When will my group ever accept me?

[Thia Halmades]

Gettin' on with grrrlz

IF you're working at being a better gamer, AND they've opted to still be cruel, then I would suggest a head on confrontation, asking what the big deal is. People (despite gender) like to feel they're superior to others; whether that's because they're open about their hobby, or aggressive about how you choose not to be, seems to be the central conflict. My primary suggestion is to talk to them directly, stand your ground, and force them to come up with an actual reason for their behavior.

Odds are, they're picking on you because they can, and it makes them feel better about themselves. Forcing people to articulate that often puts them in their place.

LCpt. Thia Halmades

 

[Raven Wintervale]

A few other responses got to the heart of it, but didn't call you out on it.

If you are too ashamed to admit to "normies" (muggles? mundanes?) that you game... you are indirectly saying that you are ashamed of these girls as friends. That is beyond RUDE.

You requested advice and while this reply might seem a bit rough, its honest and probably along the lines of what the girl calling you a nerdabee is thinking.

When I read Stevelabny post my first reaction was, well I was a little shocked. But after I thought about for a while, I think I can see where Stevelabny (is coming from. I guess I need to just admit it. I kinda got that Hint from the other posters as well, but Stevelabny just came right out and said it.

Much like posters told Raven not to take the insults the other girl, me and the other girl are refusing to take the insult from Raven.

She doesn't seem to realize that what she's doing is insulting. She's no longer being mean on purpose. That's great, maybe now that she sees it from the other side, and how her actions are insulting, she will fix the problem on her end. Then it will fall into the other girl's lap to see if she softens too

I think that DonThadow and Pbartender also hit the nail on the head.

Wow I can't believe I get Steve's point. Karma is a mutha and its nothing but Karma coming back around. Not saying its right but it seems to balance things out. When I first read it I thought it was just girls being catty but this seems to be about them not liking you because you don't acknowledge their existance other than when you want something "the game".

Look, Raven, you're a cool kid... Or at least you were at one point, right? Now, you've surrounded yourself with the very people you use to publicaly look down on. You admit it yourself. What's more, you refuse to publicly announce to the people closest to you the thing you share with these people that very nearly defines them as a social group.

Actually Don's post calmed me down enough to reread Stevelabny post again, to see what he was really getting at. They're right I didn't acknowledge that I found gameing my last two years of High School and I'm still doing the same thing. I thought I grew up and got beyond the point where popularity meant something to me. Maybe I've haven't grown up as much as I thought I had.

I think it's time I have a talk with my boyfriend as to what I've been doing on my Saturday afternoons. I think I should tell him right off, but as for my other friends I think it would be a little odd to just flat out tell them but I woun't hide it from them either, so if it comes up it comes up. We'll see what happends from there.

 

[Raven Wintervale]

Let me answer a few questions that were asked

did you ever pick on these girls specifically?

No I met them here at college.

So... Your boyfriend plays roleplaying games, but for some reason you don't want to tell him that you do too? Explain this to me. It makes no sense no matter how I look at it.

No. My boyfriend in High School played RPGs. We're not together anymore.

 

[Desdichado]

He's been around Reveal too much. Now *that's* a bad man! (I know he'll take that as a compliment....)

Keep your hands off of him, Darth! Reveal is mine. In a gay prison movie kinda way.

 

[sniffles]

No, no, no; I'm flirting with Rel!

Gah! My eyes!! I'm blind!!! (and I don't even know you guys!)

 

[Desdichado]

Gah! My eyes!! I'm blind!!! (and I don't even know you guys!)

Rel, reveal and Joshua Dyal. Ménage à trois of HELL!

Everyone make a SAN check now, please.

 

[reveal]

Rel, reveal and Joshua Dyal. Ménage à trois of HELL!

Everyone make a SAN check now, please.

Failed!

 

[Desdichado]

Failed!

[size=-2]Oh, crap! What's he doing here so early?[/size]

Hey, honey. You remember Rel? My friend!?

Hey, come back! We're just friends! Nothing was going on, I promise.

COME BACK! I PROMISE I'LL BE FAITHFUL!!!!


Next on Maury... Gaming Geeks and their bizarre love triangles...

 

[Lady_Acoma]

Owie my head hurts...

 

[the Jester]

I think it's time I have a talk with my boyfriend as to what I've been doing on my Saturday afternoons. I think I should tell him right off, but as for my other friends I think it would be a little odd to just flat out tell them but I woun't hide it from them either, so if it comes up it comes up. We'll see what happends from there.

I think this is great. You're making a great stride forward.

Tell us- and your group- how it goes.

As to your friends, just leave your Player's Handbook out in your living room the next time they are over. It's a pretty blatant way to express your gaming side.