Where do babies come from?

[Jack Simth]

I too quivered with anticipation.

So it was good for you, too?

 

[Theo R Cwithin]

I too quivered with anticipation.

So it was good for you, too?

Eww. Get a room.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Yes, given the subject matter of the thread, I was curious to see who would be the first to fall for the deliberate pun in public. Seriously, the thrust of that one was hard to miss. I could have put it to bed with something a bit more subtle, but I figured I could drive the point home with it just fine.

I don't get it.

 

[RUMBLETiGER]

Honestly, it's a wonder any of Us reproduce.

 

[Theo R Cwithin]

Pffft. Don't be silly. We're gamers.

 

[Tharkon]

I could have put it to bed with something a bit more subtle...

Put it to bed, subtle indeed.

And this thread may be titled "Where do babies come from?" but I haven't actually seen any babies in any campaign I've been part of.

 

[RUMBLETiGER]

Put it to bed, subtle indeed.

And this thread may be titled "Where do babies come from?" but I haven't actually seen any babies in any campaign I've been part of.

Ran a campaign that took place in a large city. the PC's had made their way to the city, were new in town, wanted to build a reputation for being hardy adventurers and all that.

I had made a JOBS OFFERED board in one of the sections of town, PC's selected various jobs offered as a way to build their rep.

Two Minotaurs, trainers in one of the cities Coliseums, had an ad out for a babysitter. Their toddler, a 4'6" adorable bundle of muscle affectionately called "Demmie Molly", needed a sitter. Job included keeping her entertained and putting her to bed. Bludgeoning weapons only.

The actual job involved her playing "House" with the PC's, and I'll leave it to your imagination as to what a baby minotaur who is the child of two combat-training parents considers normal daily living, than they played the game called "Go to Bed" which involved seeing who could get the others unconscious first. Demmie Molly was very experienced at the game, but in the end the Party put her to sleep, and one of their own was asleep as well.

Good times. Hurray for Babies!

 

[RUMBLETiGER]

There was actually a chain of babysitting missions, because I created a few mission chains that as they progressed, would draw the PCs into deeper aspects of plots within the city. One mission chain was "Assistant Exterminators" in which the PC's helped a halfling clean various critters out of the sewer. As missions progressed, they'd stumble upon a black market smuggling operation that used the sewer tunnels as passageways, that would ultimately connect to a plot of the Mayor of one of the city sections being connected to orginized crime, and a Mindflayer who was trying to subvert the city.

I digress. other babysitting missions. One was to spend the night with an infant child who was a "Chosen One", a naturally powerful sorcerer 6 month old, who was the fulfillment of some prophecy or another. You know, those kids are a dime a dozen. The problem was in the baby's sleep, he'd run the risk of summoning creatures out of his dreams. I had a chart worked up with various Summon Monster creatures and applied the Psudonatural template to make a twisted nightmare. I had the PC's sit in the nursery, than I rolled a d6 to determine if anything appeared. the dice was in their favor, no monster popped, and they got to be paid for an uneventful night.

There was a third babysitting mission I'm forgetting now, but the 4th one was going to involve watching over the child of a Noble family, a family involved in the City parlament (The City was the captial for the surrounding country), the PC's would be watching the child and I'd do my darndest as a DM to see that the kid would be kidnapped, drawing the PC's into some of the political intrigue and eventually leading to an audience with the King. We never got that far into the campaign so that one went unused.

 

[S'mon]

Two Minotaurs, trainers in one of the cities Coliseums, had an ad out for a babysitter. Their toddler, a 4'6" adorable bundle of muscle...

Sounds like my 4 year old!