy, you better take out a s**t bat."

Are you threatening to call us all perverts?

When I started this whole thread I thought I was somewhat open-minded. I felt a bit guilty about asking one of my players to change his back-up character from female to male. I came to the boards to see if, indeed, that was wrong of me. I truly believe I could have been convinced that my request was heavy-handed, and I'd have changed my position. As was mentioned, I've had gamers play female characters in the past (though, to be honest, I'd have preferred they hadn't).

Tell me about it. Had I read the thread before posting, then I wouldn't have bothered, 'cause my post is drowned in the four-way quasiflamefest between you, die Kluge, Belen, and Fusangite... :\

It is far more difficult for a male player to play a female character. It's jarring, because that's an intrinsic characteristic that we think we've already categorized. You're required to constantly remind yourself, "Oh yeah. He's not male, he's female."

And it's friggin annoying.

Put the man on the other side of a computer screen, and you remove that obstacle.

Here's something that could help.

Play in the third person.

Rather than saying "I do this or that", say, "s/he does this or that".

That's what I use. For all my characters, be they male or female.

In fact, I alternate first-person and third-person. First person is almost always used in combat, and is mostly used in conversation, third person is mostly used for non-combat actions, character descriptions, and discussions when I don't feel inspired enough to invent my character's speach and instead paraphrase it (ie, "she diplomatically tries to calm that band of drunkards, I rolled 23 on my Diplomacy check" rather than spouting something half-arsed like "listen, gentlemen, let's look at this with a clear head, whose interests do you think you are serving precisely by rioting with your torches and pitchforks?").

I think it helps a lot to forget about all characteristics. You're no longer trying to remember that Bigbeard Bob, here, is a cute halfling woman. You're just remembering that he's the puppetmaster behind this "Linda" character. It becomes no weirder than asking a male writer what one of the female protagonists in his novel series will do in the next book.

In combat, you're moving miniatures, so it's not a problem to use first person -- you don't see Bob, you see the miniature Bob's hand moves on the mat.

 

[apesamongus]

Females exist. Gnomes do not. When we are sitting around a table we can all see if someone is not playing a female correctly.

Answer one of the two following questions...

#1 What train or set of traits do all women possess the lack of which would demonstrate a incorrectly played female character.
#2 What train or set of traits do no women possess the presence of which would demonstrate a incorrectly played female character.

If you cannot answer at least one of those, then you are talking out of your ass, because there is no such thing as playing a female correctly or incorrectly.

 

[Lasher Dragon]

Aha Gez maybe this is where things get weird for some people. All the groups I game in use minis. As a matter of fact one of my favorite things to do when I start a new character is shop for the mini. I then have my buddy paint it (he is incredible) and there's my character, be it male or female, right there where everyone can see it. Now I can kinda see where people are coming from on the other side of the fence if they don't use minis at all and just roleplay the whole shebang. In that case I can kinda see their side of the argument - not that I agree with it, but at least now it doesn't seem so laughably preposterous.

 

[Crothian]

Answer one of the two following questions...

#1 What train or set of traits do all women possess the lack of which would demonstrate a incorrectly played female character.
#2 What train or set of traits do no women possess the presence of which would demonstrate a incorrectly played female character.

If you cannot answer at least one of those, then you are talking out of your ass, because there is no such thing as playing a female correctly or incorrectly.

Allow me to speak out of my ass then

In different setting s the role and personality of any creatures can be defined in a specific way so narrowly that they can be played incorrectly. You are looking at this from the scoop of modern times which does not work in most games that are based off of mideval societies and roles, though poorly.

Playing a character wrong is more then just getting the traitrs and personality wrong. It is also about playing the character in a way that disrupts the rest of the group.

 

[Seeten]

Great thread. I fall in the `"play a lot of cross gendered pc's category". I have a DM that doesnt allow it, which results in less interest in his game, but I still play. I more just show up and roll dice than actually rp in that one, and I really go to see my friends and have pizza, not to play D&D. The lame D&D game is an excuse to socialize.

It isnt that I cannot come up with an interesting male concept, or even that I dont play males, but I want to play the character that interests me. I dont want to play the character that interests the DM.

Lets take Fusangite, as an example. I respect his posts, and he sounds like he runs a game that'd be fun. But, how much benefit would there be to a female character played in-type, who fit into medieval society, had medieval thoughts and outlook, and instead of being feminist, accepted her lot as chattel, but wanted to be "the power behind the scene" or whatnot. I can see tons of roleplay opportunity from that, plus the interaction with the other PC's, which would enhance, not detract from, the setting.

I wouldnt allow any character to be rp'd in a way that was awful. Male, female, or it. If it was setting disruptive, it wouldnt fly.

I understand why the people feel as they do, I just dont feel that way myself.

 

[Arnwyn]

Just answering the questions:

What I am interested in is whether any of you other cats have run into this so-called problem.

As the DM, have you asked or encouraged a player to not play a PC of the opposite gender?

Nope, never - but that's only because I know my players. I'd be a bit leery if it were a stranger (but, since strangers aren't welcome at my game, it's a moot point).

As a player, do you enjoy playing a character of the opposite sex? If so, why? If not, why not?

I never have, and I'm not sure if I ever will. Based on my playing style, I see little point in doing so.

As DM or player, do you get squirmy when Bob brings his attractive female half-elf to the gaming table?

Nope. (Again, because I know my players.)

Was I wrong to encourage my player to switch from a female to a male PC?

Not if it makes you uncomfortable.

 

[Wulf Ratbane]

Sexual ambiguities? Care to explain what you mean by that??

Must have taken it away from your prior posts. Sorry if I misunderstood you.

 

[rgard]

Hi all,

I have a confession to make. Recently, one of my players and good friends asked to make a female back-up character. The player is male. I asked him to switch the back-up character's gender.

I rarely, if ever, deny a player's request to play a certain type of character. So long as it's balanced within the game, I'm cool with it. But...not this time. This time I used DM fiat to change his mind.

In short:

If Bob wants to play a quarter-troll/quarter-elf/half-dwarf with traces of drow lineage...OK.

If Bob wants to play Elfmaiden Lauriel the Fair of Aspenreach...not OK.

I'm not posting this to get flamed, though I expect that could be one of the consequences. And I'm not posting this so others can convince me that cross-gender roleplaying adds so much more to a campaign world. I'm posting this to see if I'm alone when it comes to this uneasiness.

I've DM'd homosexual characters and homosexual players. Got no problems with that. I'm confused in many ways, but my sexual orientation isn't one of them. So I don't think this feeling stems from any weird Freudian voodoo.

I don't know why it bothers me, and I suppose I'm not really interested in finding out. What I am interested in is whether any of you other cats have run into this so-called problem.

As the DM, have you asked or encouraged a player to not play a PC of the opposite gender?

As a player, do you enjoy playing a character of the opposite sex? If so, why? If not, why not?

As DM or player, do you get squirmy when Bob brings his attractive female half-elf to the gaming table?

Was I wrong to encourage my player to switch from a female to a male PC?

I know the best advice for a DM is to let the players play whatever character type they'll enjoy the most. This will benefit the campaign and increase everyone's enjoyment. Yada, yada, yada. I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment...but I can't get over the Bob As An Elf Maiden hang-up.

Maybe it's just me...but I'm hoping that's not the case. If it is, it'd mean I'm the weird one. And that would do irreparable harm to my feelings.

Pudgy D

Hey Pudgy,

I personally don't have a problem with cross-gendered PCs. I would have a problem if the male player showed up for the game session wearing a chainmail bikini he made in his spare time...so that he could be more 'in character'.

That said, it's your campaign and there is no point in you being made to feel uncomfortable. You 'da DM!!!

Thanks,
Rich

 

[Allensh]

I generally try to discourage cross-gender roleplaying because frankly, I have seen very few players who can actually pull it off. The women played by men wind up TOO masculine and vice versa. But I don't disallow it; if someone insists, I let them. The problem in my most recent group was one guy played his female character like she was...well...perpetually hormonal, if you get my drift. It offended the female players in the group, frankly. There were other issues with that character -and the player- that were far more important than the gender one.

Allen

 

[Lasher Dragon]

I would have a problem if the male player showed up for the game session wearing a chainmail bikini he made in his spare time...so that he could be more 'in character'.

Dude, if that happened in any game I played in, I would literally be crying... that would be so freakin funny