Well, I tend to just let the player pick that stuff. I think the guy is being overly anal.
The whole "Roleplaying vs Rollplaying vs powergaming" argument is bogus here. Its an argument being used to distract from the fact that the DM is being a control freak. Like, come on...he's gonna get sticky because you want to have a cat as a familiar? I could see it if you wanted something non-standard...like a Displacer Beast, but a cat?
This, and the spell selection, are very, very basic choices that you should be able to make on your own. Ask the guy if he wants to roll your hit points for you too. Ask him if he wants to roll on a table to see what color cloak you should wear. Every time a situation comes up that requires a choice on your part, ask him if he wants to roll on it.
And if he says "but I thought you were a roleplayer" again, tell him a real DM would be able to handle you picking your own spells and familiar (within the rules) and would be able to roll with whatever came up. (then kick him in the d20s) Its your game too. When you're talking about eliminating a player's basic PHB choices, the whole "its his game to do with as he pleases" thing is hooey.