Pathfinder 1E Who should nourish the others at Paizo?

[Ranger REG]

So!

Here at Paizo, we've been hit by a blizzard. As in, most of us are probably going to be stuck here at the office overnight. Fearless Publisher Erik Mona has already left for home, but we expect him back in a few hours, his fancy car abandoned on the on-ramp to the bridge.

Anyway. We've been stuck here for nearly 20 minutes, and the subject of cannibilism has finally come up. We can't decide who goes on the grill first though, so I thought we'd enlist the help of ENWorld to determine who should go first!

Can't vote what I can't see.

Who has the most meat?

 

[Lilith]

LOL! Too too funny...

My vote is for whoever keeps saying "No" to the Age of Worms hardcover. I'm a recipe nut - I may have recipes for Long Pig somewhere.

 

[catsclaw227]

I mean, let's face it. It's not like Readers Digest has ever given me that kind of assurance.

Since we are the "Readers", the group at Paizo would be more like "Publishers Digest". And we all know that publishers digest much quicker that readers. That's why they are eating each other.

 

[James Jacobs]

Woo HOOOO!

As in... I MADE IT HOME! YAY! And the commute was only 70 minutes long! Huzzah! I'm pretty sure the rest of Paizo made it home as well; we all left at about the same time.

After the hunger was taken care of (Phil was quite delicious), we retired to the conference room and played a rousing game of Descent. Jason murdered a lot of beastmen and skeletons with his muscley barbarian, Jeremy went to the store and bought a bow that shoots through schools, Wes got kind of drunk, and I looted the most treasure piles (I think... I did fall into a pit trap at one point).

Then... there was this kind of magic hour. A point at which the snow let up, the traffic eased up, and we had about 2 hours to get out of Paizo and back home before midnight. What happens at midnight? Apparently this wall of Ithaqua's own breath descends from the north pole, bathing the region in a blast of cold (temperatures are estimated to hit a high of 22 degrees), which should easily turn all the slush-covered hill roads into launching ramps of ice.

Chances are good that most of us won't be making it in to work tomorrow, in any event, and I'm just glad I dodged being eaten.

Heck, if I'd known that becoming a cannibal would have resulted in increased subscriptions, I would have signed up for the longpork chow line months ago! Because I've certainly never partaken of human before. Certainly not.

In any case, feel free to keep voting. I'd kind of like to see if Phil can hit 100 votes by Monday.

 

[Jason Bulmahn]

So cold here now.. and so quiet. Its just me and a pile of bones. The others might have stood a chance against me had they ganged up on me at the start, but per this threads poll we started with Phil and then James. By the time it came to me, the rest were no match for me. At any rate, we now have some new openings on the menu.. err.. staff. Yeah.. staff, that's it. You will not be eaten at Paizo. Prospective candidates should prepare a resume and choice of marinades.

Jason Bulmahn
Managing Cannibal of Dragon

 

[James Jacobs]

But the question is, Mr. Bulmahn... if Pigmodeus governs bad pork, and Beefzabul governs bad beef, and Kostimeatchi governs bad exotic meat, and Pazuzu governs bad poultry...

Which demon lord of bad meat governs longpork? I can't believe we haven't discussed this already!

 

[Jason Bulmahn]

Hmm.. interesting question. How about Manphistopheles? Although.. that sounds like it might have other implications.

Jason Bulmahn
Managing Cannibal of Dragon

 

[James Jacobs]

So let it be written.

 

[Jason Bulmahn]

Thank you Yul Brynner.

Jason Bulmahn
Does anybody know a good way to get hair and d10 out from between your teeth?

 

[CanadienneBacon]

The sharp end of a d4 works wonders.