When players clash

[fusangite]

If this happened in my circle, there would be a clear interpretation:

This guy is trying to quit the game. He doesn't enjoy the playing/GMing style but feels you guys are pressuring him to keep showing up by exacting promises from him, etc. So, periodically, he drags himself out for a session and regrets it.

Put this guy out of his misery. Stop talking to him about the games and recruit a player to replace him. You don't need to kick him out of the game. He's trying to quit. Let him.

If you let him quit without any social confrontation (or, ideally, even mention of this), your friendship will survive just fine. I've had a number of friends quit my games because my GMing styles has changed. It has never ever harmed our friendships. Indeed, the friendships have improved because this source of social friction has been removed.

 

[Ferox4]

If this happened in my circle, there would be a clear interpretation:

This guy is trying to quit the game. He doesn't enjoy the playing/GMing style but feels you guys are pressuring him to keep showing up by exacting promises from him, etc. So, periodically, he drags himself out for a session and regrets it.

Put this guy out of his misery. Stop talking to him about the games and recruit a player to replace him. You don't need to kick him out of the game. He's trying to quit. Let him.

If you let him quit without any social confrontation (or, ideally, even mention of this), your friendship will survive just fine. I've had a number of friends quit my games because my GMing styles has changed. It has never ever harmed our friendships. Indeed, the friendships have improved because this source of social friction has been removed.

This is some solid advice. Let him go and focus yourself on your campaign and the players that DO like to be there.

 

[jasper]

The dilemma is that ending a gaming friendship largely ends the non-gaming friendship.

Are you still friends with everyone you went to kindergarden?
.... elementary ?
.... Jr high / middle school?
... high school?

Friends come and go in your life. Time to let this one go.
Also friends are not total goobers most of time.

 

[diaglo]

i'm reading into this situation also and agree with fusangite

 

[Goblyns Hoard]

OK - I'll take the bad guy role here...

Just dump him. He's not bothering with the game and not making any effort to get involved, or to let anyone else enjoy the game when he is around. Just stop telling him when/where you're gaming. If he really wants in then let him make the effort.

I had a similar situation in which we had a player (and occasionaly GM) really ruin a few games in a row for us. We were just a year or two older than you guys at the time. He wasn't making any effort to play along with the group (often raising IC in-party conflict even when we had asked him to lay off) or on the few occassions he ran games to write stories for/about the PCs (a big emphasis in our group at the time). We decided to simply require he made an effort to contact us or arrange a game, anything that indicated he wanted to continue gaming with us. And yes we were friends outside of gaming, though pretty similar to you that had been waning. It's been about 6 years since we did that and none of us ever heard from him again. The only thing we regretted was that it only left three of us and we had to play in a small group until we hooked up with some other players.

So it might sound brutal but if he isn't making the effort and he's disrupting your fun, just ditch him... if he want's back in he has to make an effort to be part of the group and not ruin everyone else's fun.

 

[Darmanicus]

The guy sounds like a jerk. He throws tantrums and actively winds several members of the group up on a regular basis.

Get rid of him and get rid of him quick. He wastes all your time and effort and for what?

If it were me, I'd tell the whining maggot to p*ss off and stop wasting my time.

So, about that soon to be vacant seat at yer table..........

 

[robberbaron]

We have a player who doesn't often turn up, so we just assume he won't and welcome him when he does.

Haven't had an abusive player but, if we did, he'd be offered a kicking.

No-one should have to put up with abuse, whatever the reason so just get rid of him.

 

[JoeGKushner]

Been there. Done that.

Life is too short to play crappy games.

 

[Darthjaye]

I think the gist here is you should try to find a good way to let him know you feel he's done with the game. Some people just show cause they are creatures of habit. They don't want to play anymore, but they show cause it's expected of them, then they bitch and whine and kill it for everyone. He may or may not be a bad guy, but you as the GM need to tell him you think it's better for him not to game with your group anymore. Sometimes people feel that what's in their head is advertised for all to see. They need to communicate better. They feel that by acting out, others will notice and understand. They convince themselves they've done, said, or heard things that in fact may not have occured. They have issues in their head to figure out on their own.

 

[Harmon]

I don't know guys seems to me that Aerodm has a player that is going through something away from the table. What that is? We don't know.

We had a Player that would say he'll be at the table at 1 and not show or call until 4. It was rude, did he have a good excuse- nah, not usually, some times it was work (did he bother telling us- "have to work til 4," no he didn't) some times family stuff (did he call? Nah). He was a good Player, and at the time a friend so it was allowed even though it pissed everyone off, because it was rude and disrespectful to everyone.

Point is- how good of a friend is he? One person can answer that. Is he worth the time and effort? Depends on your definition of friendship.

I guess I am a little more hard headed. Talk to him- let him know what he has done to you and the others, if he doesn't think he's done you wrong and blows you off then he was never a friend and say "laters, dude."

If he apologizes (whether or not he agrees with your thoughts that he might have been wrong) then he is a friend and worth keeping as such.

For me- the emotional damage was more then I wanted to endure, and he never made the effort to apologize. That tells me- the friendship was one sided.

I hope you figure out how to handle it- rough times make some of the best friendship, because it tells you who your true friends are.