When players clash
- Thread starter AeroDm
- Start date
Pbartender
First Post
BlackSilver, consider this...
In the group I play with, we are all very good friends and get along pretty well. We would not play together, if we didn't. Every week, before the game starts, may wife and I cook dinner for whoever wants to show up early, and we sit, eat, drink and chat about what's going on in life. Sometimes we all get together to watch a movie, or have a barbecue or whatever.
However, we are under no delusions that the D&D game is more important than anything else going on in our lives. And while we all enjoy a few hours of gaming everyweek, we also are under no delusion that D&D is the sole basis of our friendships. We treat our RPGing as the geek equivalent of a weekly poker game.
In the last year or so, we've "kicked out" two players, and one left of his own accord. It happened because real life was interfering with their attendence to the point where keeping them around was simply too much trouble.
Each one of them was told, "It's not working. We're going to look for someone else to play in your place. Take time off from the game, and do what you need to do. You've got our phone numbers and you know where we live, we'll be here if you need us. If things get straightened out, let us know, you'll always be welcome in our game."
We've kept in touch with all of them, and get together with them when we can. One of them rejoined the game for a year, only to leave again.
And sometimes, just sometimes... People are jerks who are no fun to play with.
Remember, roleplaying games are just that... games. People can be friends without them. Don't fall prey to the Five Geek Social Fallacies.
In this situation, if I was the GM, I'd tell the guy straight... "Look, we're good friends, but you never show up for the game. When you do show up, you act like a jerk and you ruin everyone's fun. If you really want to play, shape up and play. If you don't really want to play, don't. We can always go see a movie next Friday instead. Alright?"
In the group I play with, we are all very good friends and get along pretty well. We would not play together, if we didn't. Every week, before the game starts, may wife and I cook dinner for whoever wants to show up early, and we sit, eat, drink and chat about what's going on in life. Sometimes we all get together to watch a movie, or have a barbecue or whatever.
However, we are under no delusions that the D&D game is more important than anything else going on in our lives. And while we all enjoy a few hours of gaming everyweek, we also are under no delusion that D&D is the sole basis of our friendships. We treat our RPGing as the geek equivalent of a weekly poker game.
In the last year or so, we've "kicked out" two players, and one left of his own accord. It happened because real life was interfering with their attendence to the point where keeping them around was simply too much trouble.
Each one of them was told, "It's not working. We're going to look for someone else to play in your place. Take time off from the game, and do what you need to do. You've got our phone numbers and you know where we live, we'll be here if you need us. If things get straightened out, let us know, you'll always be welcome in our game."
We've kept in touch with all of them, and get together with them when we can. One of them rejoined the game for a year, only to leave again.
And sometimes, just sometimes... People are jerks who are no fun to play with.
Remember, roleplaying games are just that... games. People can be friends without them. Don't fall prey to the Five Geek Social Fallacies.
In this situation, if I was the GM, I'd tell the guy straight... "Look, we're good friends, but you never show up for the game. When you do show up, you act like a jerk and you ruin everyone's fun. If you really want to play, shape up and play. If you don't really want to play, don't. We can always go see a movie next Friday instead. Alright?"
Pbartender said:
My impression is that people truly in thrall to the Five Geek Social Fallacies aren't interested in listening to reason - 'reason' being
1. That you can be friends with someone without RPing with them
2. Just because you RP with someone, it doesn't necessarily mean they're your friend - maybe they'll become your friend, maybe not
3. Friendships (and RP groups) can end
4. It's ok to ask Cat Piss Man to leave.
& such bloody obvious observations.
Treebore
First Post
I think whether or not your a friend of who you game with depends on how you join a group. For instance, the group that I am currently in. I made friends with one of them in another game he and I played in. Am I friends with the other 4, including the GM? No. I like them, I believe I get along with them, but I am not their friend in anything other than a very minimum way. Could we eventually become real friends? I think so, but only time will tell. Time we don't have because I will be moving to another state in the next few months.
So even though I play the game with them, that is all we share, except for the one I made friends with initially. So I can say we are friendly towards one another, but we defintiely are not friends in anyway that means a tight bond exists between us. We seem to game together just fine. Unless I have been missing something.
So even though I play the game with them, that is all we share, except for the one I made friends with initially. So I can say we are friendly towards one another, but we defintiely are not friends in anyway that means a tight bond exists between us. We seem to game together just fine. Unless I have been missing something.
Sir ThornCrest
First Post
OK I NEED A SHRINK NOW!!!
Thorncrest
Thorncrest
The sentiment is extended, given time I believe as you do. As does Khaira. 
Our group started as twenty four years ago, I learned to play AD&D with one of our Player's Mom's. We knew each other and there was little more then that. I left the group, created another, then left that one to join Coyote6 and DJ in the formation of my third group. A Player was located from my past by chance and she joined.
The long time friend that I mentioned is my most trusted friend (aside from my wife).
Coyote6 and DJ became friends over the years of gaming, I have placed a lot of time and effort into the relationships (it takes work to forge good friendships).
If you want friendship you have to work at it. One of those friendships has come to pass
, but he has not left the table.
Good luck with your relationships, work at them, be patient and allow for the third chance once in a while, after that its just not gonna work out.
Hay, Silver, I think that might be it- oh, never mind I think you need to start a thread to chase that question you have.
Our group started as twenty four years ago, I learned to play AD&D with one of our Player's Mom's. We knew each other and there was little more then that. I left the group, created another, then left that one to join Coyote6 and DJ in the formation of my third group. A Player was located from my past by chance and she joined.
The long time friend that I mentioned is my most trusted friend (aside from my wife).
Coyote6 and DJ became friends over the years of gaming, I have placed a lot of time and effort into the relationships (it takes work to forge good friendships).
If you want friendship you have to work at it. One of those friendships has come to pass
, but he has not left the table.Good luck with your relationships, work at them, be patient and allow for the third chance once in a while, after that its just not gonna work out.
Hay, Silver, I think that might be it- oh, never mind I think you need to start a thread to chase that question you have.
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