When Bob wants to play a female PC

[kenobi65]

Your next question is a good one, and I think you may be on to something there. I have female friends. I have gamer friends. I do not have female gamer friends. Mind you - that's a result of circumstances, not personal choice. Maybe it's just because I'm ugly. Does that influence the way I feel regarding this issue? Quite possibly.

Well, I dunno about the ugly part (though your avatar ain't Brad Pitt ), but, IME, all-male groups tend to have a bit of a different vibe to them. There sometimes feels to be a little more testosterone in the air, a little more of the "bring the hurt to the bad guys" attitude. Not always, certainly...and I've known plenty of female players who are all about "bringing the hurt", so maybe this is too much of a generalization.

But...if you're used to playing in an all-male environment, I can see where the idea of a female (be it a PC or a player) might rock your world. In that all-guy group I mentioned earlier, they invited my wife (a very experienced player) to join them. After a few months, they were very embarrased to admit that they just weren't comfortable playing with her. The game just felt different to them -- I think, in part, because they viewed it as an escape from their normal lives with their wives and kids -- and they didn't like the change.

In the end, you're playing an RPG because you want to have fun. If some aspect isn't fun for you, or your players, don't use it. Me, I ban evil PCs in our groups...but I know some players who love that. Different strokes for different folks. As long as this isn't a serious bone of contention between you and your player, I'm not sure I'd worry so much about it.

 

[WayneLigon]

Was I wrong to encourage my player to switch from a female to a male PC?

Maybe it's just me...but I'm hoping that's not the case. If it is, it'd mean I'm the weird one. And that would do irreparable harm to my feelings.

If it honestly makes you that uncomfortable, I'd say 'not really' but personally I'd think you might should look into why it makes you that uncomfortable. Assuming that Bob plays a perfectly reasonable female character, of course.

Sorry; in my experience it does make you the weird one. I've never personally known of a GM to refuse a player his choice of gender for a character.

 

[Lasher Dragon]

OK Brennin, since you are obviously are of higher mental/moral quality than lowly me, how would you handle this situation:

A person you game with has had a sex change, one way or the other. What can they play?

A person you game with was actually born a hermaphrodite. What's your ruling?

Like you said earlier, people can vote with their feet. In your case, I certainly would.

 

[Brennin Magalus]

Next thing ya know, you'll have these kinda rules:

Fat players cannot play skinny PCs, and vice-versa.
Young players cannot play old PCs, and vice-versa.
Wanna play any kind of caster? Well better prove to me you know magic first.
Wanna be a rogue? OK go hide in the yard, and if I find you, sorry, you weren't meant to be a rogue.

LMAO

In your case, you would be barred from playing a character with anything percipient or mature to say.

 

[Torm]

I pretty much always play a slight variation on one of three themes:

1. Thor - this is a huge friendly Paladin or fighter type.
2. Someone kinda like Malcolm Reed from Enterprise, lanky but somewhat muscular in spite of it, aristocratic yet friendly enough to be approachable - this is a wizard, rogue, or ranger type
3. A 4'10" female of slight build, modelled on a girl I knew in high school who could whip serious ass and still pull off being a lady - this is a bard (noble), rogue, or wizard type, although I did play her one time as a Paladin.

So like Henry said, I play about 70% male/30% female. But I don't think I have any problem playing women - my females' behavior is modelled on a real woman. And, I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

 

[John Morrow]

And with that admission, it looks like I lost my only somewhat "justified" defense for my actions.

One doesn't always have to justify a matter of preference or taste. Pick a healthy food that you don't like and won't eat. Now "justify" why you won't eat it against claims that it's "good for you". If you can't, does that mean you should force yourself to eat something you don't like, just because it's good for you?

I'd say a quick sampling of the replies thus far confirms my fears: I'm weird. I wish I were more surprised.

Well, don't expect a lot of people to stand up and agree with you when doing so is going to result in them being called mentally insane or worse. And also don't make the mistake of assuming that people who post replies to online message boards are necessarily "normal".

 

[Rackhir]

Well, I know I used the word 'hang-up', but I really don't see it as that. Or, at least, I didn't see it as that until the flood of anti-Destan posts came tumbling into my inbox. Now I'm fairly certain that I belong to a very, very small minority on this issue. While that doesn't necessarily mean I'm wrong, it certainly doesn't help my cause.

So...let's call a spade a spade. I have a hang-up about this issue.

Your next question is a good one, and I think you may be on to something there. I have female friends. I have gamer friends. I do not have female gamer friends. Mind you - that's a result of circumstances, not personal choice. Maybe it's just because I'm ugly. Does that influence the way I feel regarding this issue? Quite possibly.

I'd have to say you've given me some food for thought, kenobi.

I don't mean this as a general indictment of EN World, but it seems a lot of us are very quick to psychoanalyze things.

Could it, possibly, perhaps, mayhaps, be that we all just have different likes and dislikes? If someone doesn't agree or particularly enjoy a certain aspect of gaming, does it always need to be rooted to some childhood trauma? Our society seems to want to throw any odd views into the lap of a therapist, or trace their foundation to the day that a duck ate someone's pet dog.

Bah, I'm rambling now. I'd type more, but I'm having a hard time seeing the keys through my tears.

You bunch of meanies. (Yes, Darkness, I'm looking at you!)


D

Anyone who's sending you hate mail over a post like this is a a$#^%@$#. You have been honest, upfront and clear about your having a problem with this. While I don't happen to agree with you on this point, I can not fault how you have approached the issue. You have not tossed around any obnoxious statements or insinuations about people who do run opposite sex characters. People who disagree with you on this are shaming themselves if they can't state their disagreement without being at least as polite.

Re: Female Gamer Friends - While I am told such people exist, in my experience they have almost always been a gamer's SO. So it's nothing to do you I'd guess.

I am surprised that you do have this hangup. Have you had bad experiences with this in the past? Perhaps in games where you weren't the DM? I've never really run into it myself, but I can easily see male gamers being obnoxious when playing female characters. However I see that as a problem with the player rather than the cross-gender char. People can be jerks no matter what the situation, but sometimes it takes specific circumstances to bring that aspect out. I would judge it on a case by case basis, but I suspect anyone who would be obnoxious when running a different gender character is probably someone you aren't going to want to be gaming with anyway.

I like running characters who are ripped off from various sources and so sometimes they are female, but when I do I am trying to have them act like the character they are based on. Which helps to eliminate stereotype problems (at least if the char isn't one already).

 

[Lasher Dragon]

In your case, you would be barred from playing a character with anything percipient or mature to say.

No need to get all defensive just because you are in the minority here.

 

[Brennin Magalus]

OK Brennin, since you are obviously are of higher mental/moral quality than lowly me, how would you handle this situation:

A person you games with has had a sex change, one way or the other. What can they play?

A person you game with was actually born a hermaphrodite. What's your ruling?

Like you said earlier, people can vote with their feet. In your case, I certainly would.

You forgot the asexual alien from another galaxy.

 

[Belen]

Next thing ya know, you'll have these kinda rules:

Fat players cannot play skinny PCs, and vice-versa.
Young players cannot play old PCs, and vice-versa.
Wanna play any kind of caster? Well better prove to me you know magic first.
Wanna be a rogue? OK go hide in the yard, and if I find you, sorry, you weren't meant to be a rogue.

LMAO

Dude, you're being a bit rude. No need to fling insults. IME, Destan has always been a good guy and a great ENWorlder.