In my extensive collection of old tabletop roleplaying games I've never played there shines a gem. A gem based on a television show which gripped audiences of the 1980s as wealthy oil barons feuded and the same question was on everybody's lips: who shot JR?
Of course, Dallas was on TV nearly 40 years ago. I'm sure there are plenty of folk asking 'who or what is a JR and why should I care who shot him?' And for those people, I have no answer.
Yes. There was an official Dallas tabletop RPG. It was published in the 1980s. And I have it right here. It's a boxed set, as many games were back in the 80s, containing booklets and cards for use in play.
This is not a review, for who is truly qualified to review such a cultural artifact? Let us take it as read that this is probably the pinnacle of tabletop roleplaying game design and leave it at that. Instead, we'll just satisfy ourselves with an unboxing.
What's in the box?
No, that's not a line from the ending of Se7en. Well, it is. But it's also a vital question we must ask when confronted with the wonder that is the Dallas RPG.
The box contains three booklets -- Rules of Play (13 black-and-white pages, including the rules and three adventures); Major Characters (20 pages of stats for the main cast of the Dallas TV show, from JR Ewing to Cliff Barnes to Sue Ellen); and the Scripwriter's Guide (13 pages telling you how to design and run an adventure). Of course, don't call them 'adventures'; they're episodes.
The main rules booklet has paper covers, a black-and-white interior, and no art except for some photos on the cover. The first page deals with the game as a whole, introduces the Director (the GM), and describes the components in the box. We then get 3 pages of rules, followed by three 3-page Episodes (adventures) -- The Great Claim, Sweet Oil, and Down Along the Coast.
The rules are simple but it takes a lot of effort to figure that out, because they're not very clearly written -- the tone is less 'breezy TTRPG rules' and more 'electronics technical manual' crossed with 'IKEA build instructions'. But once you've parsed them by rereading the same paragraphs over and over again, they're not complicated. Players use pre-generated characters (there are no character creation rules here!), each with their own victory condition and secrets. The game runs through some predetermined scenes, and then players check to see if they've fulfilled their victory conditions.
This thing reads like a boardgame rather than a roleplaying game.
When characters come into conflict, they compare their abilities, roll some dice, and see whether the Affecting character is successful vs the Resisting character. I won't explain the exact mechanic; it doesn't matter. But I did have to read it several times. Conflict resolution is divided into Persuasion, Seduction, Coercion, and Investigation. This game is a minefield. I'd recommend a very frank discussion between the players beforehand, because players rolling dice to seduce each other leaves the field wide open for problematic interactions. I was expecting cheesy 80s shenanigans when I started this article, not this!
It's presented as a PvP type endeavour -- at the end you total up points to see who has won. If you fulfill your victory conditions, you're a winner, and if there's more than one winner, they're ranked according to an accumulation of victory points. Teamwork is not really the name of the game here. Still, if you've seen Dallas the TV show, you'll be expecting that.
Let's look at a character. And, of course, that character must be JR Ewing, because he's first, and it will require me to turn fewer pages. Also, he's the character everybody's heard of. Apparently male character can throw their weight around (so non-male characters cannot?) and JR is the most powerful character in the game. Also, he's a big meanie.
So that's kinda it. Dallas the Television Role-Playing Game. Will I play it? Almost certainly not. Will I actually read it in detail? Very unlikely. Why do I have it? Who knows. Do I feel bad for writing this article? Definitely. But I will leave you with the theme music, which will probably stick in your head for days. It did mine.
No ten-gallon hats were harmed in the writing of this article.
Of course, Dallas was on TV nearly 40 years ago. I'm sure there are plenty of folk asking 'who or what is a JR and why should I care who shot him?' And for those people, I have no answer.
Yes. There was an official Dallas tabletop RPG. It was published in the 1980s. And I have it right here. It's a boxed set, as many games were back in the 80s, containing booklets and cards for use in play.
This is not a review, for who is truly qualified to review such a cultural artifact? Let us take it as read that this is probably the pinnacle of tabletop roleplaying game design and leave it at that. Instead, we'll just satisfy ourselves with an unboxing.
What's in the box?
No, that's not a line from the ending of Se7en. Well, it is. But it's also a vital question we must ask when confronted with the wonder that is the Dallas RPG.
The box contains three booklets -- Rules of Play (13 black-and-white pages, including the rules and three adventures); Major Characters (20 pages of stats for the main cast of the Dallas TV show, from JR Ewing to Cliff Barnes to Sue Ellen); and the Scripwriter's Guide (13 pages telling you how to design and run an adventure). Of course, don't call them 'adventures'; they're episodes.
The main rules booklet has paper covers, a black-and-white interior, and no art except for some photos on the cover. The first page deals with the game as a whole, introduces the Director (the GM), and describes the components in the box. We then get 3 pages of rules, followed by three 3-page Episodes (adventures) -- The Great Claim, Sweet Oil, and Down Along the Coast.
The rules are simple but it takes a lot of effort to figure that out, because they're not very clearly written -- the tone is less 'breezy TTRPG rules' and more 'electronics technical manual' crossed with 'IKEA build instructions'. But once you've parsed them by rereading the same paragraphs over and over again, they're not complicated. Players use pre-generated characters (there are no character creation rules here!), each with their own victory condition and secrets. The game runs through some predetermined scenes, and then players check to see if they've fulfilled their victory conditions.
This thing reads like a boardgame rather than a roleplaying game.
When characters come into conflict, they compare their abilities, roll some dice, and see whether the Affecting character is successful vs the Resisting character. I won't explain the exact mechanic; it doesn't matter. But I did have to read it several times. Conflict resolution is divided into Persuasion, Seduction, Coercion, and Investigation. This game is a minefield. I'd recommend a very frank discussion between the players beforehand, because players rolling dice to seduce each other leaves the field wide open for problematic interactions. I was expecting cheesy 80s shenanigans when I started this article, not this!
It's presented as a PvP type endeavour -- at the end you total up points to see who has won. If you fulfill your victory conditions, you're a winner, and if there's more than one winner, they're ranked according to an accumulation of victory points. Teamwork is not really the name of the game here. Still, if you've seen Dallas the TV show, you'll be expecting that.
Let's look at a character. And, of course, that character must be JR Ewing, because he's first, and it will require me to turn fewer pages. Also, he's the character everybody's heard of. Apparently male character can throw their weight around (so non-male characters cannot?) and JR is the most powerful character in the game. Also, he's a big meanie.
So that's kinda it. Dallas the Television Role-Playing Game. Will I play it? Almost certainly not. Will I actually read it in detail? Very unlikely. Why do I have it? Who knows. Do I feel bad for writing this article? Definitely. But I will leave you with the theme music, which will probably stick in your head for days. It did mine.
No ten-gallon hats were harmed in the writing of this article.
