Pathfinder 1E Who should nourish the others at Paizo?

[Jdvn1]

Eat anyone without a J in his name.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Well, I guess Paizo will get a new slogan now: Paizo - We serve everyone.

I voted for the sales guy. Nothing personal.

You guy were playing Descent? DON'T PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD!

Jeremy went to the store and bought a bow that shoots through schools

You didn't. Hunting for food is okay, but in schools?

Heck, if I'd known that becoming a cannibal would have resulted in increased subscriptions, I would have signed up for the longpork chow line months ago! Because I've certainly never partaken of human before. Certainly not.

Curiously, it doesn't actually taste like chicken. Uh, or so I've heard.

Eat Sutter...just do it. He's veggie. Why let him live, he can't eat anyone else anyway.

For exactly that reason. Eliminate the dangrous people now, and save him for later.

2)What happens if this turns into a Apocalypse and you need to reseed the earth with humanity?

So that's how all those post-apocalyptic societies in the movies are so depraved: Usually the only survivors are those who will eat their neighbour in order to survive. And that's why they're all on edge every time. They can't get a good night's sleep, with all those cannibals walking around. "What was that? Who's there? Are you hungry? You look hungry! Get lost!"



"Do you like Phil?"
"Oh yes, very much!"
"Then get a second helping. Don't be shy!"

But hm.... If I read that list correctly, that James Jacobs was already eaten by some Chief. Stands there: James Jacobs (Editor in Chief: Dungeon)

I guess if Eric had returned too late, the others would have just given him the cold shoulder.

 

[PaizoPhil]

Great jumping jeezus, people, just because I don't have the words "Editor" and "Dragon" or "Dungeon" in my title, and you throw me to this pack of ravenous savages?? I'll have you know that for about 45 minutes this evening, six went out to bring back delicions snacky thingies, leaving me alone - ALONE! - in the Paizo estate with one Mr. Jacobs. He promptly pounced upon me (not an easy feat, as both of us are at least 6'2" and 285 if an ounce), ripped out my heart and liver, reanimated me and plopped me in a chair in the conference room faster than you can say "alternate cover."

By the time The Others (as I now refer to the treacherous flesh-hungry hordes who are all conspiring to eat me) came back from their little "grocery run", I had set up a game of Descent. They returned with great heaping mountains of junk food that was promptly cooked and devoured (along with this bottle of plum wine that mysteriously appeared and just as mysteriously disappeared into glasses) while I was the DM of a quite rousing game while we watched all the chumps below on Richards Road slip and slide.

Little did they suspect it was Jacobs all along who had devoured my soul, and that I was nothing more than a reanimated spectre of my former self...

What's REALLY freaky weird is that leaving our office area...deserted. I-90 eastbound the first five miles or so, nothing. Then I hit SNOW. And I'm from Cincinnati, so to me "snow" begins once about four or five inches has begun to stick - anything less just isn't worth writing home about. On the last ten miles of my drive over the mountains to get home, I counted 116 cars and 41 trucks off the side of the road. I am not making this up.

What's even MORE freaky weird is that up here, where I live int he mountains, just a few miles from Snoqualmie Pass? Nothing. Just a few flurries. We're the ones who SHOULD be getting hammered, and yet the lowlands are being beaten like redheaded stepchildren at a West Virginia family reunion.

Either way, I escaped with my hide intact. FOR NOW....

 

[meomwt]

I voted for the Sales guy before seeing that they'd all got out.

What the heck. What's the shipping cost of a few spare sales ribs to the UK? They'll be frozen already, so they'll keep

 

[Bagpuss]

as both of us are at least 6'2" and 285 if an ounce

You know you aren't helping your cause by quoting the amount of meat on you.

 

[diaglo]

having seen y'all in person i gotta go with James. he could feed an army of pygmies

 

[Umbran]

Of course they are! But pirates are tastier, they've been marinated.

Technically, since it is salt-water based, it is a brine.

 

[Desdichado]

I don't know who you should eat, but I know who you shouldn't eat. You've only got one woman on that list. What if you get stuck there indefinately and need to repopulate the building? You'll want to keep her around.

 

[RangerWickett]

I so wish I had a good idea for a cannibal-themed article to pitch to Paizo. Maybe for an April issue.

Or perhaps just an article on weather hazards, that happens to include a new feat category - Cannibal.

Cannibals of the Snow Coast? Hmm. Brainstorm time.

 

[Ghostwind]

Phil, you were the obvious choice since your flesh has long been marinated with tequila and other alcohols over the years, therefore it must be tender and succulent. Besides, it only makes sense for the sales guy to be eaten first. After all, sharks are always quick to turn on their own.